


Out Through The Curtain

by looking_glass



Series: Hushed Sounds [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Drama, F/M, Family, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-10
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-27 04:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/looking_glass/pseuds/looking_glass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and your WIFE died a couple of years ago. Now you're just trying to DEAL WITH YOUR LIFE and make sure that your SON grows up sound and happy, even if he is a CRABBY LITTLE GUY. And things were going perfectly well until you were forced to meet ERIDAN AMPORA.</p><p>You're really not sure if you want him around because he's a STUCK UP IDIOT. Yet somehow, you can't get rid of him. You're not even sure if you WANT TO ANYMORE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was a question every kid had asked their parents at least once in their lives. _How did you meet? When did you fall in love?_ When Karkat, voice barely above a whisper, cheeks red and splotchy from crying, had curled up on Sollux' chest, the computer expert had frozen, back twisting into a ball of tense muscles. His fingers had been shaking a bit when he carefully ran them through Karkat's hair, once, twice times before he wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders.

 

Karkat had always had a gift for asking the worst questions at the worst time.

 

And Sollux had never been good with answering questions that were too close to his heart. There had only been a single person who had been able to get away with gently pulling his shields down. She was as good a starting point as any so Sollux Captor, widower and single-father as of two months, took a deep breath, licked his lips and started to talk.

 

They had met when they were both barely thirteen, Sollux slim and still small and incredibly awkward at dealing with his growing body, and Aradia, quiet but gentle, with a smile that seemed to light up a room. They had several classes together and always, without fail, ended up sitting next to each other. They didn't talk much past class related things, at first. Then Sollux had mentioned his love for computers and Aradia had pointed out that her own computer had trouble handling one of her games even though it had run smoothly before and before Sollux had even realized what he was doing, he'd offered her his assistance.

 

Initially, he'd been horrified. He had no problem talking to people over the phone, had no problem yelling at someone to stop messing around when they'd obviously screwed up.

 

But he had never been the best with people. His fathers had already been worried when Sollux barely brought friends home, back when he had been in primary school. Instead, the child had retreated to his room, spending an endless amount of time reading books, taking old electronic devices apart and sneaking off to try and mess around with his fathers' computers whenever he thought they weren't looking. Unfortunately, Sollux had never been good at sneaking around and his little escapades where more often noted than not.

 

Except that Aradia's beaming smile had blown all his worries away and after informing them at dinner that he would be going to a friend's house after school the next day, both of his parents had smiled and given him a nod of approval.

 

Aradia's computer issue had been easily fixed and they had spent the rest of the day sitting next to each other and reading, talking about their parents, about their hobbies until Sollux' new friend had sat up, grabbed his hand and dragged him along to her own little ruin. She had showed him her trinkets, old little cups, spoons and occasionally, other small things like a brooch which her father had hidden in the old, half-crumbled but secure remains of an old barn for her last birthday.

 

That day, a bond had been forged. When Sollux' fathers dropped by to pick their son up from the Vantas household, Aradia had pulled her new-found friend into a hug which Sollux immediately returned, though not without an awkward smile touching his lips. It was only a short hug but it spoke volumes about the trust the children had started to place in the other.

 

Their relationship only grew over the years, changing from friends to close friends, and then, after the clumsy kiss on New Year's Eve, from close friends to boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Sometimes, people wondered. Aradia grew into a beautiful woman with the brightest smile and the prettiest brown eyes, well-liked by almost everyone. Sometimes, people whispered she only dated Sollux out of pity. Because Sollux still looked like he didn't belong in his own body, still not fully grown and with a frame that seemed not unlike a bird's. It hadn't gone unnoticed by the young couple and occasionally, Sollux would give Aradia a miserable look of such gloom that she pinched his side until he fought her off, lips slightly curled into a wide smirk before starting to tease her about the mess that was her hair.

 

In their final year of High School, people finally stopped wondering what Aradia saw in Sollux. Because finally, he didn't need braces anymore, finally, he didn't look awkward in his body, at last, he was finally half a head taller than Aradia. Finally, those who didn't understand the emotional bond they shared, those who only paid attention to the outside and not the inside, stopped begrudging them. Sollux had been incredibly proud when he'd had to lean down to kiss her on their Senior Prom, her form practically radiant that evening, glowing with happiness.

 

It didn't really surprise anyone when they got engaged that very summer. Sollux had worked hard over the course of the school year, fixing codes, repairing computers, making programs. He had nervously asked her father for permission, hands shaking but voice steady and determined. He had bought her the prettiest ring he could afford, had taken her back to her little ruin, the old barn now so much smaller than when they had been children. There, Sollux had taken her hand, cheeks red as he had fumbled with the small package, squeezing it while he tried to calm his nerves. All while they watched the sun go down, watched the soft orange and red glow light up the sky, enjoyed the scent of the flowers all around them.

 

Then he had asked her, had gotten down on one knee, only getting caught up in his own words once before Sollux waited with bated breath for her answer.

 

For perhaps the first time in her life, Aradia had looked utterly surprised.

 

And then she had fallen right into his arms, repeating _yesyesyes_ until he kissed the words away.

 

When Sollux had told his fathers, one of them had burst into tears. Sollux had never felt more embarrassed and proud in his entire life.

 

Spring was when the marriage took place, a soft but sunny day in April, in between preparing for their college exams and part-time jobs and all the love they could find in each other. Aradia had looked breathtaking, clad in gentle white and carrying a bouquet of wild flowers. Sometimes, Sollux asked himself what he had done to deserve her. But that very same evening, after the vows had been exchanged, feet had been danced sore and hankies had gotten stained by way too many tears, she had asked him the very same thing.

 

W _hat did I do to deserve you, Sollux?_

 

And then they had both wondered what they had done to deserve such parents because when they were half-way through college, their parents had bought them a house. One with a small garden and enough space for them to comfortably live in. Sollux had given his parents a stern talking too, voice filled with gratitude and anger. Aradia had given her own father the same lecture in the same tone, with the same emotions dancing in her voice.

 

The first day he woke up next to his wife, his heart had given a painful pang. He could barely believe that this was all real. Sollux Captor, who liked the colours red and blue, loved the honey his fathers gave him whenever they visited, yelled at computer screens when things didn't go as planned and occasionally threw out painful remarks as if they were pop tarts, had the most loving and irritating family he could have ever asked for.

 

Both newly-weds felt as if their life was perfect. They hadn't talked much about wanting children, only that maybe, in the future, a child wouldn't be unwelcome.

 

When they had both stared at the positive pregnancy test, Sollux and Aradia had both been at a loss. They were barely into their twenties, just out of their teens, still taking college classes and living on part-time jobs to pay for everything. How did a child fit into that equation? They could just manage to pay for their bills, had set something aside for a belated honeymoon, how would they be able to give the child whatever it would need?

 

Aradia's father dropped by that day, wearing a white suit and green tie, just fresh out of a meeting. He hadn't bashed Sollux' head in, like the young man had expected him to. Instead, he had leaned back and taken a good look at his daughter, then at Sollux, reading the worry on their faces.

 

 _All a child needs is loving parents. Parents, willing to ignore vacation plans and buy diapers instead, parents, willing to put up with nightly crying and fussing. Parents, willing to watch their child smile and grow and fall and get back up and leave them the freedom to grow._

 

Sollux had taken Aradia's hand and squeezed.

 

Maybe they weren't ready yet but Sollux, who had grown up in the system until his fathers had adopted him, didn't want anyone to go through that. And Aradia had made it clear from the start that she was not going to abort their child.

 

Karkat was born in the middle of July, on a hot summer day. He was small but had a healthy set of lungs, ten fingers and ten toes and an adorable nose. It was too bad his default expression was an angry frown, his face seemed to be permanently stuck into a glower.

 

Until Sollux had found a ticklish spot and his son had squirmed and made a startled but delighted noise. Aradia had laughed at the squirming bundle in Sollux' arms and called him a little wriggler.

 

Their little wriggler soon proved to be a handful, crying loudly whenever something was wrong and throwing things as soon as he could. Karkat's teeth grew very early and between online classes and shopping and changing diapers, Sollux and Aradia barely caught some sleep.

 

But it was worth it because soon, Karkat would forget to frown so much and smile instead, waving little fists and babbling happily to himself, wreaking havoc by pulling at everyone and everything, toddling over to his parents as soon as his legs could carry his weight.

 

Jokingly, Sollux' father, the one with the bright red hair and the wide grin, called Karkat a joyful plague.

It was rather accurate.

 

Life went on. Aradia started to work at a local museum, Sollux staying behind at home, still working on codes and files and programs and occasionally doing some not quite legal hacking. Karkat was usually in the same room with him, staring at his father and frowning harshly the more Sollux paid attention to the screen instead of the toddler. Then Karkat would wobble-march up to Sollux, tug at him until Sollux would sigh and scoop the child up to play with him outside, grinning slightly at the way Karkat eyed him suspiciously, as if Sollux would bail as soon he could.

 

The day it happened had been like any other. Karkat's birthday had been about a month ago. Aradia had left in the morning, kissing Sollux' cheek first, then bending down to do the same for the grumpy looking Karkat before leaving for work. Sollux had spent his time on the computer until Karkat tugged him away and made him cook something.

 

In the middle of preparing the food, there had been a call from the hospital. If he was Sollux Captor, husband of Aradia Vantas? They had some very bad news for him...

 

A car had crashed straight into Aradia's bike. Catching her between a brick wall and the car, crushing her frame, splintering her bones and stealing her life.

 

The days passed in a blur, Karkat's miserable face usually found buried in his father's legs. How does one explain to a child that their mother won't be coming back? That she's not simply playing hide and seek and that he's not just not looking hard enough? That it's not his fault?

 

They both dealt with Aradia's death in their own ways. Sollux threw himself into his work, spending night upon night coding and writing and tapping away on his keyboard until he passed out. He was being irrational, barely managing to drag himself through his days, his attention and patience with Karkat fading day by day.

 

Until the young boy threw his first real fit. He had yelled at his father in wordless rage, smashing his small fists against Sollux stomach until he was crying and clinging to him, sobbing loudly as he buried his face in his father's stomach.

 

At first, Sollux refused. Refused to do anything about this screaming young child clinging to him, the rational part of his brain telling him to get back to work so he could pay for their bills, for their food and their clothes and everything Karkat would need.

 

...would need?

 

 _All a child needs is loving parents_.

 

It was two months after his wife's death that Sollux finally stopped coding, leaving the little room with his computer behind to find his son, who was curled up on his bed, staring listlessly at the wall.

 

Sollux had set down next to him, staring into those eyes that said _You left me. You left me, too. Go away. I don't need you._

 

Sollux did not leave. He did not leave when Karkat started growling at him again, did not leave when Karkat attempted to hit him with a pillow, did not leave when Karkat's small fist managed to hit his cheek.

 

That single punch seemed to snap Karkat out of it. And opened to floodgates.

 

Together, they curled up on Karkat's bed, just clinging to each other. Because they only had one another left. Together, they cried until their eyes hurt and their cheeks felt raw and hot and their voices sounded as worn out as they felt and Karkat finally asked the question.

 

\---

 

Life afterwards still wasn't easy. But they learned to cope. Whenever Sollux would go on a coding spree, Karkat would come and sit in his lap, blocking the view until Sollux would stand up and pay attention to his son instead.

 

Whenever Karkat got angry over little things, Sollux would crouch down and hold him, lips pulled into a flat line, a hand rubbing small circles on his son's back.

 

It wasn't perfect but the world wouldn't wait for them to finish grieving.

 

Time marched on.


	2. Chapter 1

There were _still_ leftovers in the fridge. Cheerfully colourful pieces of cake practically waved at Sollux as he gave them a glare and picked something else to eat instead before slamming the door shut.

 

Karkat's birthday had been last Friday and all of his Grandparents had apparently decided that Sollux' son looked a little bit too skinny to be healthy. So they all brought cakes. In addition to the one Sollux had spent an entire afternoon carefully baking and decorating. So when Sollux' parents had picked up Karkat from school, the seven year old had found not one but four cakes waiting for him at home.

 

The unmasked glee on his face had only managed to make Sollux forget about the inevitable avalanche of leftovers for a couple of hours. But then his fathers had left and so had Mister Vantas and no one else had visited that day.

 

So, much to Sollux and Karkat's chagrin, they'd spent the entire weekend eating cake.

 

By Sunday evening, Karkat had been glaring angrily at the rainbow coloured piece of cake on his plate as if it had personally offended him. Sollux didn't fare much better, staring at his own piece of cake as if he could make it explode or disappear by glaring alone.

 

Alas, the pieces had not magically disappeared and the small family had been forced to devour the sugary confections.

 

Thankfully, Monday rolled around and Sollux had wrapped up as much cake as he could before dropping Karkat and the cake off at school. The message had been clear: _Karkat, if you don't want to eat cake for dinner again, you better make sure all of it will be gone when I pick you up again._

 

The sharp nod and frown had made Sollux almost proud as Karkat marched into the school, the plate with cake carefully held in his grasp. He'd always known his son was a bright boy and could read most hidden messages beautifully.

 

Grudgingly, Sollux had to give some of that teaching credit to those silly romance movies Karkat had gotten obsessed with the previous year. The boy wouldn't be half the wonderful interpreter if it wasn't for DVDs of Disney movies and Titanic. Or, Sollux thought with a shudder, Gone With The Wind. Or whatever else his boy had stashed into his room.

 

In a rather gleeful, Sollux had made his way back home, lines of code already running through his head, jumping from this to that, from frame to frame to frame. He had gotten so distracted by his thoughts, he'd forgotten to stop at a nearby grocery store and instead had made his way back home right away.

 

As soon as the dirty laundry had been stored in the washing machine, he'd hit the tiny little room, which housed his computers, like a storm, booting them all up at once, shifting from one to the other, writing and writing and writing until his eyes hurt, his back was a mess of tangled muscles and his fingers felt ready to fall off. Sollux glared at the screen, chewing at his bottom lip thoughtfully as he contemplated the pros and cons of taking a break.

 

Oh who was he kidding, he needed to get this done while his son was still in school and the laundry was still not completely clean and while his ideas were still running a marathon through his head. No, he needed to finish this. If he didn't and lost his train of thought by doing so, he would probably mangle the bushes out in the back with his gardening scissors. Again. And he really didn't want to cut off as much as last time.

 

Sollux nor Karkat had even mentioned what exactly they had seen that day to each other but both knew that it had been horrifying enough to not bring it up. Ever.

 

No, no one needed a repeat of that. Not Karkat or Sollux and especially not his neighbours.

 

Instead, Sollux tackled his work with his usual determined tenacity and filled entire screens with long lines of complex code.

 

It was only when his stomach threatened to eat itself that Sollux grudgingly decided to take a break. He had promised Karkat not to overdo it, especially when the seven year old was not around to observe him and drag him away when he deemed his father too far gone. He usually started screeching and glaring if Sollux didn't stop fast enough, something Sollux was torn between calling adorable and frustrating. His son could be a real pest.

 

Break dubbed suitable, Sollux had saved all his work and shut down his computers, nerves frazzled and eyes wide as he made his way to the kitchen, grabbing the coffee which had been kept warm since the morning. The computer specialist had almost been in what one could call a good mood until he had seen the contents of his fridge.

 

Oh bees.

 

The rainbow coloured cake still claimed itself sole king to the uppermost shelf. And was, in fact, the only ruler of the fridge kingdom, aside from the half-empty bottle of milk and the small glass of raspberry jelly.

 

So Sollux did what every self-sacrificing father did.

 

He ignored the cake and went for the jelly instead.

 

\---

 

Sighing, Sollux sat down at the kitchen table, dumping some of the jelly on a slice of toast before chewing almost viciously on it. What time was it anyway? With a indifferent expression, Sollux glanced at his watch.

 

And nearly spat out his toast.

 

School had ended almost half an hour ago.

 

He was the worst father ever.

 

Sollux didn't even bother finishing his toast, instead abandoning it and his beloved coffee on the table as he made a beeline for his keys and then his car.

 

Karkat looked ready to gnaw his leg off, as he had so often tried to do when his little baby teeth had decided to make an appearance. He was still a little damp from the light drizzle still falling from the sky, telling Sollux everything he needed to know.

 

His son had waited outside as always. And waited. And waited.

 

Until he must have noticed that no, his dad really wasn't going to win the father-of-the-year award and trudged back inside the building.

 

Now Sollux stood in front of him, hands in his pockets to hide how they clenched and relaxed into fists out of anxiety.

 

“You're late, Dad.” Simple words, really. But the tone was so full of anger that Karkat wouldn't have been able to fool anyone.

 

“You're thtating the obviouth, KK. It won't happen again.” That's what he had said the last time this had happened. And so far, Sollux had been good at keeping his promise.

 

“It better not, fuckass.” The last part was mumbled as Karkat adjusted his backpack and walked out the door into the light rain.

 

“Watch your language, mithter!” In all seriousness, Sollux had never minded Karkat's penchant for swearing. There was a lot to swear about in this world, especially for a young boy who was teased at school for being smaller than the average kid and for loving romance movies. But they had both agreed that there were places for swearing and that there were places where it would be easier to tune every aggravating word out.

 

The school happened to belong to the latter.

 

“Fuck you, Dad!” Oh God damn it.

 

“KK, I thaid it won't happen again. I know I thaid the thame thing latht time but this time, I mean it. Now get into the car and buckle in.”

 

Karkat's dark brown eyes narrowed but he did as he was told, settling down in the back after dropping off his backpack next to him. Silently, Sollux watched Karkat tug at the seatbelt until he could buckle himself in, then turned to his father.

 

“There. I'm done. Stop looking at me as if I'm still a wriggling little child in dire need of a diaper-change! I could have walked home by myself if you'd just called me and told me that you're too busy staring at your screen all day, slobbering all over those lines of code!”

 

“Karkat.” Sollux voice was a low, impatient tone and the young boy tensed in return, shoulders slightly hunched as he gave his father a defiant look. Sollux rarely used his name, calling him KK instead. He only called him Karkat when he'd had his own shitty day and wasn't willing to put up with Karkat's moody bursts.

 

The angry rant came to a halt and Sollux shut the door before sliding into his own seat, turning the key and listening to the old car rumble to life.

 

“Dad?”

 

“What ith it, KK?”

 

“I still like you.”

 

Sollux stifled a chuckle.

 

“Thtill love you too, little wriggler.”

 

“I take it back! I fucking hate you!”

 

“Hehehe.”

 

\---

 

Codes filled Sollux' computers' screens again but this time, he had taken an alarm clock with him and set it to half an hour before he had to pick Karkat up. He didn't want or need a repeat of the previous day. Karkat had been sulky and clingy for the rest of the day. Not that Sollux didn't appreciate it but it was difficult to change light bulbs when your son was clinging to your legs and refused to let go.

 

For a moment, Sollux paused and minimized the window he was working in, giving himself a couple of seconds to stare at his desktop background. It was a photo, taken in the day they had gone to a nearby lake. Sollux was holding a then 12 months old Karkat while Aradia was laughing, her arms wrapped around them both. Karkat looked predictably grumpy. It had been a beautiful day, all sunshine and gentle warmth and Karkat had seemed fascinated by the waves while Sollux and Aradia had sat near him, her hand firmly held in his as she had rested her head on his shoulder.

 

On some days, Sollux still missed her terribly. She had been more than 'just' his wife. She had been his closest friend above all else, someone he knew didn't judge him and would actually encourage him to do what he thought was right, who also didn't hesitate to tell him that he was being ridiculous and stubborn and absolutely bratty. And he had done the same thing for her, stopping her and telling her when she was being too expectant, holding her close when she needed someone to lean against.

 

But he didn't have her anymore. Aradia was gone. No one would be able to replace her but Sollux also couldn't act as if his whole life had revolved around her, that she had been the foundation on which he had build his entire existence.

 

He also had Karkat to take care of and keep an eye on. Karkat, who had his mother's unruly hair and her brown eyes and Sollux' horrible temper (though sometimes he wondered if that temper wasn't simply _just_ Karkat's) and his penchant for being pessimistic. Karkat, who, on rare days, still crawled into Sollux' bed and curled up next to his father when he'd had a bad dream or simply needed to know that his father was still there.

 

A shrill noise snapped Sollux out of his little trip down memory lane. He needed a couple of seconds to realized that the phone was ringing.

 

Grumbling, he stood up and marched into the living room, picking up the phone.

 

“Captor thpeaking.”

 

“Good day Mister Captor, this is Miss Peixes!”

 

Feferi Peixes, Miss Sea foam and Sunshine, was Karkat's teacher and someone Sollux had come to appreciate in the last year. She was quite possibly the most honest person he had ever known and didn't stop to spare anyone's feelings when she was on warpath with someone. She was also sweet and a bright teacher whom Karkat complained about but never called any silly names.

 

Wait.

 

Why was Karkat's teacher calling him in the middle of the day? School wasn't even over yet.

 

“Did thomething happen with KK, Mithh Peixeth?” Usually, he would have called her FF but this wasn't a social call. This was school related and to be kept professional.

 

“You could say that! He got into a fight with two of his classmates and all three of them have some bad scratches and will look a little blue and purple in some places tomorrow. But seeing as Karkat is the one who started this fight and he won't tell me why he was so angry with them, I'll have to send him home for the rest of the day. Maybe you can try and talk to him and then tell me why he did it so I can sort this mess out? It's REALLY distressing when I don't know what to say to make him open up to me and I need to tell the other boys' parents why their kids will look a little worse for the wear.”

 

Sollux blinked. And then his lips curled into a frown. Sure, Karkat was usually angry. He could get fed up with people in a matter of seconds and start yelling just as quickly but he never got physically violent unless someone attacked him first. People didn't suspect it but Karkat Vantas usually preferred the peaceful way out.

 

So why had his son gotten into a fight with two other kids? Had started the fight, in fact?

 

“I'll come and pick him up right away and thee what I can get him out of him.”

 

“Thanks, Sollux! You're the BEST!”

 

Sollux didn't bother stifling his smirk.

 

“FF, you know I'm a modetht person. No need to go overboard with the complimentth.”

 

Feferi just laughed and wished him good luck before ending the call.

 

\---

 

Karkat could be really difficult. They hadn't spoken since Sollux had picked him up, not past 'Let's get you into the car' and 'Fuck this place'.

 

The second Sollux was done plastering band aids over the scratches Karkat had received and smearing a balm over the blossoming bruises, the boy had taken off and slammed the door to his room noisily in the universal gesture of 'I am angry and if you bother me, I am definitely going to kill you and piss on your corpse after I'm done'.

 

Sollux gave him an hour to calm down until he knocked on his door.

 

“Go away!”

 

Sollux rolled his eyes. Karkat's fits could be endearing but today, it was annoying. He needed to know what had gotten his son into such a bad mood.

 

“Nope. In fact, I'm going to come in now and you can't stop me.”

 

He waited for a couple of seconds until Sollux heard the sound of something plush and soft hitting the door before actually entering, picking the plush-crab up along the way.

 

Karkat was curled up under his covers, still seething and snarling at his father but at the same time, he just looked tiny and lost, unsure of how Sollux would react.

 

“KK, ith there a good explanation ath to why you decided to give Crabdad flying lethhons?” His tone was casual as Sollux sat down on the edge of the bed and offered the toy to his son again.

 

Cautiously, Karkat reached for the crab and tugged it back beneath his covers again. “He said bad things about Gramps and Grandpa.”

 

Sollux paused and raised an eyebrow, studying his son carefully over the edge of his shades. No. Karkat wasn't lying. But he was once again proving himself as the grand master of subtext.

 

“Really? What did he say?” Because it was obvious they weren't really talking about the crab but it gave Karkat something to hide behind.

 

“He said that they're unnatural and they shouldn't have been allowed to get married in the first place and that I'm weird for having two Granddads who are guys and not a Granddad and a Grandma. That they're going to a bad place after they die and that you'll go to a bad place when you die because you love them and that I'm going to be just like them and go to hell too. I really wouldn't care what Crabdad says about me but...” Karkat bit down on his bottom lip. “They called Gramps and Grandpa really insulting names. Really, really insulting ones. And I couldn't just let that stand so I got angry.”

 

A little fearfully, Karkat peered out from beneath the covers. “...are you angry with me, too?”

 

For a couple of moments, Sollux couldn't say anything at all.

 

His son, his proud and protective son, disappeared to hide beneath the covers again. “...they said that Gramps and Grandpa should go ahead and die.”

 

Slowly, Sollux reached out and wrapped his arms around Karkat's hidden form, pulling him onto his lap, blanket, crab plush and squawking child and all.

 

“KK, I couldn't get angry with you for beating them up if I tried. You really thouldn't have done that, thould have gone to FF and told her about it inthtead of attacking them. But I'm not angry. Not at you or with you.”

 

Not for loving his family and defending them. Not for going against his principles and letting those two kids get away with insulting people he loved.

 

“If they want you to apologithe, don't do it and call me inthtead. They're athhholes and don't detherve your apologieth.”

 

Finally, Karkat peeled out of his cocoon and stared at his father. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks red and splotchy. “You're not angry?”

 

“No, KK. Not with you. And you know what? We're going to order pizza for dinner. Because we both detherve it.”

 

“...Dad? You're still coming to the live reading on Friday, right? The author is going to read the first chapter of his new book from The Summoner series to us and Miss Peixes said to make sure that at least one parent will be coming.”

 

Karkat, in addition to loving romantic movies, had gotten himself addicted to books in the last couple of months. Specifically, to the books of one author by the name of Nitram. Sollux had read the first book together with his son and had to admit that it was a good book for children. Ever since they had announced a second book, Karkat had gotten bright-eyed and chatty whenever someone mentioned the series.

 

It was too cute for Sollux to tease Karkat about it.

 

And now, the author in question was coming by to do a live reading at Karkat's school. The child had spent the next two days in a strangely good mood until it pummelled back to its' usual level of grouch.

 

“Yeth, KK. We're still going. And I'll be on time, ath promithed.”

 

Occasionally, Karkat would do something so incredibly sweet that Sollux swore his teeth rotted whenever it happened. And he was completely sure they rotted even further when Karkat rested his head against Sollux' chest and gave his father an awkward but trusting smile.

 

“Thanks Dad.”

 

Grinning, Sollux gave his son a little squeeze and nuzzled the top of his head teasingly.

 

Karkat grumbled.

 

“...Dad?”

 

“Yeth?”

 

“...can we watch Gone With The Wind while eating the pizza?”

 

Sollux barely managed to stifle the groan of sheer horror.

 

\---

 

Friday rolled around in a rather unspectacular fashion, a normal day for both parent and child as they worked through their daily schedules. Karkat had spent all of Thursday bouncing up and down, chatting up a mile a minute about why Nitram was better than other authors and why his books were really great and how his characters were just so good and how his plot developed and--

 

In short, Karkat had spent the day as if he had been high on sugar. The upside to this energy burst was that he had passed out at six in the evening and slept through the entire night without waking up once.

 

Sollux had spent the rest of that evening in blessed silence, without the opening or closing song of whatever romance crap Karkat was watching flitting through the air.

 

When school was nearly over, Sollux had driven up to the building and met his bouncing and excited son in front of his classroom. After exchanging looks with Feferi, Sollux had been dragged along by his son who, as he let his father know several times the day before, wanted really, really good seats so he could get a good look at the author.

 

The large attic usually used for storing tables and chairs was now empty, safe for a single plush chair and several blankets covering the ground. Karkat rushed up to the front row but seemed to change his mind two seconds after sitting down, instead opting for the blue and red blanket in the second row.

 

Sollux followed suit, leaning back as Karkat quivered with barely concealed excitement.

 

Other children dragging their parents along slowly filled the room, the high pitch of happy children filling the air, with the occasional low voice of their parents mixed in.

 

“Any minute now.” Karkat was staring at the comfortable looking chair as if he could make Nitram magically appear.

 

Minutes continued to tick by.

 

Karkat frowned. Sollux sighed and checked his watch again at his son's nudging.

 

Time continued to pass.

 

Several parents started to glance at the door with an expectant expression on their face.

 

No Nitram.

 

Instead, half an hour after the live reading was supposed to start, a breathless Feferi rushed in and only stopped at the front, turning around to face the audience.

 

“Hello and thank you for coming everybody! Today was supposed to be the day Mister Nitram would come and visit us to read his book to all of us--”

 

Karkat's frown deepened and small lines appeared between his eyebrows.

 

“-but he had to cancel those plans.”

 

A disappointed noise filled the air and Karkat curled his fingers into small fists to hide his disappointment.

 

“His son has gotten into a serious accident and I'm sure you'll all understand if he wants to stay by his side for now. He wants me to let you all know that he is very, very sorry and that he will visit us all as soon as he can but until his son's condition is stable, he won't be able to come and visit us.”

 

Some people in the back started to stand, grabbing their jackets and children, ready to leave.

 

“But this does not mean that the reading is cancelled completely. Instead, he has asked for a replacement to fill in for him. And as I know the author who will do the reading today, I can say for sure that you will enjoy the reading regardless. Please, give a warm welcome to Eridan Ampora!”

 

“What kind of name ith that?” Karkat caught his father's muttering over the sound of polite clapping and smothered a laugh before crawling into Sollux' lap and making himself comfortable.

 

Sollux quirked an eyebrow at that but didn't question it, instead resting his chin on Karkat's head, receiving a soft, annoyed noise in return.

  
And then Sollux Captor caught sight of Eridan Ampora.

 

The man was tall, with dark hair and a violet streak (Sollux snorted upon catching sight of it), slicked back front bangs and a wide, confident grin on his face. His stride was brisk and suggested that yes, this person probably loved himself a little too much. Probably one of those who kissed their mirror image every morning.

 

And his glasses. If the violet streak in his hair didn't imply that he liked to think of himself as an adult-hipster, the glasses surely did. As did the scarf. Who wore a scarf in the middle of summer anyway?

 

And he was winking at everyone who looked at him a little too long.

 

Sollux and Karkat exchanged a look.

 

 _What a douchebag._

 

Ampora sat down on the chair after giving Feferi a short nod and a smile, looking a little too stiff and proud to be comfortable.

 

“Greetings, everyone.” What a posh little accent. Well, at least Sollux could appreciate that his voice was nice and clear. If the author would just keep the smug superiority out of it. “As Fef has already said, I'm Eridan Ampora and I'm going to replace Simon Nitram today. I have written several books myself and I can assure you that I will do just a fine job as Mister Nitram would have, if not better.”

 

Sollux frowned.

 

Feferi grimaced.

 

Karkat looked ready to explode.

 

“I shall not keep you waiting any longer, as you are all have been kept waiting long enough. Let's begin.”

 

And he started to read.

 

It wasn't bad, Sollux decided. But he obviously lacked the passion the author himself would have had. The passion a child would have had while reading the book, all wide eyes and happy grins and occasional gleeful noises.

 

Eridan just sounded bored. Like he was only there because he didn't have any other choice.

 

Karkat started to squirm.

 

He managed to stay quiet for two pages until the words tumbled from his lips just as Ampora was turning a page.

 

“Dad, this guy sucks.”

 

The silence switched from polite and comfortable to stagnant and needle-dropping-to-the-ground in a matter of seconds.

 

Eridan raised his head from the book and glared at Karkat. Who glared right back.

 

Then Ampora, obviously expecting Sollux to scold his child and apologize, looked at Karkat's father.

 

Sollux smirked and shook his head.

 

“Theriouthly. He really thouldn't bother if he ithn't up for the tathk.”

 

The author's eyes first widened, then narrowed before he cleared his throat and started to read the next page with vigour and energy. His back straightened and he finally stopped looking and sounding smugly superior.

 

Sollux own grin widened when Eridan's eyes caught his own over the edge of the book.

 

 _Challenge accepted._


	3. Chapter 2

The following weekend proved to be free of cake and it was glorious for both Sollux and Karkat, despite the young boy's obvious anger and frustration. After the reading had been over, Karkat had marched up to Eridan and had wanted to put in a few words about his reading but Feferi had stepped in and steered Karkat over to the other kids chatting excitedly at the side.

 

Eridan, wrinkling his nose at Karkat's back, had looked not unlike a kicked puppy. Sollux found that the author deserved to look like that since his reading hadn't improved even in the slightest. Instead, the author had put emphasises on parts or words which weren't even relevant to anything. At least he had been a little more passionate about it, Sollux could give him that.

 

“Are you here to apologize on your son's behalf?”

 

Of course. Skipping the introductions and going straight for the gold. Or what Eridan probably assumed to be the gold.

 

Sollux snorted and gave Eridan a wide smirk. “No. Your reading thucked and you know it. Thouldn't you be the one to apologithe to all those kidth for methhing up? They expected a good, profethhional author reading a thtory he loved to them and what did they get inthtead? Thomeone who half-athhed hith way through the firtht two chapterth.”

 

Watching Ampora squirm and splutter was a delightful sight and Sollux' grin widened in response, leaning back against the edge of the chair Eridan had throned on, keeping an eye on Karkat. He appeared to be exchanging banter with the Egbert kid. Banter between those two usually involved John getting Karkat so angry that his son would be turned into a raging, incoherent mess of flailing limbs.

 

Egbert had a knack for getting the funniest expressions out of Karkat Sollux had ever seen.

 

“Besides...” Sollux had turned his gaze back to the author, who looked as furious as a kicked puppy could look.

 

“What?” Eridan had finally seemed to be getting his wits together again. Sollux strongly suspected that never had told him face to face how much his reading had sucked before meeting the Captor-Vantas family.

 

“If KK felt bad about inthulting you, he would have made an attempt at apologithing already. Do you thee him thtanding in front of you, trying to do jutht that? No. KK is old enough to get himthself into trouble and ith altho old enough to get himthelf out of thaid trouble and he knowth it. Have a nithe day, Mithter Ampora. Practithe your reading or go drown your thorrowth or whatever it ith you do when you're not torturing young children with your mediocre reading thkillth.”

 

Yes, now would probably a good time to leave. Karkat was already getting twitchy and his face flushed from anger. Never had Sollux seen John Egbert look this gleeful and he was a pretty annoyingly cheerful kid.

 

“I'll thee you on Monday, FF.”

 

With that, Sollux had pushed himself away from the chair and went over to retrieve his son. Eridan, on the other hand, finally spluttered to life again and followed Sollux with long strides, grabbing his shoulder to keep him from getting too far away.

 

“Listen, asshole!” Oh, there had been so much anger in Eridan's voice that Sollux had wanted to roll in it. Getting insufferable pricks all riled up was undoubtedly one of his favourite hobbies. “My reading was not mediocre! It was the book that sucked! If it would have been from a better author to start with, maybe I would have been able to make it even remotely interesting. But the plot is horrible, the characters are two dimensional at best and the whole world of The Summoner series makes you want to give the poor author some tissues to cry into because it's that bad!”

 

It had been a good thing that Eridan had kept his voice at an angry-furious hissing level. Or, Sollux mused, he would have gotten slaughtered by vicious young fans. Instead, he had given Ampora a bored look.

 

“Are you done making up excuses? Hey, FF!” Laughing, Sollux glanced past the author in question and towards the teacher, who looked ready to stab Eridan with something sharp. “You really know how to pick them! You should dress him up like a clown and just let him rant next time, at least that would be more entertaining than having to listen to him ruin a perfectly good book.”

 

With a sharp tug, Sollux pulled his shoulder out of Eridan's grasp, grabbing Karkat's backpack before dragging the young boy away from John. The first stream of insults had started flowing from Karkat's mouth so Sollux had deemed it high time to leave.

 

In the background, Eridan had turned to Feferi and was ranting angrily at her. Probably complaining about Karkat and his father.

 

Sollux couldn't have cared less.

 

On the way back home, Sollux had stopped to pick up some ice cream, wordlessly offering the cone to Karkat who looked furiously disappointed and hurt, sitting in the back of the car and sulking to himself. There were few things Karkat got really excited about lately, aside from romcoms and books. And now the book part had been ruined for him too.

 

Father and son hadn't bothered with words, their exchange completely silent but it had left Karkat somewhat less tense and more relaxed.

 

The promise of no more cake until Christmas had done the rest of the trick.

 

Saturday was spent tending to the garden, Karkat running back and forth to bring his father this spade or that shovel while Sollux planted the flowers into four, neat little rows, the blue ones in the right side, the red ones on the left side. And then Karkat had managed to get tangled up in the old raspberry bush and Sollux had spent even more time pulling out tiny thorns out of Karkat's skin, treating the bleeding cuts and listening to Karkat complain about the evils of raspberry bushes. But the raspberry bush was the magical thing which kept them and their neighbours out of each other's hair and from seeing things which should never have been seen in the first place. So while Karkat complained and glared, the bush had stayed right where it had been for the last several years.

 

On Sunday, Karkat suddenly remembered that he had way too much homework to do. Sollux rolled his eyes in exasperation at his son's behaviour and ignored the angry grumbling coming from Karkat's room to focus on his work once more.

Until Karkat had stormed in and demanded his help at this ridiculous Math question and how it was impossible to solve and that it had already caused him a headache twice the size of the universe. Together, they got the rest of Math done within ten minutes, Sollux giving his son an amused look once they were done. For all his complaining, Karkat had gotten the knack of it rather quickly.

 

Surprisingly, Karkat had willingly gone to bed early, tired and a little bit pale.

 

In the middle of the night, Sollux woke to the sound of retching and pitiful whimpers and sniffles. He found Karkat curled up on his bed, holding his stomach and staring in horror at the mess covering his sheets.

 

Groaning, Sollux first cleaned Karkat up, then moved his son to the master bedroom and handed him a bowl with the instructions to grab the container and get the mess in there next time he felt the urge to show Sollux the contents of his stomach. Then Sollux cleaned Karkat's room, throwing Crabdad and the sheets into the washing machine because he sure as hell was not going to get any of that out by scrubbing at it. Then he'd grabbed a laptop and sat down next to his fitfully sleeping son to keep an eye on him.

 

When morning rolled around, Sollux made his way to the phone as soon as he deemed the time suitable and called the school. No, Karkat really wasn't able to attend to school, not unless they wanted him to get everyone sick. According to the secretary, that seemed to already be the case as several parents had already called.

 

Sollux was sorely tempted to bash his head against the nearest wall. If most of the kids already had it, Karkat had probably gotten the germs all over Sollux already. It had taken him about two days to get sick so... Wednesday. Great.

 

And predictably, two days taking care of Karkat and his stomach bug later, Sollux found himself in his bed, miserable and tired and feeling as if the world's best assassin-headache was beating his brain into submissive mush. Karkat had taken the bus to school that morning, already much better after being allowed to watch his favourite movies and sipping soup for as long as he could keep his eyes open. Occasionally, Sollux wondered if he spoiled Karkat a little too much. But then he remembered that Karkat got spoiled way more when his Grandparents were around and he had only spoiled his son those last few days because he had been absolutely miserable.

 

Karkat didn't enjoy being pitied. Sollux knew he hated it when people gave him that sad look when they heard that Aradia had died and promptly began to call Karkat _Poor Thing_. He never took well to strangers trying to comfort him and Sollux himself found the notion ridiculous. They had never known Aradia. They had never known how Karkat had felt that day, never known how difficult the time after Aradia's death had been for father and child, how strained their relationship had become for several months. They didn't understand why Karkat shrugged their comforting gestures off and told them to leave him alone and most of the time, they ended up shooting glances or glares into Sollux direction.

 

But Sollux understood. He understood why Karkat got angry when people pitied him. Because he wasn't weak. He didn't need to be coddled, Karkat had never wanted to get coddled before in his entire life. On occasion, he would sneak into Sollux bed or hug his father when he needed comfort but other than that, he was a strong young child. A strong young child who still missed his mother but knew she would never come back no matter how long he stayed up at night or wished for it when he blew out his birthday candles.

 

Thinking about birthdays and the involved cakes made Sollux stomach churn and twist, eliciting a pained moan from the man curled up under his blankets. It seemed as if his stomach remembered the cake just as fondly as Sollux.

 

When he woke up again in the afternoon, he found Karkat's wide brown eyes staring at him, a mug filled with soup cradled in his small hands.

 

Karkat could be a pest but he was probably the best son Sollux could ever have asked for.

 

Karkat did his homework while Sollux relaxed and tried to get some work done on his laptop as the day faded with a soft orange glow, warming Sollux' pale cheeks and fanning the fires of his headache.

 

At least Karkat had something to rejoice about, Crabdad was finally deemed non-smelly and was allowed back into the young boy's bed.

 

On Friday, Sollux felt well enough to drive his son to school again but as soon as he came home, he'd curled up under the blankets again, headache pounding behind his eyes as he quietly cursed whoever had gotten all the kids at school sick. Why wasn't there a rule against coming to work or leaving the house while sick?

 

Several hours of wallowing in self-pity later, Sollux stood in front of his empty fridge and decided that he would have to go shopping regularly from now on and not just when he finally took note of the fact that he would have to starve for a couple of days if he didn't get moving soon.

 

If he timed it right, he simply would have to take a detour to pick Karkat up on his way back from shopping instead of driving a second time. For a moment, Sollux contemplated skipping food until he had picked Karkat up but his stomach protested loudly, demanding food after two days of throwing everything right back up. And like any sensible man who weighted perhaps a little bit less than he should have, Sollux gave in to the demands, grabbed his keys and made his way to the shopping center.

 

Sollux had almost managed to forget that it was Friday. Until he caught sight of the endless onslaught of people waging grocery war against each other.

 

Damn it.

 

Why was it that, every Friday, humanity acted as if as the world's food supplies would run out over the course of the weekend? There was no way a family of four would need two shopping carts filled to the brink with supplies. It wasn't that difficult to survive a weekend with a loaf of bread and some jelly. It had happened with Karkat before and while his son had grumbled and complained, they had both survived and no one had starved though neither of them wanted to see jelly or bread for the rest of the week.

 

He could understand those who worked hard all week, who pulled 12-hour shifts every day until they crashed on Fridays. But who he couldn't understand where those people who had cellphones squeezed between ear and shoulder, painting fingernails or just looking bored while waiting in the line. Those people either didn't have a lot of work to do or were, according to Karkat's theory, vampires. Never mind that they went out in broad daylight.

 

With a frustrated sigh and after a quick calculation of the best routes, Sollux threw himself into the fray. It was a vicious battle against wives and husbands and students and high school students who had decided to skip class, against elder people who had obviously also forgotten that it was Friday, if their terrified and confused gazes were anything to go by. (Aside from those old vicious ladies who might have fought in actual wars. No one's elbows could possibly be that sharp and painful otherwise.).

 

Several bruises and three screeching people later, Sollux had gotten everything they would need during the next week. It was a relief, to be finally standing in the endless line and to not be shoved around by people who decided they needed those things right this very instant, screw everyone standing in front of them, they needed to go so they could get their grabby, sweaty little fingers on them.

 

They had done nothing to improve Sollux' mood but standing in line, listening to the boring songs blast through the speakers, followed by _Did you know? Today, pork will be 10% cheaper!_ (Causing several people to abandon their carts in the line and rush over to get some more pork, probably hoping their cart would just get pushed along by the mass of people), was oddly soothing. Soon, Sollux would be able to leave, pick up Karkat and celebrate not having to go shopping again until next Friday by writing code.

 

Perfect code. Lines and lines of beautiful code. Maybe, if he tweaked his old code a little bit like this and a little bit like that...

 

His shoulders relaxed. Yes. Just like that, it would make so much more sense and the program would run so much smoother, why hadn't he thought of that before? It would be a flow unhindered by stones or obstacles, no, it would be just like a river, smooth and perfect and blue with little red dots or sunshine.

 

“If it isn't the bitchy dad with the crabby son. We meet again.”

 

Dear God no. That horribly _Oxford_ accent and the snide tone had left a good children's book beaten and abused last week. Sollux honestly wasn't in the mood to deal with the smug bastard right now. Maybe, if he ignored him...

 

“I'm talking to you, four-eyes!”

 

No, that finger prodding his arm was impossible to ignore. With a roll of his eyes, Sollux glanced to his right.

 

Eridan Ampora, smugass wannabe-author and overall douchebag, abuser of words and accents, was wearing that same silly scarf and the same stupid glasses today. Despite the tongue-lashing Sollux had given him last week, Eridan still looked as if he owned the world and believed that everyone stared at him because he was so handsome. The truth, Sollux decided, was that everyone probably wondered how someone could look this ridiculous and not get arrested.

 

“You're wearing glathhes yourthelf, you know that, right?” Sollux half wanted Eridan to say no. That would be the final straw in a cup full of disillusion.

 

“I'm well aware of that,” Eridan sniffed and gave Sollux a haughty look. “But I don't need them.”

 

“Tho you're only wearing them becauthe you want to try and look thophithticated inthtead of looking like a clown. Clathhy.”

 

Eridan made a spluttering sound which soon turned into a frustrated growl. “I am wearing them because I happen to like wearing glasses! It has nothing to do with me wanting to appear sophisticated, I don't need to _look_ the part, I _am_ sophisticated! And if you're trying to insult me, you can at least try to say the words properly!”

 

Sollux' shoulders tensed. He and his lisp had been the subject of a lot of bullying when he had been in middle school and no matter how many times Sollux tried to make proper 's' noises, it had never really worked. His braces had helped his problem a little bit but it had never fully disappeared and would would most likely stay with him for the rest of his life.

 

Eridan's eyes gleamed when he noticed the tense posture. “Sore spot?”

 

“Look man, if you're trying to be a jerkathh and trying to ethtablith thome thort of thuperiority, you've got the wrong perthon. I couldn't care lethh about you and your thitty writing or reading or whatever. You're no one to me.”

 

For a few heartbeats, everything was blissfully silent, save for the horrible music and the sound of people talking and walking.

 

Sollux was just finished paying for his groceries when Eridan spoke up again.

 

“Wow, you're a real prissypants, aren't you? Is that why you're going shopping, because you're the one who stays at home while your wife does all the real work? How does she stand your scrawny ass when all you do is complain? No wonder your son doesn't have any manners, if you're the only role-model who he sees all day.” A scoff. “You and he are really messed up. Tell your wife that she has all my pity and that if she wants to have a good time, she can get my number from Fef.”

 

There was a ton of bricks in Sollux stomach and anger filling his head like cotton, filling his ears until all he heard was his own roar of rage.

 

Something inside his chest snapped, the chain with Aradia's and his own wedding rings he wore around his neck suddenly very tight and very heavy.

 

“My wife ith dead you athhhole!”

 

Eridan physically recoiled from the waves of rage radiating off of Sollux.

 

“Don't ever talk about her like that again or I thwear I will thqueeze your neck until you are blue in the face. If you dare to thpeak about her like that again, I will find out where you live, Ampora. And I will make your life mitherable!” Seething anger was coiling in his chest, trying to claw its' way out of his body and for a few seconds, Sollux entertained the image of jumping Eridan and strangling him with his bare hands.

 

Only that Ampora looked like he would be able to push Sollux off. Not that it would stop him from trying.

 

And strangling someone actually wasn't Sollux style.

 

“Are we clear, fuckfathe?”

 

For a moment, Sollux could enjoy the shocked silence and the wide-eyed stare Eridan gave him, the utter disbelief beautiful and ugly at the same time.

 

Then Sollux turned around, grabbed his bags and marched out of the store.

 

It was time to pick up his perfectly healthy and most certainly not messed up son.

 

\---

 

Karkat didn't look any happier than Sollux did when he jumped into his father's car.

 

He explained that Miss Peixes had told them that Eridan would be holding more readings in the next two weeks, before summer break, and that she would like as many children as possibly to attend. By which she meant that everyone had to come and listen to Eridan prattle on about his stunning reading abilities before he would undoubtedly mangle another fantastic story.

 

In return, Sollux told Karkat that he had met the author in question while going shopping. He left out the actual conversation but the dark look in Karkat's eyes spoke volumes about what he thought of the encounter regardless.

 

“I hope you gave him that stomach bug, Dad.”

 

Sollux laughed. He had the best son in the entire world.


	4. Chapter 3

To Karkat's dismay, his father hadn't managed to pass the stomach bug on to Eridan. Which he had let Sollux know promptly by sulking around and cursing the _stuck up, prissypants and know it all autho_ r under his breath. Sollux didn't bother scolding Karkat about his choice of words, if only because he had been the one to use them to describe Eridan in the first place. It was too bad Karkat picked up insults like like Feferi picked up seashells. He had taken to cursing like his mother had taken to old ruins, to mysteries, to exploring. And Aradia probably would have disapproved of Karkat constantly cursing up a colourful storm.

 

But Sollux didn't mind, on most days. It may have made other people give dainty, shocked little gasps but Karkat was all about extremes, extreme anger, extreme glee, extreme worry. He was brutally honest in that regard, a little bit like Aradia had been. Only that she had cursed less and smiled toothily instead.

 

Karkat shared so many similarities with her that, every day, Sollux' heart gave a painful little twist. Aradia should have been there with them, watch Karkat grow and should have been able to comment on everything, from Karkat's love for books to his increasing curiosity regarding hand to hand combat. Should have been able to comment on Karkat's nose which looked just like Sollux' but his big eyes were all Aradia and--

 

During the times Sollux dearly missed her, he simply went to find his son, who was either hanging out in his room, out in the garden or somewhere else in the house, if he was at home. Sollux never bothered talking much during one of his gloomy moods. Without fail, he would pull a protesting Karkat into his arms and hold his son close, who would struggle and complain and cling to Sollux as if he was the only person keeping him from drowning.

 

There were good days and bad days for both of them. When the bad days happened, a grey storm cloud was practically visible above the house, foreboding and ready to unleash rain and wind and hail on the family.

 

On those days, they both simply avoided talking or meeting too much. Because Karkat was a little firecracker and Sollux wasn't always able to put up with him.

 

On those days, Sollux hid in his computer room, working away furiously on one thing or the other. And on those days, fate usually decided to leave him alone.

 

Only that fate knew that Sollux really could use some extra cash because Karkat was finally growing a bit and was in desperate need of a new shirt or two, followed by pants who would be long enough to cover Karkat's mismatching socks.

 

So when the phone call came, Sollux couldn't really say no.

 

\---

 

“...-so that's why we think that you're the right person for this job, Mister Captor! A friend whom you provided that code for, the one for that game... You know the one, a logo featuring a green house! My kid loves it and enjoys the music so much and--”

 

“Yeth. I remember.” Really, Sollux didn't. Probably because by now he thought that the code had been a pile of shit. “And?” A flat, unamused tone.

 

“Haha, sorry, I tend to ramble! The point is, we need someone to make that kind of program for one of our authors. It's kind of a test-project, if it works out, we would appreciate it if you could provide it for all our authors! I'm sure it would make their work so much easier! Imagine not having to sit in front of a screen all day, simply talking when the ideas hit you smack in the face, without having to wait for your writing program to open! It would be revolutionary! Authors who really don't need to write anymore! I'm completely certain they would love it!”

 

For a couple of moments, Sollux fought the incoming headache but the man's bubbly chatter made short work of his defences. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard, digging into your brain and putting the horrible scratching noise right into the most sensitive parts of your mind.

 

Besides, wasn't writing something authors did? Sitting down and thinking things through, maybe changing this or that halfway before grabbing a pen and paper (or in this time and age, probably a laptop) and getting to work. Sollux loved the feeling of being responsible for the lines of code and program making his screens glow, knowing that he was the master of the words and numbers and not some disconnected voice.

 

But... Sollux turned around and looked through the window. Karkat was chasing a laughing John around the garden, looking ready to explode and face as red as a ripe tomato. Meanwhile, the Egbert boy laughed and probably thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

 

Great, dinner would be a 'I hate John Egbert, let me list the reasons why!' affair, complete with flailing arms and kicking legs which would only reveal how much Karkat had started to shoot up.

 

“...Mister Captor? Hello?”

 

“I'm thtill there, Mithter Deuthe. I wath thinking about your offer.”

 

“It's pretty great, right? That's what my boss says!”

 

Ungh. Sollux kind of wanted to smack this man through the phone. Heh, maybe he should invent a device for that... It would make him a very rich man. Enough to pay for all the shitty shirts and pants and socks and movies and books would need to survive.

 

“I'll do it. Jutht give me a few dayth to come up with thomething. Can I get your number tho I can contact you or what?”

 

The guy on the other end of the line positively _squealed_ in delight. “Of course, Sir! This is going to be so amazing, Mister Captor! I can tell! This is going to be the beautiful start of a wonderful relationship!”

 

No. Just no. Sollux wanted nothing to do with overly perky people who seemed to rub him in all the wrong ways.

 

“Thure, whatever. Your number?”

 

Already, Sollux was mapping out several ideas on how to make that program work.

 

\---

 

“--and I have tho many ideath and I can't pothhibly fit them all into one program and it'th going to be amazing, it'th going to blow all of their puny mindth, Dads, you'll thee, I'll make this program work and thothe snooty authorth better be awed or I'll make Karkat bite them in the nothe! And wow, thith ith going to be great and--! Wait, I got a new idea, let me write thith down before I forget about it again. Where'th my pen...? Right right, in my computer room...”

 

“Paul?”

 

“Lucas.”

 

“I didn't think I'd ever have to say this again but I think it's nap-time for our son.”

 

“And here I was, thinking just the same thing. Let me get Karkat so he can lie down on Sollux and work his magical sleep juju. Remember when Sollux could make us pass out simply by curling up on us?”

 

“Those were the days. First, he'd throw the worst fit in the world and then he would wear himself out and crawl on top of you, fall asleep and drool all over your shirt.”

 

A chortled laugh.

 

“Right, I'd almost forgotten about that part. Hey, Karkat!”

 

There were some shuffling noises until the child in question finally poked his head into the living room, looking grumpier than usual.

 

Sollux wasn't the only one who needed a nap.

 

“We held court and reached the verdict that your father needs to catch up on some sleep. We would need your help to pull it off. Are you in, Karkat?”

 

The little boy smiled, all teeth visible save for the empty spot where he had finally lost a tooth last week. He was his father's son when he grinned. “Hell yes.”

 

“Okay, I'm back, finally found the pen. Thorry for running off like that, I thimply _had_ to write it down and it wath really important.”

 

A beat.

 

“Why are you all looking at me like that?”

 

\---

 

Five days later, Sollux, sleep deprived and the beta-program disk tucked into his jacket, found himself standing in front of an impressive wooden door. The house itself looked old and tall and could probably compete with a tiny mansion. He hadn't really been surprised when the address Deuce had given him had led him out of the city and closer to a nearby forest. That's where all the old houses stood, the ones Sollux had always thought to find in a picture of an English countryside.

 

Of course the silly little author who would try out his program would live out here, out in the woods and possibly to _find his inspiration._ Sollux wanted to gag but instead forced himself to ring the doorbell before he would find himself turning around and leaving this oppressive house and it's most likely stuck up inhabitant behind, never to be seen again.

 

Shifting from foot to foot, Sollux waited. And waited. Could this guy possibly take any longer?

 

Oh god, what if it was one of those old guys, who needed ten minutes to finish a sentence and had no clue how computers worked past opening Word or whatever they used and hammering away on the keyboard until the right words came out? Who wouldn't understand anything Sollux would explain and not appreciate the program Sollux had worked very, very hard on. Between working on this project, spending a few quality hours with Karkat and occasionally shovelling some food into his mouth when Karkat dropped a sandwich right on his keyboard, he had maybe gotten two hours of sleep per night.

 

Coffee had quickly become his best friend.

 

And it appeared that the owner of the house had finally found his way to the front door because there was some metal clinking as a security chain was removed and the door opened to reveal

 

Eridan Ampora.

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Thanks but I have no interest in skinny nerds.”

 

For a brief moment, Sollux wondered if he could get away with clobbering Eridan over the head with his mailbox.

 

“Have you finally come to apologize for your son's appalling behaviour? Even asked Fef for my address? I believe I'm supposed to feel flattered now.”

 

“Are you thtill going on about that? The anthwer ith 'No' or 'Hell no' regardlethh, take your pick. If I had known you were the author I'd have to work with, I'd have athked that Deuthe guy to give me a perthon who wouldn't make me want to vomit.”

 

“The feeling is mutual, skinny. I couldn't think of a worse person to work with.”

 

For a few moments, Sollux glared at Eridan and the author glared right back. The air between them was practically crackling with electricity and tense feelings of mutual dislike.

 

“Are you coming in or what?”

 

“Thure, might as well get thith over with ath thoon ath pothhible.”

 

“Your lisp still grates on my nerves. Make sure to keep your mouth shut and just do whatever you need to do.”

 

“I'll do that ath thoon ath your thtop exithting.”

 

Eridan snarled and turned around, stalking into the depth of his house, leaving the door open for Sollux to follow.

 

Which he did, after glaring at Eridan's retreating figure with all the sleep-depraved anger he could muster.

 

Then he took a deep breath and stepped into the lion's den.

 

\---

Aside from the completely ugly pictures hanging from the walls and the occasional knight armour, Sollux had to grudgingly admit that the house wasn't half bad. He been able to catch a glimpse of a library and the huge garden in the back was nothing to wave a stick at. Though the rooms themselves looked as if the person who had them built had been unable to decide between a British style or a French one. There were some stairs leading upstairs to, what Sollux assumed, bedrooms and bathrooms and probably two dozen other libraries and hobby rooms and other places where Eridan could pretend to either be an artist or an architect or whatever else he wanted to be.

 

“We're here. Don't touch anything, those things are valuable and if you break anything, you're paying for it.”

 

Sollux, who hadn't come even close to the various vases around the room and had simply stood in the doorway until Eridan had opened his mouth, rolled his eyes. “Whatever, fithhface. Just thhow me where I can put my thtuff and we're good.”

 

Eridan proceeded to splutter, mouth opening and closing before he gave Sollux an agitated look.

 

“I do not have a fishface! Where did that come from anyway?! You should be grateful you're even in the same presence as a famous author as I!”

 

Sollux was sure his eyes would fall out of his head if he rolled them any harder. “You thtare and gape like a fithh whenever you don't know what to thcreech next. Now, place for my laptop?”

 

Grumbling and half hiding behind his, in Sollux' opinion silly, scarf, Eridan pointed to a table near a window. On another table, Eridan's own laptop rested, violet, just like the streak colouring Eridan's hair. Quickly, the author walked over to it and moved the mouse, revealing the desktop background.

 

For a moment, Sollux was free to stare at the photograph greeting him. It appeared to be a younger Eridan, grinning smugly but happily into the camera, Feferi's arms wrapped around his shoulders, her own grin wide and gleeful.

 

Then Eridan was blocking the view, shutting the computer down before turning back to face Sollux.

 

“We don't have all day, Captor. Get your skinny little ass moving before I kick you out for not doing your work.”

 

\---

 

The process was simple, really, but time consuming. Eridan would read a long list of words for the computer to record while Sollux made sure that Eridan hadn't skipped a word on the list and the program was running smoothly. The program would connect the recorded word to the one on the list and save it into the sea of data. It wasn't unlike a child learning how to speak, only much faster.

 

When they tried the list out again, Eridan's words would sometimes register as gibberish which the computer was unable to recognize, asking for confirmation and further input.

 

Two hours later, Sollux was only half-satisfied with how the program worked and Eridan complained about his dry mouth and how he was doing all the work and how Sollux didn't actually need to be there and that this was a waste of time.

 

Sollux had merely told Eridan to stop acting like a drama-queen and to drink some water before getting back to work, they still had another list to go through.

 

Eridan, brat that he appeared to be, had disappeared off in a huff for half an hour before he returned.

 

In the meantime, Sollux had edited some data, listened to the recording to make _sure_ everything matched and had spent the rest of the time Eridan was gone juggling two games of Solitaire at the same time.

 

Between bitching and moaning and exchanging insults, with Sollux' patience growing thinner and thinner while Eridan's smug, infuriating grin continued to grow, they managed to finish the second list, after which Sollux called it a day because he had to pick up Karkat from school and review the results.

 

On Monday, they met up again, barely civil greetings exchanged (“Morning fishhface.” “Fuck you and the laptop you rode in on.”) and progress was finally being made (“Look, it now recognitheth fithhface ath a word.” and “Did you jutht teach my program how to thay 'Captor ith a peathant and Eridan Ampora ith hith king'?” “And the words appeared on the screen too. Maybe this program doesn't suck half as badly as I thought it did.”).

 

On Tuesday, Eridan asked Sollux if he wanted to drink anything. Sollux had told him to shove it but somehow, the tension between the two of them lessened.

 

Only to reach it's peak on Wednesday. Eridan insisted on working in the list and the recording alone since he finally seemed to have caught the knack of it and Sollux was more than ready to stop playing babysitter for a snooty little author who probably hadn't published any books worth mentioning. But he refused to leave Eridan alone with his laptop without Sollux to sneak an occasional glance at them. Of course, Sollux ended up watching them like a hawk whenever he wasn't preoccupied.

 

Instead of doing what he was being paid to do, Sollux had been directed to take a look at Eridan's computer. The author had complained that it had stopped working properly, was now slow as hell and everything appeared to look a little off.

 

The second Sollux saw the clusterfuck which was Eridan's desktop, he wanted to set the laptop on fire. Or throw it out the window. Or both. Or beat it with a pipe. Or better yet, set it on fire and then beat Eridan with it. This could most likely qualify as laptop-abuse.

 

Instead of saving his documents in folders on the harddrive like a normal person, Eridan had saved everything on his desktop. It looked like a battlezone and oh god, was that Internet Explorer? Why the hell did Eridan have so many tiny tabs and what nots saved? _Why were all those search engines hugging the top of the explorer's window?_

 

He didn't even have proper anti-spyware software.

 

Sollux had never pitied a laptop before but this thing? It deserved all the pity it could get for having such a shitty owner. It wasn't even a bad model.

 

But he could still save it. Make it worth it's price again. Make it stop running at a snail's pace.

 

Sollux cracked his fingers, tuned Eridan out and got to work.

 

Music into the music folder, document upon document found it's proper place, a free anti-spyware program was downloaded to get rid of whatever was making this laptop so fucking slow, Internet Explorer was kicked off and a new, better, safer program installed and whatever looked useless was kicked straight into oblivion.

 

Sollux swore he could almost hear the poor laptop weep out of sheer joy and relief.

 

Grinning, he leaned back to give his eyes a break while the anti-spyware program was still doing it's job until one of the Word documents caught his eye.

 

 _Summoner series?_ The very same series Eridan had mocked? The very same series he had regarded with enough disdain to make a room full of children want to throw their books at him?

 

It was too difficult to resist temptation, especially since Eridan was still preoccupied with the program.

 

Sollux double-clicked on the icon and waited for the document to finish loading.

 

Then he started to read.

 

Three pages later, he started laughing, startling Eridan and making the author make a frustrated noise. “Could you possibly get any louder? And what are you laughing at in the first place?” He squinted at the screen.

 

Sollux had only laughed harder, pointing at the laptop, then at Eridan. “You write thhitty thelf-inthert fictionth to the Thummoner therieth! Dualthcar, really?”

 

Eridan's cheeks went from pale to cherry-red in three seconds flat, standing up so fast his chair toppled over. He strode towards the by now chuckling programmer and loomed over him, slamming his hands down on the arm rests of the chair. He bared his teeth and gave Sollux a look of pure, unadulterated embarrassment and fury.

 

“Out!”

 

“Don't get your pantieth in a twitht, Dualthcar, I wath jutht--”

 

“I don't care! Leave. You're not welcome here right now so I suggest you make yourself scathe before I get really angry!”

 

This was different from all the times Eridan had gotten angry before. He didn't splutter, he didn't flail. No, this was ice-cold fury and thunder. Sollux had managed to strike gold in the shape of a very, very sensitive nerve.

 

Maybe it was petty revenge for the time Eridan had made the worst comment about Aradia but Sollux simply grinned into the face of danger and cocked his head to the side. “Thith thhould be good.”

 

Sadly, Sollux didn't see the fist coming straight for his cheek until he was sprawled out on the ground with a stunned looking Eridan standing above him. The author seemed just as surprised as Sollux that Eridan had actually thrown a punch and the haughty writer stared at his fist in wonder.

 

Sollux' cheek throbbed painfully. He could taste blood in his mouth.

 

With a growl, the software designer aimed a kick at Eridan's legs, sending him crumbling to the floor in a heap of flailing limbs.

 

Sollux didn't bother stifling the snarl before he jumped back into the fray with the intent to give back as good as he had gotten.

 

 

\---

 

“Thith could have gone worthe. Much worthe.” Sollux felt strangely calm. Seeing Eridan's haughty sneer still made him want to shake him until all those feelings of superiority would fall out of Eridan's head but the crooked glasses and swollen cheek made that desire only half as strong.

 

Eridan, who had been shuffling from foot to foot, opened his mouth, quite possibly to make a disdainful remark, until he seemed to reconsider and just nodded, snapping his mouth shut.

 

“Well, yes. Maybe you're not the worst nerd to work with. At least you know what you're doing and you're getting things done without wasting time.”

 

It was quite possibly the first civil conversation they'd had.

 

“See you tomorrow, Sollux?”

 

It was the first time Eridan had used his first name, too.

 

“Thame time ath alwayth. Make thure you have more coffee in thtock, you're almotht out.”

 

Eridan rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Some of us prefer tea. You should try it.”

 

“Been there, tried it. It thucked hardcore.”

 

“You just don't know how to appreciate the flavor!”

 

“Pfff, whatever makes you happy on your little cloud, Ampora. Thee you tomorrow.”

 

The mug Sollux clutched in his hands while listening to Eridan prattle on the next day was possibly filled with the best coffee Sollux had ever had.


	5. Chapter 4

The beginning of Karkat's summer vacation had been marked in the calender with bright red marker and the youngest member of the household had scribbled _HELL YES_ in big, slightly crooked letters all over the page. Sollux' own appointments were written in blue, a small note here so he wouldn't forget to call his parents, a symbol there so he would remember to pick up computer parts he had ordered from the store. A scribbled 'KK' on the first day of summer vacation indicated that it would finally be the day to get Karkat some new clothes.

 

And then there were the days on which Sollux had simply drawn a fish. Karkat had added his own touch to the fish as soon as Sollux had put the pen down, his son standing on his tip-toes and barely managing to boost himself high enough to add a scarf and a pair of glasses to the fish. And a speech bubble which said _I'm an asshole._

 

Sollux had been far too amused to scold Karkat. In fact, he had taken a photo with his cellphone's camera and made it his new background, casually leaving it at Eridan's place the next time he'd been there.

 

The author had never looked sourer when Sollux had come to picked it up after receiving a call about it from the author in question.

 

But after the first few issues, their relationship had... smoothed out. Somewhat. Even on good days, Sollux wanted to set Eridan on fire and Eridan had let him know that he really wouldn't mind finding Sollux drowned or strangled somewhere for him to conveniently find.

 

Working with Eridan had proved difficult and nerve-wrecking at the same time but the results Sollux program had presented him with were the best he'd seen. They were both perfectionists in their own rights so when Eridan complained about the program not working properly, Sollux would usually spend an extra hour fixing whatever was wrong, with Eridan throwing in his own suggestions, even if Sollux told him to can it most of the time. Whenever that happened, Eridan would snarl and grumble and make that stupid pathetic face before wandering off, usually to make some tea to try and appear sophisticated, grabbing a book and waiting noisily for Sollux to fix whatever was wrong.

 

Once, Sollux had found scribbled notes in the kitchen while Eridan had worked on another list and the programmer had decided that his system required coffee and lots of it.

 

His inquisitive mind had always bothered him to no end so Sollux had picked up the notes and read them, leaning against a counter and waiting for the coffee-maker to finish its work. After reading those silly doodles in the Summoner folder on Eridan's laptop, Sollux didn't really have a very high opinion on his writing. It had seemed too wordy, too lengthy and so full of flowery prose and blue curtains and dazzling rays of sun that Sollux had believed he'd never be able to un-read that.

 

But the notes were neat and orderly, in Eridan's crisp and curvy handwriting. There had been no trace of overly long sentences or pages upon pages of emotional distress, no. The notes were short and to the point, neat little rows upon neat little rows about characters, plot lines and the world Eridan was building.

 

It was fascinating and disturbing all at once. Reading those few pages offered a look into Eridan's head Sollux had never been sure he'd wanted.

 

Apparently, Eridan liked water. Sure, Sollux had had his suspicions after catching a glimpse of what must have been an indoor pool but the detail the writer had put into describing the rivers and oceans could not have made it more obvious. He'd focused on the water parts so much, that his notes regarding the landscape had been abandoned halfway through.

 

Shaking his head, Sollux had grabbed a pen and added his own suggestions to the landscape part of the notes.

 

He'd never shared Aradia's love for LARP or had been a fan of fantasy novels or roleplaying games in the first place. It hadn't made much sense to him to get lost in a world where flying without help wasn't impossible, canines became vicious kings and magic and love was the key to everything. But facts he could do. Logic he could do. So that's what he added.

 

By the time he had finished adding his own notes, the coffee had long finished brewing and Eridan was coming to fetch him, judging by the footsteps echoing down the hall. Sollux hadn't bothered telling Eridan about his suggestions and instead had gotten back to work.

 

That day, before he'd left to pick Karkat up from school one last time before the vacation, Eridan had given him a business card. Sollux had snorted and made a couple of verbal jabs at the author before taking it and storing it inside his wallet. It wasn't difficult to guess who's business card it had been, considering script had been in violet and two wave like symbols had been printed neatly onto the corner of the card.

 

Sollux didn't bother telling Eridan that he probably could have had all that information with a computer in a span of two minutes or less.

 

But it had been a hint, something carefully crafted as to not disturb the careful balance they'd built between each other.

 

Something was changing and Sollux couldn't place his finger on it. Was it that he felt less uncomfortable with Eridan? Perhaps it was the knowledge that the time they'd spend working together was limited and being antagonistic towards each other wouldn't get them anywhere.

 

Not that it wasn't fun, getting Eridan incoherent and angry and likewise (even if Sollux didn't like the idea), Eridan seemed to get a kick out of annoying Sollux until he told the author to go and strangle himself. Usually, Sollux didn't take Eridan comments seriously but unfortunately, he'd caught the knack of pressing all his wrong buttons.

 

Sometimes, they spent hours silently fuming at each other.

 

Sometimes, they spent their hours in companionable silence.

 

Sometimes, they exchanged stories.

 

And one day, Eridan had asked about Aradia.

 

-

 

Sollux was working, tapping away on his keyboard and letting his mind drift just enough to know what he was doing but also letting himself relax enough so the knot of tense muscles in his shoulders would hurt less. It was a pleasant, comfortable state, a state which Sollux had grown used to over the years.

 

And of course, Eridan had decided that it was the best time to pop the question.

 

“Your mouthy kid got a lot of your genes, considering his temper and your temper, and the way you both have the same angry frown. But he doesn't have your weird eyes or hair and his skin is tanner.”

 

Sollux rolled his eyes behind his glasses and continued to type. “Ith there a point to your uselethh blabbering about how my thon and I differ? Are you going to athk me from which thhelter I got him? If you are, I thuggetht you thop talking now before you'll find yourthelf with a mouth full of bookth.” He just knew where this was going. And he didn't know how to feel about it. Which was somewhat unusual, he normally brushed the questions off and continued on with his life but somehow, with the questions coming out of Eridan's insufferable mouth, his mind was pulled back from being allowed to drift.

 

Likewise, Eridan rolled his eyes and scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he put the book down in his lap and snuggled deeper into his plush chair but his gaze was alert and curious. “Get a grip on that impatience, nerd. I was going to ask about his mother.”

 

For a couple of seconds, there was nothing but the noise of Sollux' fingers flitting from key to key. “Thhe'th dead. I told you before, remember?” More like shouted it into Eridan's face. Somehow, Sollux had entertained the hope of Eridan not prying about Aradia.

 

Which was now proving fruitless.

 

“Yes, w-well.” Eridan cleared his throat and glanced to the side.

 

A smirk flickered over Sollux' face before it disappeared again. He'd noticed that, whenever Eridan was very nervous about something, he would develop a little stutter, usually when he had to use the letters w or v. Probably a leftover from whatever speaking problems he'd had during his childhood.

 

No wonder he constantly harassed Sollux about his lisp. It was likely it reminded Eridan of his own speech impediment.

 

“You never really talked about her before. And I'm curious. What was she like? A little pest--” Eridan caught himself and quickly sat up straight, pulling his feet from the stool they were resting on while Sollux had ceased typing, frozen and eerily lifeless. “No, no, wait. That came out wrong! I'm sure she wasn't a pest and you w-were actually the pest between you tw-wo!”

 

Slowly, Solux picked up his work again and Eridan took this as a semi-good sign to continue. “All I meant w-was--!” With a short growl, Eridan interrupted himself and cursed under his breath before speaking up again. “All I wanted to do was learn more about her.”

 

Once again, the noise of Sollux typing away on the keyboard ruled the room's atmosphere with an iron fist.

 

Until he stopped and turned around on his chair, arms wrapped around the back and chin resting near one of his elbows.

 

“Her name wath Aradia. I'm not going to tell you the whole thtory becauthe I don't want her to thhow up in one of your thtupid novels and bethideth, thith plot hath been uthed tho many timeth before that it thhould be boring by now.” Sollux paused to give Eridan a sharp, calculating look until the writer nodded. The programmer had kept his voice carefully calm and his face blank “We'd known each other thince forever before we thtarted dating, got married thoon after finithhing High School. KK wathn't thuppothed to arrive ath early ath he did but we managed. Thhe got into an car accident four yearth ago and died in the hothpital.”

 

Only the bare facts. Nothing about how amazing she had been, nothing about how much she had made Sollux heart ache with love for this wonderful, bright woman who had made his life so much better by simply being there. Nothing about how pretty she had looked, holding Karkat and tickling his tummy, how much Sollux had wanted to kiss her whenever she smiled at him. Nothing about the nights spent crying and yelling and looking through pictures, about nights spent sleepless and haunted and filled to the brim with guilt and longing.

 

Nothing about how torn and lost Karkat had looked, standing in front of his mother's grave.

 

It was a storyteller's job to embellish the story with fancy details and heart-rending prose. And Sollux was no storyteller.

 

But Eridan was.

 

It had most likely taken him a lot of time to learn how to read between the lines. How to understand and not just see or hear or mirror.

 

“Sorry.”

 

 _Sorry for your loss. Sorry for speaking like that about your wife before, for insulting her, mocking her. Sorry that I didn't question it sooner and ask you_

 

 _How do you do it?_

 

Sollux shrugged his shoulders and gave Eridan a thin grin.

 

“Don't do it again.”

 

-

 

The weather on those days was always sunny. When Sollux had received the phone call, the sun had beaten down on them mercilessly. When they had buried her body in the ground, they had all been burned by the sun's mocking rays. And the year after the accident, when they had visited her grave on the same exact date she'd died, the weather was clear and sunny.

 

And the year after.

 

And the year after.

 

So Sollux wasn't surprised when he pulled back the curtains for the sun's bright rays to shine right onto his face. Soft footsteps could be heard from Karkat's room and a muffled noise of annoyance let Sollux know that his sun appreciated the weather just as much as his father did.

 

They didn't speak much during breakfaster, nor when Sollux pulled out the new, black suit jacket for Karkat, nor when Karkat tossed the pants aside and decided to settle for black shorts instead. After making sure Karkat wouldn't need any more help, Sollux got ready himself. A black suit, a white dress shirt, a black tie. Neatly cleaned black shoes and his and her wedding rings securely tucked away under his shirt, hanging on a chain. Karkat waited for him in the hallway, holding his own tie out to his father who bent down and got to work quietly.

 

When they left the house, the every day noise of cars and people talking, chatting, laughing, greeted them. But father and son remained solemnly silent as they marched along the road, Karkat's small hand held in Sollux' own.

 

They never took the car on this special day.

 

They ignored the weird looks some people shot them and instead continued on to the cemetery, the old black gate squeaking when they pushed it open together. On the other side, Aradia's father was already waiting for them. Together, they all continued to walk to the pebble stone road, small chinks scratching noisily together beneath their shoes.

 

The sun continued to shine cheerfully, beating down on them.

 

They took a left near the end of the road, stopping at the second to last grave.

 

 _Aradia Captor-Vantas_

 

 _1985 – 2008_

 

 _Step softly, a dream lies here._

 

Carefully, Karkat let go of his father's hand to take the flowers from his grandfather to place them in a vase already filled with water. The grave was kept clean and neat with little to no plants covering the gravestone.

 

For a few moments, all thee stood together and let reality rush past them. For a moment, there was no noise, no sounds, no other people waiting for them.

 

But then that moment passed and Aradia's father and Sollux both stepped away to give Karkat and his mother some privacy.

 

-

 

“He's been growing.”

 

“Like a weed. He'th going to be almotht ath tall ath the other kidth hith age when thchool thtartth again. I wath getting a little worried.”

 

“Yes. I think he'll appreciate his growth spurt.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

The silence settled over them again as they watched the boy, words lost in the distance between them. Despite his recent growth, Karkat looked small standing in front of her grave, shoulders hunched and shaking but there were no tears glittering on his face yet.

 

“He's very strong.”

 

Sollux looked at his father in law but didn't reply.

 

There was no need to.

 

After a while, Karkat wandered back over to them, scrubbing furiously at his cheeks and glaring up at the adults as if daring them to comment. But neither of them did so the child's shoulders dropped and he kept his gaze trained on the ground as his father made his way towards the grave.

 

Sollux swallowed and bent down to place a hand on the stone, brushing some imaginary dust aside.

 

“Hi AA.” His voice was trembling. He forced himself to swallow.

 

“I tell you thith every year and I will continue to do tho until it'th finally my own time ath well.”

 

Sollux closed his eyes and imagined her smiling face looking at him patiently and lovingly, waiting for him to get the words together and his voice under control.

 

“I mithh you. I mithh you tho much. Every morning I thtill think of you, thometimeth, I wake up and believe you'll be downthtairth, waiting for uth to find you. But it'th not going to happen. You're not going to...”

 

For a moment, his voice failed him before he continued in a whisper.

 

“You're not going to come back.”

 

A soft, shuddering inhale.

 

“Watch over our thon. He'th a troublemaker and ith going to need all the protection he can get.”

 

A wet streak on his cheek.

 

“I love you. Alwayth have. Whenever you thmiled or laughed or were thimply around me, the world wath tho much better. I don't think it will ever be the thame.”

 

With that, Sollux pushed himself upright again and turned around, walking away from his wife's resting place.

 

Karkat was mutely waiting for him while Aradia's father walked past him.

 

-

 

Back home, Karkat kicked off his shoes and got rid of his tie as soon as they entered the house and ran upstairs, sniffles giving away that he wanted some time to cry in peace.

 

Sollux sat down on a chair in the kitchen, feeling as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He couldn't stand the silence anymore, needed a distraction, needed to hear some _noise_.

 

So he turned on the radio and let the song wash over him.

 

“...and that was The Mightnight Crew with 'Dissent'. Next up we have 'Eileen' by...”

 

Slowly, Sollux stood up again and walked towards the stairs, leaving the music behind because he could hear his son sobbing loudly, could hear him stomping around his room, in dire need of comfort.

 

Firmly, Sollux locked his own grief away and knocked on Karkat's door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song about to play on the radio is 'Eileen' by The Hush Sound. I'd suggest listening to it, it's basically Aradia's theme in Out Though the Curtain. Thank you for all the comments and kudos. <3


	6. Chapter 5

A parting had always felt strange to Sollux. He had never been the type to cry big fat tears and blubber sadly when working with someone came to an end. Most of the time, he appreciated it ending. He had worked with very bright people before but had also worked with really annoying people and just because someone was a smart and skilled person, it didn't cancel out the fact that they could be annoying bastards at the same time.

Working with Eridan had been a new experience. Sollux had never found himself working with an author before and it had proved to be extremely exasperating and amusing at the same time. The shift from annoying to entertaining often happened in a matter of minutes, a roller-coaster of snarling at each other and indulging the other's moods for the sake of keeping the atmosphere peaceful.

But then the testing of the beta-program was completed and suddenly Sollux realized he wouldn't have any reason to see Eridan again. One part of him wanted to walk into his study and throw a coding-celebration party while the other part of him insisted on feeling wistful and nostalgic.

He'd spent the last evening with Eridan trying to throttle that pitifully emotional part of him, beat it with a stick until it would be unable to even whimper but the imaginary beating hadn't worked in the slightest.

On the other hand, it seemed as if Sollux wasn't the only one out of it that day. Eridan's mood went from smug and mocking to downright grouchy and insufferable. By now, Sollux could somewhat predict his moods and could tell by how Eridan paced back and forth while finishing the last list that it would be easier not to comment or snark at Eridan whenever he stumbled over a word.

However, simply because Sollux knew Eridan's moods, it didn't mean he was willing to tolerate them, especially when he felt agitated himself. He'd excused himself tree times to get more coffee and each time he'd returned to continue their work, Eridan had given him that abused puppy look.

On the occasion he wore that look, Sollux was torn between dumping his coffee all over Eridan and giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

He knew the expression Eridan wore rather well, it was the same one Karkat wore when he got very upset and started yelling at Sollux or his grandparents or even Crabdad. Or anyone who was nearby, really. He would rage and snarl and would refuse any consolation or attempts of affection.

After his fits though, he would always come back and apologize, perhaps not verbally but through small gestures. On really bad days, he would wrap his arms around Sollux' legs and give him an absolutely heartbreaking look before quietly asking if Sollux still loved him.

How could Sollux possibly say no?

Eridan's pitiful displays of remorse didn't require Sollux to hug him and tell him that things would be okay but it did get Sollux to roll his eyes and to set his coffee down so they could focus on their work again.

When they reached the evening hours, Eridan turned oddly quiet but radiated agitation, twisting the silly scarf he insisted on wearing between his hands. Sollux himself couldn't be bothered to openly show his own feelings regarding their last day together but his coffee mug's contents kept disappearing at an alarming rate.

Finally, the last word had been recorded by the program and Sollux was going through it one last time. Eridan nursed his tea and tried to look dignified, sitting primly in the old chair with the high backrest and the plush cushioning which seemed to have been plucked  straight out of the Victorian era.

Too bad Sollux had seen that very same model in some Ikea catalogue two months ago.

Once everything was packed away and the laptop safely secured in Sollux bag, they both walked wordlessly to the front door where Eridan made a grand show of giving Sollux a haughty goodbye after a lengthy speech on how Sollux should keep their time together in good memory because he probably wouldn't get that close to a first-grade author and celebrity (The software designer had snorted at that. Loudly.) ever again. Sollux had only waved him off and swiftly walked to his car, storing his laptop on the passenger's seat. Eridan stood in the doorway and watched the process with a mask of unwavering, smug superiority. But once Sollux had started the car, Eridan knocked on the window. With an impatient noise, Sollux opened the door again.

“What do you want?”

Instead of answering verbally, Eridan thrust a crumpled piece of paper at him.

“I already have your contact information, you clingy fithhface.”

In a fit of pure maturity, Eridan shoved the paper down Sollux jacket.

No yelping or the storm Sollux proceeded to curse up stopped Eridan from looking oddly pleased with himself.

“Deal with it, skinny. I'm just making sure you'll know how to contact me your way.”

“My way? What the hell, Ampora? What do you think I am, thome kind of thenthitive and rare bee?”

“You'll thank me later.”

God, Sollux would give up his laptop for something sharp or blunt right now. He seriously wished to get rid of that shit-eating grin on Eridan's face.

“Go and choke on your thtupid tea, Ampora. I'm really not in the mood for your ugly fathe anymore.”

“Hey!”

Sollux pulled the door shut and ignored Eridan's protests, stopping once he was close to the main street again, finally fishing out the stupid piece of paper Eridan had shoved down his shirt.

 _pesterchum: caligulasAquarium_

He didn't realize he had snorted and was now grinning widely until he glanced towards one of the mirrors and caught his lips curled into an amused smile.

The smile was short-lived and replaced almost instantly by irritation, the paper stuffed into Sollux' pocket and forgotten about for the rest of the day.

Sollux really wasn't in the mood to think about the stupid, egoistical author. Just the mental image of Eridan's stupid straight nose gave Sollux a headache.

When he entered his home again, he found Karkat sitting on the couch, glaring at his father as soon as he made his way to the living room.

There was really only one way to avert the cold shoulder followed by angry yelling crisis which was shaped like his seven-year old son.

“Hey KK, do you want ithe-cream for dinner?”

One of these days, Karkat's horrible case of mood-whiplash would leave his growth stunted forever.

-

The following week was blessedly Eridan-free. No snide voice telling him how much his lisp grated on his godly fishface's nerves, no smell of expensive tea filling Sollux head and making him tired, no library filled to the brim with books.

Instead, Sollux spent time with his son, went to the zoo with him, Karkat instantly dragging him over to the aquatic lifeforms and spending about half an hour watching the crabs until he caught sight of the sharks and pressed his nose as flat against the glass as it would go, eyes wide and lips curled into a blissful smile of childish joy. Seeing his son this upbeat was a rare sight and Sollux cherished it, burned the image into his mind before offering to take Karkat to where the lions were.

They both came home late in the evening, tired and sunburned and Karkat clinging tiredly to Sollux' back like a young koala bear.

Both decided to spend the next day inside to tend to their red skin or, in Sollux' case, to write a report for Deuce while Karkat watched a movie with John in the living room, the two young boys bickering back and forth with John repeatedly comparing Karkat to a boiled lobster.

The sudden onslaught of rain forced father and son to spend another day inside the house, curled up together on the couch, Karkat half-lying on his father while Sollux read the book about a sun  stealing thief to him. It didn't take long for Karkat to pass out, sprawled out over his father, who sighed fondly and settled down for a nap as well.

Until Karkat woke up and tried to get off the couch without disturbing his father, which was simply impossible, mostly because Sollux was a light sleeper and Karkat had the grace and subtly of a dying frog.

A snack and various exchanged barbs later, Karkat challenged his father to a Mario race-off which had resulted into both of them playing various games for the rest of the afternoon, until Karkat started to yawn and complain about being hungry. Chuckling, Sollux had told his son to go and get changed for bed while he would make dinner.

Karkat had a field-day over the Mac 'n Cheese, pulling at cheese strings until they were wrapped around his fingers and he could lick them off.

And for once, Sollux tolerated the mess Karkat made of their table because the days where the child left his overwrought worries behind were far and between.

The autumn heat returned with a vengeance after the first burst of rain and while Karkat was away to spend a day with his grandparents at the circus, Sollux sat down and slaved over the rest of the report, which he promptly sent to Deuce, before throwing himself into his work again. The last couple of days had helped him relax, mind clear and body less drained than it usually felt. The day was productive and quiet and with the assurance that Karkat was in good hands and would return in good spirits almost felt as good as drinking any of that fine coffee Eridan had kept around his house.

Silently, Sollux stared at the screen, fingers hovering above the keyboard, the little line blinking steadily, waiting for the young father to continue his work.

Why was he thinking about the snooty author when his mind had been busy remembering nice events? Eridan had been an insufferable brat of a man. He insisted on meddling whenever Sollux fixed something about the program, pointing out this or that or asking questions and generally making himself out to be a nuisance.

On the other hand, there had also been that time where Eridan had quietly offered Sollux an ibuprofen and a glass of water when he had been suffering from a terrible headache which had plagued him all day long but hadn't said a beep about. Also, when Eridan didn't feel like acting like a complete dick, Sollux couldn't deny that he enjoyed snarking back and forth, making Eridan splutter and growl before the author would get that sharp gleam in his eyes and get his revenge more or less successfully, depending on what he came up with.

Sometimes, Eridan had gotten really bored and grabbed one of his books to read it out loud while Sollux typed away on the laptop's keyboard.

Something about the reading had bugged Sollux at first. He hadn't been able to place his finger on it until he realized that Eridan had slightly improved since showing up at Karkat's school and mangling a very beautiful story, which should have drawn the reader into another world, a world where the Summoner fought alongside his fairy friends and defended them from harm and made the reader feel like he was right at the Summoner's side all along.

It hadn't been the same tone and once, Sollux had slowed his typing to pay attention.

Eridan had been struggling, trying, sometimes repeating a page and stressing different words or trying out a different pronunciation and once, when he Sollux had gone to answer one of Karkat's phone calls, he had returned to Eridan trying out different voices for the diverse characters.

Of course, as soon as Sollux had made his presence known, the author had stopped, sniffed disdainfully instead and put the book down to simmer in his own embarrassment for an hour or two. If there was one thing Eridan was good at, it was being overly dramatic.

Sollux blinked repeatedly and realized his brain had gone on a trip down memory lane again and scowled, shooing Eridan out of his mind and mentally setting a ban on thinking about obnoxious authors while he was working.

Which lasted until Karkat returned and Sollux was faced with a phone call.

-

Sollux really didn't care how many times his parents raised their eyebrows at him whenever Karkat told them they'd had scrambled eggs and fried potatoes for dinner. They were perfectly acceptable in Sollux' books and Karkat hadn't complained about the meals more than he usually did.

And Karkat, a little exhausted by the day he'd spent with his relatives, had even perked up a bit when his father had announced they'd be having the potato/eggs combination for dinner. He'd sat down on one of the chairs, grabbed some crayons and a piece of paper, scribbling on it while he told Sollux about his day.

It was a peaceful affair until the phone started ringing while Sollux was desperately trying to hide the fact that the bottom ones of the potatoes had become charred and black and insisted on playing tanglebuddies with the frying pan.

“KK, could you anthwer the phone? I'm a little buthy here.”

Karkat had never enjoyed being interrupted when he was 'working', just like Sollux when he was spending time coding again. Growling softly, Karkat placed his crayon down, jumped off his chair and went to search for the misplaced phone.

He found it buried in his father's pile of discarded but still functional computer parts, groaning when he had to dig through it. Thankfully, the caller appeared to be a persistent person and didn't end the call after a couple of rings.

With a noise of triumph, Karkat pulled the phone free and quickly answered the call.

“Hello?” And then, remembering his mother's father always lectured him on properly greeting someone, he tacked on a hasty, “This is Karkat Vantas speaking.”

“This is Mister Ampora, kid.”

Oh god. Karkat's face fell immediately, scowling softly and he sat down on the ground. Why was the asshole calling them? He knew that his father had worked with the prig during those last couple of weeks but Sollux had told him they were over and done with that project.

All those weeks, Sollux had come back home tired and irritable and always needed an hour or so until he would have calmed down enough to not get annoyed with everything and everyone.

Karkat had hated those weeks.

“Oh. You. What do you want?” Screw being polite. This guy had ruined one of his favourite series and gotten his father all exhausted and thrilled and unreadable all at the same time.

“Do you use that kind of tone with everyone who calls?”

Ampora was using that snobby tone of voice. Again.

Karkat scowled.

“You're just a special case, douchebag. What do you want?”

On the other end of the line, Eridan frowned and narrowed his eyes at the wall in front of him. He'd almost forgotten how much of a brat Sollux' kid was. On the other hand, how could Sollux have spawned a different kind of child if Sollux himself was the definition of moody?

“To talk to your father. He's available, right?”

“No. He burned the potatoes and is trying to distract me from it by having me answer the phone so I won't think he's a shitty cook.”

“Look, just give him the phone and stop trying to be a smartass. You'll get rid of me sooner and I won't have to listen to you whine at me.”

If Karkat hadn't been fuming before, he was definitely doing it now. “Whatever.” Cursing under his breath, he pushed himself back up again and slowly made his way back to the kitchen. “Bluh bluh I'm Eridan Ampora, listen to me babble on about how awesome I am bluh bluh bluh.”

Eridan's tinny voice reached Karkat's ears even if it was muffled and sounding like it was coming from somewhere further away.

“I can still hear you!” In return, Karkat stuck out his tongue at the telephone.

He could probably end the call and hide the phone inside the couch this time. It would be so easy and save his father and himself a lot of trouble. Eridan could just find someone else to hassle and rub his ego against.

“KK? Who'th on the phone?”

Except that, despite always complaining about working with Eridan, Sollux had been in a better mood than usual in the mornings, hadn't forgotten to fill the fridge with fresh food even once and told Karkat with a smirk on his lips about all the times he'd gotten into an argument with Eridan.

Grudgingly, Karkat held out the phone.

“The author-asshole who thinks he owns the world and then some.”

Sollux raised both eyebrows and took the offered phone, tucking it between shoulder and ear as he tried to save what was left of the potatoes.

“Thup.”

“Why is your son insulting me like that, doesn't he have any manners?”

Sollux rolled his eyes and scraped the surviving vegetables onto two plates.

“Eridan, you ruined hith favourite therieth for him. I'm not going to tell him to get over it or thcold him for inthulting you. If he doethn't like you, thuckth to be you.”

“Yeah, well. He's a brat.”

“Cry me a river printhhethh. Did you just call to complain about my thon'th mannerth? If the anthwer ith yeth then fuck you. If no, get to the point. I don't have all day to lithten to you babble on about how difficult your life ith and how nobody underthtandth.”

The furious noise which crackled through the line made Sollux smirk wickedly and caused Karkat to perk up like as if he had seen his presents waiting under a Christmas tree.

“I need a new computer.”

“Did you finally manage to kill your laptop? I'm thurprithed it lathted thith long with all the crap you had on there. Pleathe tell me you didn't back up your data tho I'll have one more reathon to laugh at you.”

“Fuck you too, Sol! Stop acting like a superior imbecile and help me out!”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Sollux picked up the plates and carried them over to the table, gesturing for Karkat to start eating, finally freeing a hand to remove the phone from it's uncomfortable position. “I'm not going to help you beg for a dithcount.”

“I don't need to ask anyone for a discount! I have enough money to buy the best computer on the market!”

“What'th the point of calling me then? Jutht to bug me? Ampora, you need new hobbieth if you're getting dethperate. I guethh having no friendth doeth that.”

On the other end of the line, Eridan rested his forehead against the wall before thumping his head against it a few times. If anyone was an insufferable prick, it was Sollux Captor.

“I want you to build me a new computer, you freaking twig! And I want it to be the best there is so you better not slack off and get to work immediately.”

Sollux rolled his eyes. Hard.

“What maketh you think I'm willing to put up with you again? I have work outthide of the project we thhared, I wathn't waiting for your phonecall like a damthell, with bated breath and heaving bothom or whatever you had Jothie do in your noteth.”

“Fuck off, those notes weren't for you anyway, you need to stop being nosy!”

“Thtop leaving your crappy noteth everywhere and you got yourthelf a deal.”

“...you'll build me a new computer if I say yes?”

Sollux groaned and started prodding at his food with his fork, giving it a vicious look as he squashed it with the utensil.

“I didn't thay that. I thimply told you to thtop acting like a whiny puppy.”

“Do not take that kind of tone with me, Sollux Captor, or I swear--”

Sollux ended the call with an almost vicious button press, letting the phone clatter on the table before spearing a potato on a fork and giving Karkat a wide grin.

“I give him five minutes.”

Karkat simply scowled at his plate and prodded the abused food with his fork.

“Dad, haven't you been spending a lot of time with his shittyness lately? You just finished working with him and now he's bothering you for who knows what. Probably didn't manage to tie his own shoelaces.”

“KK, do I need to remind you of the time you had trouble tying your shoelatheth, too?”

“Shut up, Dad, that was completely different, that fuckass is a grown man and clings to you as if you're the other half of a magnet! I don't like him.” Karkat crossed his arms in front of his chest, lips curled into such a deep scowl that he had wrinkles between his eyebrows.

Sollux paused and put his fork down. “What do you think I'll do? Yell at you for not liking thomeone? KK, Ampora ith an arrogant athhole, anyone who liketh him mutht be touched in the head. I can barely tolerate him. When we were working together, I wanted to throttle him half of the time. It'th jutht a working relationthhip. He'th not going to thtart hanging around our houthe, if I have any thay about it.”

Karkat shrugged his shoulders slightly before he seemed to make himself smaller, hunched over and eyes focused on the ground. What was he supposed to say? Dad, I think this guy makes you act weird and I don't want him to be around you? His father wasn't that good at picking up subtle emotions and gestures. What if he would forget about his family? What if he forgot about--

“KK, I'm not going to leave you.”

The young boy was startled into giving his father a wide-eyed look, mouth slightly open and confusion swimming in his eyes.

Sollux was wearing an odd smile, looking sad and quiet and acting like a tidal wave, washing all of Karkat's worries away. He stood up and walked to his son's chair, placing a hand on top of Karkat's messy hair.

“I promithed I'd never leave you behind, no matter what. Remember?”

Slowly, Karkat nodded and leaned against Sollux' stomach, glaring at the phone when it started to ring, then stared expectantly at his father.

Sollux merely smirked.

“Let him wait a while longer. He'th not going to athk anyone else and I feel more like leaving him hanging and watching a movie with you. What do you want to watch?”

Desperately, Karkat tried to stifle his wide grin but his lips still curled up into a small, happy smile.

“Tangled!”

“Aren't you thick of that movie yet? You've been watching it every weekend thince it came out on DVD.”

“Who cares! It's a good movie and you told me to pick one, so deal with it!”

Snickering to himself, Sollux let himself get dragged along.

Later, when Karkat was curled against him on the couch, fast asleep and murmuring happily, Sollux stared at the phone.

Picked it up.

And finally called Eridan back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out Through the Curtain has received more lovely fanart <3
> 
> You can find it here:  
> http://zeecatfish.tumblr.com/post/12309899660/kk-what-the-fuck-we-were-supposed-to-eat  
> http://strangerheremyself.tumblr.com/post/12364467206/hey-so-i-gained-a-follower-over-night-and-now  
> http://geolu.tumblr.com/post/13818765125/nothing-to-see-here-move-along-please


	7. Chapter 6

Swiftly, the season changed from the last searing summer heat to the soft golden glow of fall, yellow and red and brown leaves drifting down from trees, painting the streets in autumn's gentle colours. Suddenly, t-shirts had to be packed away, replaced by pullovers and thicker sweatshirts, on the very windy days, Sollux insisted on having Karkat wear a scarf. Between meeting with Eridan and picking out computer parts Sollux had to puzzle together, father and son relieved the raspberry bushes of its last burden, the reddish pink berries soon finding their way either into Karkat's mouth or into glass jars, the red, sticky contents making perfectly delectable jelly.

They had also tried making a raspberry cake though that had ended with the cake getting a little too crisp around the edges, as Sollux and Karkat both had gotten distracted by video games and bickering. In the end, they had invited Sollux' parents as well as Mister Megido to leave neither crumb nor berry of the cake, Karkat grumbling at the end of the day about how he had been promised to never have to eat cake again until Christmas.

Sollux reminded him with a shit-eating grin that Karkat had been the one to eat three slices of the sweet treat and that had shut his son up quickly enough. It had lasted for five seconds before Karkat had begun protesting loudly, little arms flailing angrily as he denied ever having eaten that much, he wasn't like his greedy father, thank you very much.

The father in question had only let his smirk turn a little wider as he sent Karkat to bed.

While dealing with Karkat left Sollux mostly in a good mood, dealing with Eridan and his demands left him exasperated, irritated and in dire need of getting some real work done, instead of indulging some picky author's demands.

Because he let himself get distracted.

Originally, they'd started to meet up to take a look at the computer parts until Sollux found the ones he'd wanted and which Eridan appeared to be satisfied with, even if he did sometimes question Sollux' judgement.

To which Sollux usually replied with a Fuck off, Ampora, the latht time I checked, I wath the one who'th computer didn't explode becauthe there wath tho much thhit on it. Most of the time, this did the job of getting Eridan to shut up.

Unless he pulled a Karkat and started getting angry, at which point Sollux let him rant and ramble while he browsed through the wares and picked out what he thought would prove to be useful.

However, things had changed sometime between the third and forth meeting. Eridan hadn't gone back to his own car and left Sollux to deal with the new parts at home. Instead, he'd led Sollux to a small café and asked him to stay there for a little while, just so they wouldn't have to call each other to talk about the new computer parts, which would inevitably lead to one of them hanging up in frustration.

At first, Sollux had hesitated. Why should he stay and talk to this asshole, who managed to make his hackles rise and ruffled his feathers? But Sollux had never been one to back down from a challenge and Eridan's carefully placed look of disinterest clearly was a challenge. So he'd accepted and they'd spent an hour sitting in the café, Eridan drinking his tea in a painfully dignified manner while Sollux slouched in his chair, scribbling on a napkin about what he had planned for Eridan's new computer. Halfway through, the explanation had been halted by the young father, who stared at the napkin before grabbing a new one and scribbling on it with new-found vigour. Eridan hadn't managed to snap him out of his rush to write the code which had appeared in his mind until Sollux had written most of it down. When Eridan, grouchy and confused, had asked what that had been about, Sollux merely shrugged and went back to explaining why Eridan was better off with this part instead of the other, even if the second was more expensive because expensive didn't naturally mean superior.

Sometimes, they didn't see each other for a couple of days, either because Eridan was finally working on his novel or because Sollux was stuck between building the computer, entertaining Karkat and getting everything his son would need for third grade. And once, in the middle of a phone call, Karkat's football had smashed in through the living room's window and Sollux had spent the next hour having words with Karkat about watching where he aimed that ball and no, he wasn't going to get it back anytime soon, especially not since he broke the window and getting it fixed would cost more than Sollux had planned for the month. With an angry, red face and frustrated tears in his eyes, Karkat had retreated upstairs while Sollux sighed heavily and tried to pick up the shards of what had once been their window.

Unfortunately, Sollux had forgotten to end the call and Eridan had caught most of the argument from his side of the call, oddly subdued when Sollux realized he was still clutching the phone and yes, Eridan had still been on the other line. The author hadn't brought it up, strangely enough, instead he had brought Sollux back on track by picking up their conversation where they had left off.

Karkat had come downstairs again later, carrying the sock in which he kept all his savings, wordlessly offering it to his father while wearing the patented remorseful look every child mastered sooner or later. The young boy had looked earnest enough, however, so Sollux had shaken his head and told Karkat he simply wouldn't get to watch TV for a week. He knew Karkat saved whatever money he got for the movies he loved so much and the occasional game so not getting to watch any TV or play any games was punishment enough, in Sollux' opinion.

Soon, Karkat started to complain about summer vacation ending before it had even really begun but when the first day of school rolled around again, he'd been up early and bright and woke Sollux up by trying to make breakfast for them both. The father had remained in his bed, smirking to himself and pretended to be fast asleep when Karkat peeked into his room to check and see if he'd woken his father up.

Half an hour later, Karkat carried the tray upstairs an set it down on the ground before crawling under the blanket and sticking his ice cold hands under the shirt Sollux wore.

This clearly meant war.

A rushed hour of getting jelly out of their hair and finally getting some eating done later, Karkat was disappearing into his classroom, slipping into the seat behind John while Feferi watched her young charges with a wide smile on her face, which only grew when she caught sight of Sollux. Swiftly, she made her way over to him and handed him a paper.

Sollux raised an eyebrow at the cheerfully bright reddish violet font, eyeing the teacher over the rim of his glasses.

“Does the headmathter know you were going to uthe thith font colour, FF?”

She gave him a wide grin in return and raised a finger to her lips. “What he doesn't know won't kill him. He really needs to cheer up too, always getting stressed out over this and that! Besides, it's my favourite colour and none of the parents or children has complained when I used it before. So anyway, Karkat will be coming, right?

“FF, give me thome time to actually read what thith ith all about. For all I know, you could be trying to turn Karkat into fithh fodder for thothe monthterth you keep ath petth.”

“Stop calling them monsters, they're just little fish who need a home and they're really pretty to look at, too! Very colourful!”

Sollux side-eyed the teacher, who was bouncing up and down gleefully, obviously lost to the memory of the aquarium she had at home.

“They kill each other, FF. They eat each other and I wouldn't call that cute.”

Feferi stopped her bouncing to give Sollux such a wide grin that he was sure her cheeks were going to fall off.

“Neither would I. In any case, just make sure Karkat brings the permission sheet along tomorrow so I'll be able to see who will and won't come. I'm sure he'll have a glubbing good time!”

Somehow, Sollux doubted that. Class excursions always led to Karkat coming home with a had full of trouble and a fist full of anger. Thankfully, he had been getting better and better at taming his short temper.

And it was just a trip to a nearby Japanese garden (or what could pass as Japanese garden to everyone but the Japanese themselves) and Feferi would surely bring a few teachers or others along to help her keep an eye on the kids.

“Thure, whatever. He'll go. Though keep thothe upper-clathh kidth away from him, he reactth to them like fire to gath and I don't want to thee more crying motherth thobbing over their poor, poor babieth for getting an earful of Karkat-rage. In fact, thothe preciouth little bratth can go and ch--”

“Sollux.” Feferi's voice was a warning and a reassurance all at once.

Grumbling, Sollux settled down again and stuffed his hands into his jacket's pockets, glancing past the teacher's shoulders to give Karkat a small wave.

“Yeth yeth, thtop being tho pethhimithtic, I know. I'll be going now, he'th already thhooting me hith 'Dad, you're embarrathhing me' look.”

“Tell Eridan to stop moping around and to call me, I have something to discuss with him.”

The pure energy behind Feferi's smile could probably have kept an small town supplied with power for at least a year. And how did she even know about them working together from time to time, Sollux hadn't told her-

Oh. Of course.

Ampora.

“That guy can go and die in a ditch for running hith mouth ath much ath he doeth.” The day the author would shut up and keep his mouth closed about something would be the day Sollux would throw out all his old but very well-loved computer equipment. And since Eridan would never understand when and how to shut up, that day would never come and Sollux would be able to keep his treasure all to himself.

“He likes talking about you!” Giggling, Feferi tilted her head to the side while Sollux turned around started to make his way down the hall.

“Hey, don't forget to tell him, okay? This is important!”

Sollux raised a hand in the universal gesture of I'm going to do it but I'm going to be a terrible grump about it.

Pleased, Feferi started humming a tune under her breath and walked into the classroom to introduce the new students to the children.

\---

The day of the excursion arrived swiftly and painlessly, Karkat hadn't even complained about it. Instead, he'd spent his first week of school in a semi-calm mood, telling Sollux stories about the new teachers he had seen around school, had even been able to identify one of the student-teachers as one of their neighbours. Nepeta Leijon had taken to the young, grumpy boy almost instantly when they had first met about a year ago, she teased him relentlessly when Karkat was in a bad mood and never seemed bothered by the tongue-lashing she received afterwards. Her room mate had been very offended at Karkat's language but Nepeta had simply laughed it off and told him not to think about it too much.

And now that she was one of Karkat's teachers, she had even more time to spend on watching Sollux' son. Sollux would have been worried about Nepeta being more... friendly than necessary if he hadn't gotten to know her as well as he had. Her cheerful and caring disposition was always directed at those she liked and it was obvious by the barely-veiled fondness in her eyes that Karkat reminded her of her little brothers, of whom she had four but lived in a different state. She missed them terribly and Karkat, despite disliking physical contact from strangers, had not ended up yelling at her when she had seemed really down and pulled the boy into a brief hug without warning.

What mattered more was that she was one of the three adults, aside from Feferi, to tag along on the excursion and she would be able to calm Karkat down if his temper exploded for one reason or another, mostly because she knew that behind all the yelling, Karkat was upset or worried or happy. His temper was his shield and weapon and she had been clever enough to figure that out soon after meeting him.

With the knowledge that Nepeta would keep an eye on his son, Sollux dropped Karkat off at school, reminding him to keep an eye on John, mostly because it would keep Karkat busy and keep him from getting approached by older students who seemed to relish in Karkat's temper tantrums.

And the young Egbert boy was a vicious little firecracker beneath all those buck-toothed smiles and cheerful laughter.

There was no need to worry. Everything would be just fine.

\---

Karkat had, as a matter of fact, been looking forward to this trip ever since it had been announced. It meant spending less time pouring over which note was called what and generally, music scores made his head hurt. He had no talent for music whatsoever, past listening to someone else play and enjoying it most of the time. Other kids in his class were more musically gifted, like John and the Lalonde girl he liked to talk to and two of the new students had taken to the music class like fish to water. Or his father to a computer.

No, Karkat enjoyed drawing far more and had a knack for it. While others struggled with art as Karkat himself did with music, the young boy rarely had any problems with it, enjoyed it, revelled in it, as a matter of fact. He liked how the colours melted together, how mixing red and yellow  created orange and how the shades would change depending on his much red or yellow was added.

Red and yellow and orange were his favourite colours.

And that was why he had been looking forward to the trip. Miss Peixes had shown them a couple of photos to convince those who had been unwilling and Karkat had been in awe over the glaring red, bright yellow and soft orange leaves scattered around the trees, their crowns a mass of golden colours with specks of green. One glance and Karkat had fallen in love with the sight. Another glance to John confirmed that he was just as excited about this as Karkat, mostly because John got a kick out of it when the wind would send the leaves dancing along wet grass paths, leaving the pair of friends red-nosed and cold and filled to the brim with awe and peace.

The idea of getting to enjoy the display of colour for himself had been stuck in Karkat's head for the rest of the week, reaching its peak when they were all finally getting ready for the trip. It was going to be glorious and Karkat was personally going to see to it that no one would ruin this day for him. If any of the assholes from the upper class would decide to bug him today, he would probably bite their heads off and not give a single fuck.

It was going to be his day. His memory to keep as a silent treasure in his heart forever, something he would only share with his mother and maybe his father and

Eridan Ampora was standing in the hallway, looking impatient and as snobby as ever.

Shit.

Karkat wanted to scream while Feferi introduced him again and told everyone the author would be joining them on this trip to help out since they had decided they'd need one more person to try and keep an eye on the young children. For a second, he contemplated walking straight back into the classroom and sulking until his father would come and pick him up because there was no way in hell this was going to be an enjoyable trip anymore. Not with this... this novel-ruining fucker coming along. This was going to stain the memory of the perfectly enjoyable trip. This was going to suck, Karkat could tell.

But then he caught Eridan's eye and stuck out his tongue at the author who blinked once, twice before frowning and looking in another direction, shifting from foot to foot before bending down to help one of the other kids put on the wool-hat properly, returning the child's beaming smile with a soft smirk.

Karkat narrowed his eyes at Eridan as he pulled on his own scarf. He didn't like the stone which had decided to settle in his stomach.

Something would go terribly wrong today, he could tell.

\---

For the most part, Karkat avoided Eridan as if the author was the plague itself. In the beginning, Eridan had tried to talk to him. Karkat had kept shooting him glares and given short answers and then told Eridan to go and bug someone else.

The tension between them had been incredibly thick after that little exchange and while Eridan opted to stay near the front with Feferi, Karkat stayed at the back, hands shoved angrily into his jacket's pockets, eyebrows drawn together and cursing up a storm inside his head. Next to him, John was talking to that new Jade girl, both smiling happily and chatting away together, not bothered in the slightest that they were both talking at the same time. Dear God they were giving him a headache and wasn't that just the pickle on top of his crappy day sandwich? When they finally reached the bus he had to take, Karkat quickly scampered off to sit in the far back, arms crossed over his chest and watching Eridan like a hawk.

If someone were to ask him why he disliked Eridan with such a passion, Karkat would probably give that person a pointed look and say have you actually tried talking to that guy for five minutes? No? Go on, do that and then you can ask me again. Everything about Eridan made his hackles rise, from his posture and how he carried himself to how he seemed to have taken a liking to his father. It wasn't that Karkat disliked every single one of his father's friends. In truth, he got along with almost all of them but Ampora had waltzed into their lives and stuck around, horrible and as persistent as a bad tumour which would simply not go away and slowly sap you of your life, your energy. Because that was exactly what Eridan had been doing, wasn't it?

Something had changed about his father once he started working with Eridan. There was a constant wrinkle between his father's eyebrows and he always came home frowning and looking tired and often started to forget about little things around the house. Karkat hadn't said anything because his father had looked as if he was burdened and busy enough as it was. He caught less sleep and worked more and the first few days, Karkat had been sure Sollux would just break apart, would break all his bones from the impact of crashing into reality. So he stayed quiet and watched and observed.

Then, near he end of the first week, the tension had left his father's shoulders. He still got home looking as if his brain had transformed into an angry grey storm but he seemed to be enjoying himself more. Almost, Karkat started to regret feeling such seething anger towards the shitty author and contemplated letting the 'Asshole who is getting my father so twisted up into tiny knots that he can't relax and ruined my favourite novel for me' ascend to 'Just ruined my favourite story.'

Until the sight of the bruise blossoming on Sollux' cheek had nearly given Karkat a heart attack.

He had demanded answers but Sollux had given him that infuriating grin Karkat wanted to be able to do as well one day. He then proceeded to explain that things had gotten a little out of hand but that he had given as good as he had gotten and working with Eridan would still be hell but at least they'd established something. What that something was, even Sollux didn't look quite sure of.

Karkat didn't like that something. Not one bit.

And then the day came on which Eridan had been around when Sollux had picked Karkat up from school, probably to chat with Feferi about his next live reading. That had been the day Karkat had noticed the way Eridan looked at his father. He was just a child, seven years old and still the shortest guy in his class with the shortest temper and the sharpest repertoire on how to cuss someone out but he was not blind. He had seen that look plenty of times in movies, when the lead actress would look at the lead actor and sigh wistfully and maybe burst into a song about her heartache later.

He had seen it whenever Sollux picked up the picture frame which held a photo of all three of them, Aradia fresh out of the hospital, holding Karkat in her arms while Sollux had wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Sollux' lips would curl into a wistful smile and sometimes, he would trail his fingers over the glass before setting it back down with utmost care.

It was Karkat's favourite picture.

And now Eridan was taking that look his father had reserved for his mother and twisted into something Karkat did not comprehend. He did not want Eridan to look at his father like this. Not like he wanted to take Sollux and shake all those weird moods (those on which he would disappear into his computer room for hours) out of him and then hug him close and keep him there for as long as he could.

Thankfully, neither Sollux nor Eridan seemed to be aware of the puppy eyes the author was shooting Karkat's father but the young boy was. And he would gladly have given anything to make the stare disappear forever.

Heartbreak was a horrible, ugly thing. Karkat had been young when his mother had died, too young to remember all the details as he grew older. But he knew, remembered how his fathers shoulders had shaken, trembled as he sobbed in the dark of his bedroom, unaware that Karkat was peeking in through a crack in the door. His strong, proud father who was moody and only tolerated bullshit in small doses had been crying as if his world had ended and in a certain way, it had.

The picture of his father hunched over and weak and so utterly homeless without his mother to soothe the fears away had burned itself into Karkat's mind. He remembered trying to comfort his father, seeking comfort for himself as well because they both needed it like a drowning man needed air but Sollux had pushed Karkat away, away and into a corner. He'd ignored him, thrown himself into a free fall, a cascade of work and sleepless nights. A flow of days on which his son was merely a bystander, a ghost and a reminder.

Karkat had never felt so alone and abandoned and scared.

He did not want to deny his father any happiness. In fact, there was nothing more Karkat wanted than for his father to smile.

But he was also afraid. Afraid of things spiralling out of control, out of his grasp and understanding and that he would be left alone again, left behind and forgotten like a fading photograph and nothing more than a fickle memory in the back of his father's head. And wasn't that going to happen if Sollux found someone again? If his father found someone again and that person broke his heart and would leave him in shambles all over again? What if Sollux wasn't going to heal this time?

No. It wasn't going to happen. Karkat was going to protect his father just like Sollux was always protecting him, just like John kept his father out of trouble and how John's father always made sure to be there for his son.

Eridan was not going to break his father's heart.

\---

Keeping an eye on Eridan the whole afternoon was tiring and boring and if Karkat had to listen to him prattle on for one more minute, he was going to do himself a favour and shove one of his pencils so far into his ear that he would go deaf. That surely couldn't be worse than Eridan rambling on and on about his difficult it really was to be an author and how terrible it was to be a good author and a good looking one at that, really, it was a wonder that he didn't have to hire a bodyguard to keep his fans away from him yet.

Karkat suspected it was because Eridan's novels were actually shitty and people only published it for shits and giggles and for those who had time to kill while waiting around on airports or the planes themselves.

So half-way through the afternoon, Karkat had ditched Eridan's shadow and wandered off to do his own thing instead. And it wasn't as if it was impossible to overlook Eridan or overhear the author's annoying voice anyway, it was loud and sounded so overly important it was difficult not to laugh at it.

Moreover, leaving Eridan to ramble Feferi's ears off finally gave Karkat the opportunity to enjoy the gentle weather, the sun's light warming Karkat's red cheeks and making the whole park glow. It was glorious and pretty and Karkat vowed to talk his father into visiting this place again. Seeing this park was different from what he was used to, everything well kept and orderly with tiny, curved fences and pebblestone paths. Maybe the sense of order was what made this park seem so bright. Karkat's favourite colours were all around him, cradling him close and spinning tales of light and rain for him. It was breathtaking and magnificent and Karkat didn't try to prevent the atmosphere from soothing his worries.

His mother would have loved this place.

Carefully, Karkat picked up several leaves, each one in the in the warm colours he enjoyed so much, quickly pulling a book out of his backpack and tucking the leaves away between the pages. The next time they would visit Aradia's grave, he would leave them there for her. The graveyard was a dark, grim place, solemn colours of grey and ash. She would have appreciated little splotches of colour to drag her out of the monochrome world.

Satisfied, Karkat slipped the book back into his backpack and got moving again. They'd been given free reign of the park, as long as they stayed within sight of one of the adults and never strayed from the paths which wound a circle through the park to lead everyone back to the starting point. Here and there were benches and some kids had settled down on them and were devouring their lunches. Karkat had no intention of joining them. If everyone was busy stuffing their faces, it meant no one would come to bug him with questions or demands or other little annoyances. Sometimes, Karkat wondered if he had a GOT ISSUES? COME BOTHER ME! tattooed on his forehead because at one point, every single one of his classmates had decided he or John were the go-to guys for when they had problems.

On the one hand, it made Karkat want to beat all of them up with Crabdad but on the other hand, he liked that they looked at him for guidance. They trusted him and Feferi seemed to appreciate that Karkat usually listened to their troubles after the obligatory bomb of curses.

But now the little nuisances were busy and Karkat free to explore by himself. For a while, he simply followed the winding path up a small hill so he could overlook the area. The park wasn't overly big, a lake taking up almost half of the entire area, with two bridges leading to a little island in the middle of the lake. It didn't look very deep. Karkat probably wouldn't have been able to stand in it but the water probably went the an adult's chest, maybe higher. He wasn't really sure.

But the lake looked pretty, with leaves floating on the surface and a fish coming up to eat an insect here and there, with the last couple of ducks swimming through the water, leaving soft ripples in their wake. For a few peaceful moments, Karkat allowed himself to take it all in, to watch the time pass by, to simply be before he fell into the usual slouch and made his way to one of the bridges.

Mostly because something or rather someone, had caught his eye.

It was the third of the new students and was an enigma to Karkat, a puzzle.

Gamzee Makara had left an odd first impression on everyone, including Miss Peixes, who had kept an worried eye on him ever since. Karkat would have pegged him as a dreamer, someone who had his head up the clouds all the time and a constant smile painted on his lips, which would widen if he spaced out. Which happened quite often. Despite the fact that Gamzee was taller than most of the other children in Karkat's class, he never loomed over them, he never let the fact that he was taller than the other get to his head. He was tall and skinny and enjoyed drawing just as much as Karkat did. He had looked incredibly frustrated to have a very limited supply of crayons but had easily improvised in a way which had captured Karkat's attention. Gamzee was a master of mixing colours together and he enjoyed fingerpaint, which Miss Peixes had given them all to draw on the classroom's windows.

But beyond that, Gamzee was a mystery. He never talked about himself, he always let other children talk his ears off and added to the conversation with various comments but he never really contributed any experiences of his own.

And not once had Karkat seen Gamzee's father. What he had caught a glimpse of was Gamzee's back when he walked along the pavement, away from school, hands in his pockets and an odd grace in his steps.

Now Gamzee was leaning over the railing, watching the fish gather and flit away whenever he shifted. From where Karkat stood, he could make out the wide, wondering on Gamzee's lips as the older boy pulled himself up to get a closer look at the water, legs balancing out his upper body while he kept a firm grip on the railing.

“Hey idiot, you're going to fall in if you keep that up.”

Gamzee's gaze wandered from the water to Karkat, his lips curling into a wide, lazy smile as he shifted his balance until his feet were firmly planted back on the ground.

“What's up, my friend? Here to enjoy the miraculous gathering of fish as well?”

Karkat rolled his eyes and came to a stop right next to the other boy. “They're only coming to you because they think you're going to feed them. That's not a miracle, it's dumb fish thinking with their stomachs and acting on instinct.”

Gamzee gave Karkat a surprised look, mouth falling slightly open before his lips curled into the constantly present smile as he gave a slow nod. “Makes sense. Seems like it's feeding time for just about everyone, too.”

Karkat watched him take a look around before following his gaze. The other children of his class were still gathered in small groups and busy eating whatever food their parents decided to prepare for them. The young boy shrugged before giving Gamzee's shoulder a small nudge to re-capture his attention. “I'm sure almost all of them are eating sweets and cake and shit because their parents forgot about the trip and had to throw in some last minute food. Unless you're Egbert's father. Cake is all they ever have in that household. No wonder John always acts as if he's getting paid to be annoying as shit!”

Laughing, Gamzee leaned back against the railing and gave Karkat a curious look. “But cake and pies are miraculous as hell, bro. You just don't get to eat it every day which makes it even sweeter and it tastes really good. Makes a brother all happy. If John wants to be happy about getting cake, he should.”

With a silent snarl, Karkat crossed his arms over his chest and glared to the side. “I don't want to see cake again in the near future. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.” After a small pause, he frowned and looked at Gamzee, who had tipped his head back to stare at the sky, eyes wide in awe. “What about you, did your parents decide to stuff your pockets with candy for this trip?”

Gamzee blinked lazily and shook it head, tipping it back a bit further to stare upside down at the lake. “Nah. Dad was too busy to remember the trip this morning. All apples and grapes is what my food is made of. Pretty sweet if you ask me.”

Karkat stared blankly for a minute before his eyebrows knitted together so hard that quite a few lines appeared between them. “So what, all you had today was an apple or two and a handful of grapes?”

A nod.

“Fuck that. I'm going to Egbert and steal some of his cake and then you can have the miracles or shit. Don't move, I'll be right back.”

“That's motherfucking kind of you, bit-sized friend.” Long, thin arms wrapped around Karkat's shoulders and before he knew it, he'd been pulled into a drowning hug by Gamzee. With a yelp, Karkat struggled and pushed the new student away, bristling and scowling and looking like a red-cheeked little ladybug. “You can't just hug people without warning, asshole! What the hell?!”

Blinking, Gamzee tilted his head to the side. “You can't? Shit bro but hugs are pretty good. I give my best friend hugs all the time and he doesn't complain. But whatever floats your boat, dude. Go and ask the cake-kid if he's willing to share his treasure with us. I'll wait here.”

“Don't wander off, Gamzee! I don't want to come back and you're in a completely different part of the park just because the ducks told you to go there or something. Stay. Right. Here. Don't move. Don't even think about going somewhere else. If you do, I'll feed the cake to the fish or just dump it somewhere. And then you won't experience any of that miracle crap you seem so fond of today. Deal?”

With a soft snicker, Gamzee gave a half-hearted salute and nodded at Karkat. “As the little dude commands.”

Cursing colourfully under his breath, Karkat whirled around and stomped along the bridge. Why did he even bother?

\---

“Mister Ampora!”

Eridan had about a tenth of a second left before tiny but oddly strong arms wrapped themselves around his legs, a wide, happy smile beaming up at the author. Why the child had decided to latch on to him after fixing the kid's hat before leaving, Eridan had no idea. Not that he really minded, giving off a good impression now might compel the child to buy his books later or the boy could tell his parents about the nice guy their kid had met today and question Feferi about this kind and handsome gentleman. She would then proceed to tell them about one glorious author and in their grateful glee, they would buy all his books. And tell their neighbours about this magnificent author their son had met. Being so famous was quite difficult indeed, a burden. But a burden Eridan would gladly bear because it filled his pockets with money and his chest with praise.

It felt good to be important. It felt good to be acknowledged and liked and having someone stare at you in awe and Eridan was worth every single drop of attention.

The small arms giving his legs a squeeze reminded Eridan that he had a child to deal with.

“Yes, what is it?”

“I don't have any tissues with me and my nose is running!”

Oh dear God. It was running, alright. Perhaps flowing like a river was more accurate, however. And the kid was getting snot all over his pants. Gross.

“What do you want me to do about it?” There was a slight sniff of disdain in his voice and from her spot near a group of children, Feferi gave him a warning look over the rim of her reading glasses. Eridan frowned at her. That woman probably knew who was going to win the next football match, considering the fact that she was sticking her nose everywhere and into everyone's business.

“Do you have a tissue you could spare, please, Mister Ampora?”

Eridan gave a long suffering sigh and dug one of the packets of tissues out of his pants pocket, handing it to the young boy, his eyes quickly flickering to the child's surname, which had apparently been stitched on his jacket. Not dumb. If the silly boy got ever lost in a shopping center, at least it wouldn't be difficult for anyone to find him again and bring him back to his parents.

“I now dub thee, Mister Mayor, Knight of Tissues. Now blow your nose and go back to your friends, Petra keeps giving you those looks and when ladies give you those looks, you're really not supposed to keep them waiting.”

Laughing, the child grabbed the tissues out of Eridan's hand and rushed back to the small circle of friends.

Eridan sighed again.

Taking care of children was really a challenge, no wonder Feferi always looked tired when weekends rolled around. Not that Eridan had been able to convince her to give up her job, someone with her education and social background could have easily gotten a better, far less stressful job. But Feferi always told him to mind his own business when he'd brought it up so after a while, he simply had stopped pestering her about it. And watching her interact with the children made Eridan understand again why she valued her job so much.

They made her smile.

Once upon a time, Eridan had been the only one who'd been able to get her to smile. They'd met when they'd both been children, just entering middle school. Feferi had tried very hard to find friends who would look past the fact that she was the daughter of a very famous mother but the other children in their private school apparently hadn't found anything about Feferi they liked.

But Eridan had. He'd seen how bright her smiles were, how she wasn't deterred from her plans to become someone more... plain than her mother had in store for her, how she never stayed down when she fell and marched on. Young Eridan Ampora had fallen in love with her the first time he'd laid his eyes on her and if no one wanted to talk to the energetic little Miss Peixes other than himself, it would be their loss, not his. In his spare time after class, he would fill his notebooks with doodles and little stories of when they would get married and how he would be a famous doctor or actor or better yet, President of the United States and how she would be the prettiest, most loving wife who would tell everyone about her breathtaking husband. She would cherish him when others would not and he would treasure her like an expensive jewel where others would only see a dulled gemstone.

Only that things hadn't worked out that way. Feferi had never felt anything more than friendship for Eridan and when he had confessed to her, she had politely turned him down.

Young Eridan's ego had not taken that well. His dreams of them living a perfect life together had been smashed to pieces and yet he couldn't accept that she had turned him down. He had started to become pushy. Clingy. Jealous and possessive and a nightmare for her to have around, Eridan understood that now. But back then, he had gotten angrier and angrier whenever Feferi rejected his advances and at one point, she completely stopped talking to him, avoiding him and never returning his calls.

It had been terrible.

These had been very difficult months, months of Eridan wondering what he had done wrong, why she would reject him when they were obviously perfect for each other, why she just couldn't see it? He'd cried and raged and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life mourning what could have been.

Only that it had not happened. Somewhere between crying, yelling and what-if's, he had started to heal. Eridan's heart had stopped giving painful pangs when Feferi was around, he could look at her and feel something other than betrayal and hopelessness. He would look at her and see someone who would support him, someone who he could talk to when he needed to, someone to hold close to soothe her worries away. Not a lover. A friend, a cherished, honest and understanding friend.

He'd approached her then, after school, shoulders tense and trembling and voice quivering slightly with the fear of losing her forever.

Sweet, wonderful Feferi had laughed and given him the widest smile.

”I glubbing missed you, Eridan!”

She had been the first to learn about his new found appreciation for other men, he had been there to comfort her when her mother had had another fit over Feferi's future-job, even if Eridan had silently agreed that she could do so much better than a primary school teacher. The world was open to her and she choose that, of all things.

It was only much later that he realized that yes, Feferi could have done everything in the world but being a teacher was what she had actually wanted< to be.

“You look as if you're drowning inside your own head, Eridan.”

The author rolled his eyes and turned around to face his best friend. “More like I was about to drown in kid-snot. How do they even produce that much, there is no way this... avalanche is stored in their noses, just waiting for autumn to roll around.”

Feferi laughed and stuck her tongue at the grimace her laugher had drawn out of Eridan.

“You'll have to get used to it, if you're going to keep reading books to the children. I know you've been practising but I know at least one young boy who wouldn't be satisfied with it.”

Feferi's eyes were fixed on the young boy in question, who appeared to be half talking, half tackling another kid, who jumped up and hid behind the bench. The laughter sent a couple of startled birds scattering while the merry sound drifted over to the adults.

Eridan watched the fuming, angry boy dive over the bench to wrestle his friend to the ground.

“Karkat is a little pest and will never be satisfied with anything I do, ever. It's not my fault he can't appreciate how much more character, how much more life I can breathe into the plot and heroes. He's just like his father, they don't have any appreciation for the fine art of reading books.”

Rolling her eyes, Feferi nudged her elbow against Eridan's side. Hard.

“Stop being such a downer! You told me things had been going better between you and Sollux!”

“Well...”

Eridan wasn't even sure if he had the words to describe how said things were between himself and Sollux.

The man was... difficult, a headache, unpredictable and moody, he had those episodes on which he would ignore the world around him, ignore Eridan, just to do whatever silly notion his brain had come up with. He had those little smirks that would send Eridan spluttering and snarling angrily, was a perfectionist who didn't like it when anyone critiqued his work. Twice, Eridan had come close to giving in to the urge of clobbering Sollux over the head with his laptop to put them both out of the misery of having to work together.

Eridan's first impression had thus been that one Sollux Captor was completely batshit insane.

Remembering their first conversation still made him scowl. The insufferable, infuriating father hadn't even pretended to be sorry. He'd straight out told Eridan what he thought of his work, of his reading and where he wanted the author to shove his smug asshole act.

So when Deuce had called him about working together with this computer expert called Sollux who'd developed a new software for them, he had agreed. Feferi had ended up telling Eridan all about the father and son who had made a fool out of him after bugging her about it endlessly. This had been a chance, his chance to prove that he was far better than Sollux, that the man had been mistaken about his work. He would be in awe of Eridan's prowess, he would stop looking at him with the disinterest which would made Eridan's blood boil.

It had been a matter of pride. Sollux had issued a challenge and challenges were difficult to ignore.

Eridan had wanted Sollux to respect him. He wanted Sollux to respect him, respect and appreciate his work and then Eridan would have been quite happy if he never had to see Sollux again.

Or so he thought, in the beginning.

Only that Sollux' stupid little lisp had started to grow on him. Eridan had noticed those little dimples whenever Sollux smirked, had noticed how the man would chew on his bottom lip if he was deep in thought and how he would give that pleased laugh whenever he got Eridan riled up.

Whenever Sollux scowled or talked or gestured or complained or sat there quietly, Eridan's stomach gave an almost painfully soft little flutter. When the man would turn around to stare Eridan down, whenever he would sneer and they would start arguing, Eridan's heart soared because he knew, in that single moment, Sollux' attention was focused on him and him only. No sons or ex-wives or other people walking around in Sollux' head. In those moments, their world consisted of them and only them.

The author soon knew how Sollux liked his coffee by heart (Black, with half a teaspoon of sugar), knew what Sollux' car sounded like, knew when Sollux needed a break by how his shoulders would grow more and more tense.

Suddenly, Sollux was in his home and in his head and Eridan Ampora, a more famous than average author, was very, very frightened. Because this man, who had insulted his work, his life, his person, this skinny man who took his life and turned everything upside down, had managed to worm his way into Eridan's heart. The number of people Eridan dearly cherished and kept close to his heart was very, very limited but somehow, Sollux Captor had managed to insert himself into the numbers without Eridan taking much note of it.

The realization had hit him hard at one in the morning. Feferi had been the one to take the brunt of his incoherent babbling, tired and cranky at being called this late at night, half-dozing, half-listening while Eridan talked on and on and clutched to the phone as if his life depended on it.

He was attracted to a stupid little computer nerd with a lisp and a son and a dead wife. A man who probably didn't even like other men in the first place.

But Eridan had been taught better than to give up, even if his heart squeezed painfully at the memory of confessing to someone he liked before. After his little fall-out with Feferi, Eridan had never confessed to anyone again, he had always let the people come to him and those who didn't, well, they weren't worth his attention. Now, however, he had to take the first steps, if he wanted to keep any sort of relationship with Sollux going. So he had given the man a chance to contact him.

And he had not been disappointed.

Eridan still didn't have a clue if Sollux liked men but he never skipped on a meeting, they snarked at each other and snarled when they clashed in heated debates and smiled when the other simply wanted to sit and exchange stories or talk about their interests.

And while his relationship with Sollux was slowly developing from acquaintances to what some would consider friends, Eridan's relationship with Karkat was entirely different. Difficult and far more vulgar than any other kid his age, Eridan didn't know how to handle the boy. Every time Eridan had tried to have a civil conversation with him, Karkat had either flipped him off, insulted him or ignored him.

Not that it mattered. Karkat was part of Sollux' life and not Eridan's. He had no interest in getting an angry, small boy to be friends with him. It wouldn't get them anywhere.

“They've been going somewhere,” Eridan finally answered and casually adjusted his scarf to hide his pink cheeks behind it.

“Could you have possibly given me more of a crabby answer, Eridan?” There was a huff in Feferi's voice and the sound alone was enough to make Eridan smirk to himself.

“Patience, Fef. A good storyteller doesn't reveal where everything is going, it would bore the audience. Speaking of audience, shouldn't you be collecting your little minions and marching back to school? It's getting pretty late.”

“You're killing the glubbing moment, Eridan. But fine! I guess it really is time to start collecting everyone so we can make sure no one gets left behind. They all seem to have enjoyed themselves, I'm so excited to see what they'll tell their parents! And nothing happe--”

There was a splash.

“FUCK!”

There was only one child and one child only, whose mouth was this potty and had the set of lungs to go with the seemingly endless tirade of curses.

Eridan's eyes flickered to the source of the noise, eyes widening behind his glasses and Feferi's breath caught in her throat.

One of the children had fallen into the lake.

A second splash confirmed that Karkat Vantas had jumped right in and joined the drowning-fest.

And the day had been going so well too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. <3 I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.


	8. Chapter 7

Eridan didn't realize he was running until the soles of his shoes made dull, thudding noises making contact with the ground instead of crunchy ones. Half way across the bridge, he shrugged off his jacket and let it hit the ground and continued to run.

 

What was he doing? He wasn't a teacher, he wasn't even the closest adult. But all of them had been frozen, safe for Feferi, who had started running a split second before Eridan himself started to move. But he was taller, faster and had soon left her behind. All he could hear was coughing, cursing and splashing noises as one or both children struggled to stay afloat.

 

No, really. Why was he doing this? This didn't concern him. Only that it did. These were children, young boys who still had their lives ahead of them and didn't deserve drowning in a lake in a semi-Japanese garden. Even if one of the kids was Karkat. If Eridan was honest with himself, it was especially because one of the children was Karkat. Sollux had told him a little about his dead wife. He'd sounded a little lost and broken. Talking about Karkat, however, always brought a small grin to Sollux' lips and he would talk animatedly about his son. The son he clearly held so dear. The son who was the only graspable person connected to Sollux' wife that was left.

 

The little piece of her that remained in the world.

 

Eridan jumped over the railing, shock running through his system upon making contact with the cold water, heart beating faster and faster as he watched the two children struggle.

 

It appeared that Gamzee couldn't swim.

 

And Karkat was desperately trying to keep him from drowning.

 

The problem was that Karkat was only a child. A small one. And Gamzee, despite being skinny, was tall, far taller than Karkat and only weighted the young boy down instead.

 

Pure determination kept Karkat from letting Gamzee slip beneath the water and out of sight. But it was obviously tiring, with his clothes soaking full of water and with the cold making him sluggish and the desperation seeping into his bones.

 

Eridan didn't waste another second and plucked Gamzee right out of Karkat's grasp, feeling thin arms wrap around his neck and hold on, puffs of air hitting his shoulder as Gamzee coughed and coughed, shaking and trying not to sob. Another second later, Eridan was holding Karkat against his chest, feeling small fingers clench against his pullover, fisting it as he spat out curses under his breath.

 

“I can swim by myself!”

 

For a dark, black second, Eridan was tempted to let go of Karkat, just to show the boy his place. How could a single person be so ignorant?

 

“Don't be a fucking idiot, Karkat! You're already freezing and your clothes are full of water! Don't even try to convince me you can do this by yourself, you selfish asshole. You're not fooling anyone!”

 

Karkat screeched right into Eridan's hair and the author winced and flinched back, ears ringing from the high-pitched noise. Which abruptly cut off, probably due to the shaky arm now obscuring his vision. Gamzee was patting Karkat's head comfortingly, making cooing noises, pale lips curled into a comforting smile.

 

The screeching was reduced to silent fuming, even if the anger radiating off of Karkat was practically visible to the bare eye.

 

“Listen. I need you both to hold on to my shoulders so I can get us to the shore. No complaining. No questions. And no talking, I'll need to focus.” Eridan helped the children shift around until they were both holding on to his pullover.

 

The next part was going to be tricky. Their clothes were full of water and getting heavier by the second, the children were already starting to look pale and Eridan could feel his limbs starting to become stiff and frozen. There was no way this wasn't going to be a struggle, a fight until they had solid ground under them. Really solid ground and not the slippery stones Eridan kept brushing his feet against, which offered no safe way to push against or walk on in any way whatsoever. So the author took a deep breath and started to swim. One stroke, a second stroke. Pause, let the rest of the stroke carry you. One stroke, second stroke. Breathe.

 

He could hear Feferi trying to grab his attention from the bridge but Eridan ignored her. While he had spend most of his childhood in a pool, had been part of the swimming clubs in school, had never given up on his hobby and still swam in his private pool every weekend, this required his focus. One slip and this would take more energy than necessary. The two children shivering against his back were distraction enough.

 

After what felt like an eternity, Eridan felt solid ground beneath his feet and stopped briefly, telling the children to shift until he could gather them up in his arms. Carefully, mindful of the seaweed covering a couple of the stones, Eridan stood up, adjusting his slipping grip on the wet children until they were held securely in his arms.

 

The rest of the way to the shore felt like a piece of cake compared to the swimming and Feferi met Eridan halfway to take Gamzee out of his grasp, wrapping her warm arms around the boy and holding him the rest of the way while Eridan was going more and more aware of the hateful glare boring into the side of his head.

 

With a disdainful scowl on his face he looked down to the child who looked as if someone had told him Christmas would be cancelled forever.

 

“What now? Can't you just be happy about not drowning?”

 

For a moment, something like hesitation flickered over the young boy's face until the snarl was back full force and he started squirming in Eridan's arms until they'd reached the shore and he was sat down on his arms two feet again.

 

“I would be happier in general if you just stayed away from my Dad!”

 

Eridan blinked. Once, twice. Then his eyebrows shot up.

 

“What the hell does he have to do with anything? Besides, he is a grown man and can make his own decisions about who to interact with and who not!”

 

Karkat's eyebrows furrowed together and a grim look appeared on his face.

 

“Just stay the fuck away from him. I don't need you to--”

 

Eridan didn't get the chance to learn what Karkat didn't need Eridan to do. The words were quickly turned into alarmed protest when the young boy was scooped up into the arms of one Nepeta Leijon, the teacher-assistant making distressed and worried noises as she carried him off to where Gamzee was already sitting, his wet clothes in a small pile and towels and blankets hiding him from view, save for that persistent hair sticking out, even though it was wet.

 

Dripping and confused and very, very cold, Eridan could only wonder about Karkat's warning for a split second until Feferi was dragging him away and towards a small building off to the side.

 

\---

 

After receiving a pair of too short pants and a too big but warm pullover, Feferi made Eridan sit down in front of a stove, shoving a cup of hot tea into his hands, giving him clear instructions on drinking all of it or else she would force it down his throat.

 

Eridan knew this was only Feferi's way of ensuring he wouldn't get sick and that she was being a good, but worried, friend so he chuckled lowly and nodded, taking a sip to appease her. He had to bite back a grimace at the taste, it was obviously more hot water than actual tea as it has been made with great haste. Before she left, Feferi draped a blanket over Eridan's shoulders and left once more to take care of the children, her mind obviously more concerned with their well-being rather than Eridan's. For a few moments, he frowned and shifted under the blanket, clutching the cheap cup close and letting the warm steam warm his cheeks. Of course she would be more worried about the children. It was her job as a teacher to make sure every single one of them would have returned home save and sound and happy, with red cheeks and smiles on their faces. Instead, two of them had fallen into the lake (well, one had jumped in in a fit of pure stupidity and most likely worry) and now Feferi was worried. Worried about what the principal would say, how parents would react. And Eridan was starting to worry on her behalf.

 

Feferi was a good teacher. From what he had seen and heard, she always tried to motivate her students, tried to listen to their worries and could get a little forceful if she needed to deal with some of these rougher, louder children. She made the children smile and grumble and struggle and grin victoriously over the battles they'd won and they would make her content in return. Make her smile and give her something to make peppy, perky comment about.

 

He didn't want Feferi to lose her job over this.

 

The author was startled out of his brooding when the door opened again and Feferi ushered the children inside, looking solemn and with worry lines between her eyebrows, the two boys finally dressed in clothing way too big for them, but from what Eridan could tell, there were at least two more layers of clothes beneath the long sleeved pullovers Feferi had obviously made them wear. They too were carrying two mug but judging by the smell, someone had gotten around to heating chicken noodle soup instead of making more tea.

 

Karkat looked as disgruntled as ever and the wide-eyed confusion had disappeared from Gamzee's face, instead his lips were pulled into a spacey smile again, gaze a little unfocused as he wandered over to sit next to Eridan, who scooted to the side to make space for the children. They needed the warmth more than he did.

 

With a lazy little grin, Gamzee followed Eridan. Eyebrows furrowing together, the author had to wonder if the boy had any concept of personal space, seeing as he was leaning against Eridan without a care in the world, half draping himself over his lap and sipping idly at his cup filled with soup. He looked as if he hadn't been about to drown just a couple of minutes earlier.

 

Unsettling.

 

A little irritated but helpless to push the lanky child off him, Eridan glanced towards the younger, angrier bundle of joy.

 

If Karkat glared any harder, his fierce expression would get stuck on his face forever. It would have been laughable if Eridan didn't know to take this glaring as seriously as he did. The warning was still ringing in his ears and Eridan was slowly beginning to understand that no, Karkat had not been joking. He had been dead serious about not wanting Eridan getting closer Sollux.

 

Karkat did not want the author anywhere near his father.

 

All ideas about this boy being just a child, about him posing no challenge went out the window. Right now, Sollux would most likely listen to his son than Eridan.

 

The bond Karkat shared with his father was rare. Almost every child loved their parents in one way or another, whether it was the adoring, cherishing kind of love or the broken, shattered and ugly form of love, which left both parties unhappy but still tied together until one of them tore the connection apart.

 

However, whatever Sollux shared with Karkat was different. Thicker, stronger, tight, something Eridan couldn't put into words, especially since their relationship had appeared downright weird to him in the beginning. Sollux didn't really act like any other guardian Eridan had met. He treated his son with a honesty and openness which spoke volumes about the affection he felt for his son.

 

No, Eridan couldn't fathom what Sollux and Karkat had gone through together.

 

But it had left them both strong, tall and a little bit broken, cracked around the edges until something or someone had layered the cracks with armour.

 

It slowly dawned on Eridan that he'd underestimated that connection.

 

If Karkat's crossed arms and open distrust was anything to go buy, this was going to be a tough battle.

 

At least, the young boy settled down on the ground next to the stove, puling up his sleeves and staining the borrowed clothes a bit as the soup sloshed around in the cup. There was enough space between adult and child that at least one more person could have squeezed between them.

 

It was going to be a long, hard road.

 

\---

 

Soon, Feferi joined the small group again, once again smiling and in a chipper mood. She wore her mask well but Eridan could see the worry in her eyes and made no comment when she asked Karkat to come with her. She would probably call Sollux now, who would likely want to talk to Karkat after talking to Feferi.

 

In the meantime, Eridan had another child to deal with. He waited until Karkat had gotten up and shuffled out of the room together with the teacher before shifting his leg and giving Gamzee a small nudge, who snapped out of his daydreaming with a surprised noise, gaze unfocused for a couple of heartbeats. Then he managed to pull himself together and gave Eridan a wide, lazy grin.

 

“What's up?”

 

“Any reason in particular as to why you decided to jump into a lake on a cold autumn day? I'm sure Fef would have let you know if you would have had to bring swimsuits along for the ride.”

 

Blinking, Gamzee tilted his head back and stared past Eridan at the ceiling, mulling the question over for a bit. The author waited impatiently for an answer and when it seemed as if the boy had spaced out once more, Eridan moved to give him another nudge. He didn't get to finish the movement though because finally, Gamzee spoke up, voice oddly hesitant and soft.

 

“Nah man. I didn't even jump in because I know I can't swim. And jumping into a lake or pool without knowing how to be a frog, well, that's not really something you should do, you know? I was just leaning over the railing because I was watching the fish. And the closer I got to the surface, the better I could see them. And they were to wicked, brother. Orange and brown and white and a little yellow too. And there was a black one. You should have seen them. They were so colourful and happy and I just wanted to touch them for a little bit. Learn what it feels like to have them swim between my fingers and feeling the scales covering their bodies. They were blurring together in the best ways, painting such a pretty picture. So I started wondering if I could grasp those wicked feelings they must have been having because they were swimming back and forth and gathering and having a party down there.”

 

Gamzee's happy little chuckle made chills run down Eridan's spine.

 

“And the next thing I remember is that the angry little bro is yelling and jumping in and keeping me from getting my drowning on. Don't know why he didn't run to get an adult instead. It's a miracle we didn't both kick the bucket.”

 

There were so many things wrong with this statement that Eridan wouldn't have been able to list them all, even if he had known how to put them all into words. How was Gamzee so composed? He's been drowning, helpless in the water, had managed to get rescued just in time. If stories were to be believed, children would be crying for their parents to comfort them as soon as they got out of the water, would cry and be hysterical and wide eyed after such an ordeal. But Gamzee acted as if this happened every day. As if dying wasn't scary or something to be afraid of.

 

A kid had never seemed to _off_ to Eridan before.

 

It was worrying.

 

“So the whole thing was an accident.”

 

Gamzee nodded his head at the not-question, lips curling into a slightly wider grin before gazing back to the stove, watching the orange colours flicker back and forth. “Yeah man. It was an accident.” After a small pause, the boy frowned and quickly sat up, giving Eridan a puzzled look. “Wait, do you believe the loud bro shoved me in? Because he didn't, he was still pretty far away when I fell in. Karkat had nothing to do with it.”

 

Eridan's eyebrows shot up and he cocked his head to the side, patting Gamzee's shoulder awkwardly. “No one believes that. He's a foul-mouthed brat but he wouldn't push someone into a lake. Fef knows that, too, so you don't have to worry about him. He's probably ranting his father's ears off as we speak. Neither of them know how to shut up.” That wasn't exactly true. Sometimes, both father and son were a little too quiet but Eridan didn't want to think about those instances too closely. Mostly because both of them made up for their withdrawn moments either by being snarky, angry or both. That and Karkat raised his voice loud enough to make up for the silence.

 

“Fef probably wants to call your parents soon. Do you want to speak with your Mom so she'll know you're alright and not sinking like a rock somewhere else? She'll probably come pick you up soon, too.”

 

The statement was met with a slightly incredulous and confused look.

 

“Why would my come Mom pick me up?”

 

“Yes? I suppose that's what parents do when their children have been in danger, come rushing to their side so they can hug you and spill dramatic but very appropriate tears?”

 

“But I never met my Mom.”

 

Shit. Eridan had stepped right into a hornet's nest. Hastily, he reached out to pull the blanket tighter around Gamzee's shoulders, brain racing to come up with the appropriate response.

 

“W-well, your father should come and collect you and your things then.”

 

“But he's at work.”

 

Why did the little comment sound so much like a death-sentence?

 

“So he'll go home early just today. I'm sure his son nearly dying is a good enough excuse for his boss.”

 

“No.”

 

What the hell? And why did Gamzee sound so frightened all of a sudden? Nearly dying didn't seem to rattle him much but his father leaving work early appeared to frazzle all his nerves badly enough to make the smile disappear. The child lowered his head, messy brown curls hiding his expression from the author but Eridan could tell he was chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

 

“The last time...” The words were deliberately slow as if Gamzee was something he'd long locked away in his memories. “...the last time Dad stayed home when something had happened to me, he had to stay at work even longer for the next two weeks. Don't call him.”

 

Behind them, the door opened a crack. Gamzee didn't seem to notice.

 

“The Boss told him he wasn't allowed to skip work again or he'd get fired. That bro is not fun to mess with. He's very harsh so Dad hasn't missed a single day since then. Can't we just tell him that nothing happened and we all just had a miraculous day at the park? I'll go home and be quiet and you and teach won't tell anyone either, yeah? That way, when I see him again, he won't have to worry.”

 

“Fuck that.” “Ridiculous.”

 

Startled, Gamzee looked up to Eridan, then peered past him at Karkat, who was standing in the doorway, scowling darkly at the back of Eridan's head for having spoken at the same time.

 

“You're coming home with us.”

 

\---

 

Sollux had expected a lot of things to happen during this day. Karkat yelling at people and getting scolded for it, children returning rosy cheeked and with bright little smiles, his son telling him the day wasn't that bad. It could have been worse. He would have told Sollux all about the park and they'd have had dinner and Karkat would have done his homework and then they'd have settled down to watch a Disney movie before bedtime.

 

It would have been a perfectly normal Friday.

 

And it was a perfectly normal Friday until Feferi had called Sollux and told him, with shaky confidence in her tone, that Karkat had fallen into the lake. She'd reassured him that the boy was fine, had been rescued by Eridan. Sollux had been half torn between telling Feferi that Karkat knew how to swim and wouldn't have required any assistance. Only that his son wore a thick jacket and a scarf and shoes and everything else which soaked full of water and could easily drag a child underwater, would have filled Karkat's small lungs until he suffocated.

 

The thought of losing Karkat made bile rise in Sollux' throat and he had to swallow a couple of times to force it back down. His son was alive and well, had been pulled out of the water by Eridan Ampora.

 

That man just had to stick his nose into everything. Him being at the park was most likely what Feferi had told him and for him to contact Eridan, so he would give her a call.

 

The rush of emotions made Sollux' heart gave a painful lurch. Gratitude, irritation, worry, fondness and a gnawing sense of discomfort made him bite his bottom lip and start pacing. Karkat was fine. Eridan was fine. They had most likely gotten drenched to the bone but none of them had stopped breathing at any point. It was okay, they were still there and not going anywhere and leaving him behind-

 

Why was he including Eridan in that statement? Scowling, Sollux sat down on the couch. So what if Eridan left? In the best case scenario, he would most likely leave after Sollux' built his computer for him and they wouldn't talk past Hello, short nods exchanged as shopping centers and _Oh this guy, I worked with him once_. The author would not stick around forever in the first place. It would continue to be him and his son, as it has been. As it would always be until the grey threads strapped tightly around that particular part of his heart melted away.

 

Feferi had gone quiet on her end, nothing but the sound of static crackle between them until she said his name questioningly.

 

With a quick shake of his head, Sollux pulled himself out of his mental wandering. There would be time for contemplation later.

 

He should have dropped the phone and rushed to the park as soon as Feferi told him that his son had been in danger. He was the worst father. Karkat was a self-confident young boy but he was still a child and not matter the brave he put on most of the time, Sollux knew better than to believe his son when he was claiming to be _just fine Dad, quit your meddling._

 

“I'm on my way.”

 

\---

 

When Sollux arrived, most of the children had been led back to school by the other supervising adults. Feferi met him at the entrance, gesturing for Sollux to follow her. He tried to hide how anxious he really felt behind a relaxed slouch but his hands were shaking and expression felt painted on, grim lines on a white canvas. Judging by Feferi's attempt at shooting him a reassuring look, he was most likely as pale as he felt after all.

 

“Where'th KK?”

 

His son was nowhere in sight it did nothing for Sollux' frayed nerves.

 

“I'll take you too him, he's with Eridan and Gamzee.”

 

Nodding sharply, Sollux continued to trudge next to Feferi, hands in his pockets and his expression a mask of nonchalance.

 

It lasted only until Feferi ushered him into the small building, leading him along a short hallway before opening a door on the side, gesturing with her hand for Sollux to enter.

 

Three figured were curled up on front of a stove, all of them covered with thick blankets. Eridan was sitting a bit off to the side, visibly perking up once he caught sight of Sollux. His gaze didn't linger on the author and instead drifted to the two children, one tall, one small. The tall was sitting cross-legged, hands holding on to his ankles and the blanket had slipped off of one shoulder and he young boy turned to the side just in time for Sollux to catch the spacey smile. His hair appeared to be damp.

 

But that boy didn't matter either. Because Karkat was sitting right there, mouth pulled into an unhappy frown, lines between his eyebrows and obviously in a bad mood.

 

Sollux had never been happier to see Karkat make that face.

 

With a handful of strides, he crossed the distance between them, not noticing that Karkat had gotten up as well, blanket dropping off his shoulders and holding his arms up until Sollux was cradling his precious son in his arms, hugging him tightly against his chest. Karkat wasn't even squirming, wasn't complaining. He was simply holding on for his dear life, face buried in his father's shoulder and all pretences of aggravated fuming dropped and blown away.

 

Neither of them cared what any of the other three present were thinking. All that mattered that their little family was safe and sound.

 

Relieved washed over him and drowned the feeling of suspicion in Sollux' stomach, which had been growing since the phone call. A part of him hadn't believed Feferi's reassurances, the part of him which was a constant pessimist, the part of him who dreaded each and every single phone call, the part of him that constantly whispered _You are going to lose Karkat as well_. Now that he held his son in his arms, all his worries fled. There was no reason to wait for the worst case scenario because it hadn't happened.

 

“Hey brat.”

 

“Fuck you, Dad.”

 

They exchanged a grin before Karkat buried his face in Sollux' shoulder again, freely holding on and letting their warmth and relief soothe their fears. Chuckling, Sollux reached up and ran a hand through Karkat's hair, which got him an annoyed noise in return and yet his son didn't move away or loosen his grip. Neither was Sollux.

 

After a couple of heartbeats, Sollux pressed his cheek against the side of Karkat's head, finally locking eyes with Eridan. The author had been watching the scene with unabashed wonder on his face, a soft crinkle around his eyes and the slightest smug grin curled his lips.

 

Soundlessly, Sollux' lips moved, expression solemn and grateful.

 

 _Thank you_.

 

Eridan's chest puffed out and his whole posture straightened out, his pride practically lighting up the room.

 

The solemn expression vanished and a devious grin appeared on Sollux' face instead.

 

_Even if you're an asshole._

 

Suddenly deflated, Eridan's smirk fell, instead replaced by a silent snarl and something that Sollux might have pegged as fondness, if he hadn't suddenly been distracted by Gamzee's wide eyed exclamation.

 

“You have the pair of the most legit eyeballs I've ever seen. Check it out, author bro, they're brown and blue!”

 

Karkat snorted into Sollux' shoulder, finally pulling back enough to get a good look at his father, a tight and tense expression on his face.

 

“This is Gamzee, Dad. He's staying with us for the rest of the day.”

 

Sollux raised both eyebrows.

 

There had to be an explanation for his son's sudden urge to socialize with this air-headed kid. Who was still staring at Sollux' eyes.

 

“Motherfuckin' miracles.”

 

A very good explanation.

 

\---

 

Everything about the rest of the afternoon and early evening seemed off.

 

Karkat and Eridan kept giving each other looks of silent suspicion, which half-amused, half- exasperated Sollux. Gamzee stared at everyone and everything in wonder, floated through the house and acting as if he'd never been inside a house before.

 

And while Karkat had dragged Gamzee upstairs to show him his room, Eridan had confirmed that Sollux was not the only one who thought his son's newest friend acted like no child his age should. At least not a healthy child.

 

Between making peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches and sipping warm beverages (“I refuse to believe that you don't have any tea in your house!” “Cry me a river, Eridan.”), they had moved on to the couch and were comfortably curled up on it, the TV droning on and on in the background while the occasional laughter floated downstairs.

 

It was nice. It was warm. It made Sollux lips curl into a relaxed smile and almost forget that Eridan had a penchant for killing the mood in a matter of seconds.

 

“You should, you know. For being a hero and rescuing your son. It would only be a proper way of showing your thanks.”

 

“You're blabbering. Get to the point and thtop beating around the buthh. It thtopped being entertaining and cute after 'hero'.”

 

“Alright, fine!”

 

Why was the atmosphere suddenly so stifling? Why was Eridan flushed to the ears, face half buried in the scarf? Why was the cup held by the author shaking ever so slightly?

 

Eridan cleared his throat and put the mug down, straightened his back and tugged his scarf down enough to give Sollux a wide-eyed look which the author probably thought made him look confident.

 

His fists clenched.

 

“Thith ith far worthe than your babbling. Are you going to thpit it out o--”

 

“Go on a date with me.”

 

Sollux blinked, mouth falling open.

 

_What?_


	9. Chapter 8

Sleep rarely came to Sollux easily. His mind was working twenty-three hours on good days and twenty-four hours on bad days. It wasn't that he never slept, he always caught enough sleep to get through most of his days. He only skipped sleep when he had epiphanies or was working on a project which required all of his attention over a long period of time. And when he was getting close to a due date. That still hadn't changed from when he had attended to college. Back then, he'd spent days and nights on perfecting his codes until he was exhausted, shaky but ultimately satisfied with his work. Until after a day of handing it in, then he would always find something he could have done better, could have made smoother or shorter or longer. On those nights, he'd lain away like he was right now, curled up on his side and staring blankly into the darkness of his room, brain working relentlessly.

 

He hadn't been able to reply to Eridan's... question? Demand? Proposal? Suggestion? Whatever it had been, the author himself had deflated quickly enough for Sollux to not figure out what the hell that statement had really been. Thankfully, Karkat had stomped his way downstairs before the silence grew too thick and awkward, dragging his new friend along, who continued to be baffled by their small house.

 

Sollux rolled onto his side so he was facing the window, huffing softly at the moonlight filtering in through the windows. Something was wrong with that boy. When Sollux had handed Karkat and Gamzee the milk, the lanky child had stared at the contents of the fridge as if they were sacred, lips moving soundlessly in what Sollux assumed to have been the word _Miracles._ He had also boggled at the plate of fruit on the kitchen table, eyes wide as he asked if he could take an apple. Sollux had given him him two, only to notice them disappear into Gamzee's backpack instead of being eaten. It had made the small, shrill alarm noise go off in the back of Sollux' head until Gamzee gave him a wide smile and told him that they were for his best friend, who apparently loved apples but hadn't been able to eat them lately. Something about the comment had sounded off but Sollux hadn't been able to place his finger on it so he had let it go. There were a lot of small oddities about this boy, from him drinking tap water when a bottle of mineral water had been in plain sight (Sollux had simply chalked that up to preference) to how he treated Crabdad as if he was alive (Sollux chalked that one up to the boy having a vivid imagination).

 

But the boy hadn't been the one to bring his day to a screeching halt. No, that award went to one Eridan Ampora, man of many talents of which timing was not part of. And patience. And modesty. Actually, Eridan was probably a man of many talents but few virtues. Especially socially acceptable virtues.

 

What had he been thinking, asking Sollux out like that? It had been entirely out of the blue, there had been no hints whatsoever about Eridan wanting a closer, more intimate relationship past the meet-ups and bickering. Or had there been and Sollux had only missed them?

 

Frowning, the software designer rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

 

And why hadn't he simply shot Eridan down, why hadn't he just said no and moved on with his life? That was what he wanted, wasn't it? He just wanted to live his life with Karkat in their house, make sure Karkat would graduate high school with passable grades and maybe attend to a college which Sollux hoped to save enough money for, should it happen. He wanted to offer his son the chance to do whatever he wanted in life, whether college was a part of that or not. The possibility was there and Sollux wanted to make sure that Karkat would be able to do it. And that was what he wanted to do with his life, wasn't it? Keep his son close and happy and to let him discover the world on his own.

 

Wasn't it?

 

Was he fine with being Karkat's dad and a software designer only? Was he fine with living a life revolving around his son? Was he fine with growing old alone, with watching Karkat find the own love of his life, whether that was a woman, a man or one of his passions, with watching the seasons change, wondering about what could have been?

 

Sollux didn't mind being alone. He was perfectly fine with it. But sometimes he felt as if something was missing. He loved his son so very much, held him dear. He loved and trusted his parents and knew that he could always turn to Aradia's father in dire times of need. But they weren't able to fill the gaping wound in his chest where his love for Aradia still simmered, mending the blistering edges but never really completely soothing them. He had only thought about filling said wound once, fleetingly, when he had seen Miss Peixes wide, teasing grin and had heard her happy laughter. That was before he had realised that the only reason he had paid more attention to her was the resemblance to his dead wife. And Feferi did not deserve to just be a replacement. She needed someone to come home to after busy days, someone who would keep up with her pace and love _her_ smile and would catch her at the end of the day. Sollux couldn't give her that. Any of that, really. He'd never mentioned anything of his fleeting interest to her and had afterwards realized how stupid it had been to consider dating her in the first place.

 

Actually, he had originally assumed Eridan and Feferi had been dating, judging by their close relationship and the photo of the two of them acting as Eridan's desktop background.

 

However, watching the two of them had Sollux come to realize that it was a foolish notion. They were friends, close friends, he saw it in the mischievous grin she sent Eridan and the fond looks the author gave her in return.

 

Frustrated, Sollux rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillows to stifle the series of disappointed, annoyed noises.

 

This wasn't getting him anywhere. He was thinking in a circle, round and round but getting nowhere. Besides, had Eridan even paused to consider the idea that Sollux wasn't interested in dating anyone of the opposite sex? That he only liked women and preferred men as friends and friends only.

 

Did he though?

 

He'd never really thought about his sexuality much. Aradia had always been the one he was attracted to, the one who managed to make him laugh and the one to hold him when his moods pummelled into the negative range and the one to curl up in his arms when she was downright miserable. At one point, it had stopped being Sollux and Aradia and became SolluxandAradia. He never had to question whether or not he liked her. Because he always had loved her, one way or another. Sollux' mind had been filled with her smiling face, his ears with her laughter and his heart with his love for her. He only had eyes for her and he had been the only one who knew about her hobby of throwing others off with little quirky remarks or views or statements which people never expected from her.

 

Sollux had never needed to look at anyone else like he had looked at her.

 

Now there were three questions the software designer had to deal with. One was whether or not he was willing to try and find someone he loved as much as he had loved Aradia. The second was whether or not he was willing to seriously consider a date with Eridan Ampora. Who was a man. Which led him to the last question. Would Sollux be able to fall in love with a man? Because he didn't want to force himself into a relationship with another male even though he wasn't attracted to him because of his gender.

 

Fuck.

 

This was going to eat away at him for the rest of the night.

 

\---

 

Undeniably not-rested, Sollux nursed his precious cup of coffee while waiting for Karkat to stop hogging the phone. It was 10 am in the morning and his son had been busying himself with talking to someone over the phone. All while eating breakfast and getting dressed and brushing his teeth. Sollux was somewhat at a loss as to who his son was calling.

 

Karkat had never spent much time talking to someone over the phone, he was curt and to the point, especially with his friend John. On the other hand, the young boy enjoyed spamming his friends with a grey wall of capslock whenever he was talking to anyone online. Sollux had once scrolled through a chat when Karkat had fallen asleep on his chair. He had been unable to hide his snickers, Karkat could get really wordy and creative whenever he wanted to or thought it was appropriate. Oh who was Sollux kidding, his son enjoyed going on long tirades as long as he wasn't talking on the phone.

 

But the conversation Karkat was having seemed sheer endless and Sollux had taken to idly counting the times Karkat started ranting or frowning and scowling like a wet, angry cat. So far he was up to twelve times. Whoever was talking on the other line knew how to set Karkat off.

 

Finally, the boy turned his head and lowered the phone, covering it with a small hand.

 

“Dad, I want Gamzee to come over today. That's fine, right?”

 

Well, that answered the question as to why Karkat had nearly exploded at one point. The older boy had most likely spaced out and stopped listening to Karkat.

 

Sollux raised both eyebrows and took a sip from his mug before setting it down. He had different plans for today.

 

“Thorry KK but I wanted uth to vithit my parentth today. There'th thomething I want to dithcuthh with them and they've been athking about you. You could go and play in their garden.”

 

It was slightly unsettling how much Karkat was able to manipulate Sollux' decision by simply looking sad.

 

“Okay... Right. It was stupid of me to ask, it's weekend after all. Sorry, Dad.”

 

Damn it. Sollux knew Karkat didn't mean to make him change his mind by looking like a kicked puppy. His son was able to do a lot of things and knew how to get Sollux to do just what he wanted but this wasn't one of those times. He was genuinely upset about not being able to meet Gamzee today.

 

Would it hurt any of them if Gamzee would tag along?

 

“Wait, KK.”

 

His son paused and gave Sollux a hopeful look, the picture of a young boy wishing for the best, wide eyed and with small fingers clutching the phone.

 

“Tell him we'll come and pick him up in an hour or tho. Make thure he'th going to wear a thick jacket, it'th pretty cold today.”

 

Karkat's smile was wide and happy as he hugged Sollux' legs and proceeded to chatter excitedly to Gamzee about the change of plans.

 

\---

 

At first, Sollux thought Gamzee had given them the wrong address. This was the part of the city where those unfortunate lived, those who scraped every penny together to pay for modest apartments, apartments which often looked as if they had already existed when the America had declared independence. Only in tall, red brickstone buildings with shaky and incredibly creaking emergency stairs on the side which swayed a little dangerously in the wind. This wasn't a place for anyone to live in but for the lost and the desperate and those who suffered under the country's economy more than others.

 

Wearily, Sollux parked his car on the pavement, peeling his GPS off the window and storing it under the passenger's seat. This wasn't the kind of neighbourhood he'd want Karkat to visit. It didn't look very dangerous but Sollux knew what kind of rats crawled out of their holes in the early evenings to offer their wares to everyone at night. And it didn't take exactly long to steal a car either.

 

“KK, which apartment did you thay your clowny friend lived in?”

 

“Apartment 21b, Dad...”

 

Karkat was giving the building his own weary look, eyebrows knitting together in an expression which clearly said that the wheels in Karkat's head were turning as well. Judging by the growing determination on his face, Sollux could safely assume that Karkat would want Gamzee over a lot more in the future.

 

The wall paper was missing in various spots on the walls, the attempt to hide them behind a couple of meagrely tended to plants was only half-working. Despite the building's neighbourhood not being the best, it seemed as if the landlord at least made sure that it looked half-way decent from the inside. On the other hand, Sollux wasn't sure whether that was to fool those who planned to rent an apartment or the actual state of the rest of the building.

 

The first floor confirmed Sollux' suspicions. The ground floor looked decent enough but up where to apartments actually were, the paint was barely there anymore, the walls obviously thin as both father and son could hear a TV blasting noise from one direction and a child crying loudly from the other. And it seemed the further up they went, the worse it got. The second floor had a minimal stripe of paint left, the floor beneath it covered in small flakes of egg-shell coloured paint. Somewhere, a parent was having a heated discussion with their daugther, the voices rising in volume until a door slammed shut noisily.

 

Sollux had lived in a similar apartment with Aradia for a short time before they'd both attended to college. He didn't remember the time all that fondly and was more than happy to finally move out before he had gone through with clobbering someone to death with his or her own bass.

 

Thankfully, apartment 21b was the second door they stumbled upon and the doorbell seemed to work as well because a couple of seconds after they'd rung, Gamzee peered through the small crack before opening the door fully, a wide grin on his face as he spread out his arms as if expecting a hug. Or maybe it was his way of inviting father and son inside.

 

“Haha, you're already here, best friend? Didn't you call just five minutes ago?”

 

Karkat growled and pushed past Gamzee, picking up the small jacket with polka dots as started looking for shoes. And socks. Gamzee wasn't wearing any.

 

“That was half an hour ago, numbskull! Have you forgotten how to read a clock?”

 

“Woah, really?” Gamzee gave Karkat a wide eyed look before spacing out and staring into nothing, lips moving soundlessly for a while before he spoke up again. “Huh, miracles.”

 

Sollux smothered a laugh as Karkat started to seethe. “It's not a miracle! It's called time and if you still want to come along, you better stop ogling the creepy puppet and pick up some slack! Where are your socks, idiot, you're not coming with us unless you're wearing them!”

 

While his son chased Gamzee around the room, Sollux closed the front door behind him and took a good look around the apartment. It was sparsely furnished, a TV and a couch and an ancient looking wooden cabinet with a glass window behind which a tea set rested. There were some papers taped to the walls, obviously drawn by a child. Often, the pictures would show two people, one small, with messy, curly brown hair, obviously Gamzee, while the other was tall, equally curly haired and with a light grey trench coat. More often than not, picture-Gamzee would be holding his father's hand, the curved lines on their faces wide and happy. One picture read 'I love you dad' in dark indigo above the tall figure.

 

“Hey Gamthee, doeth your father know where you're going today?”

 

Because Sollux had to make sure he wasn't going to receive a phone call from an angry father who accused him of kidnapping his son. Or picking up his son without permission.

 

Behind them, Gamzee made a thoughtful noise before slapping his hand against his forehead, laughing carelessly.

 

“Right right, I should leave him a note. The Pops won't be back before evening though so it should be okay if I get my tagging along on.”

 

Gamzee disappeared into the small kitchen, absent-mindedly scribbling on a paper while Karkat tapped his foot impatiently, eyebrows drawn together, nudging Gamzee every time he spaced out. Once he was done, the older boy presented the note to Sollux, undisturbed smile on his face.

 

“Here you go.”

 

The note made Sollux raise both eyebrows. Gamzee had obviously tried, words crossed out here and there, some sentences just going on and on before getting to the point. It was full of smilies with round clown noses.

 

It was almost adorable if it wasn't so heartbreaking at the same time.

 

Frowning, Sollux took the pen from Gamzee and added his own lines, his cellphone number and his parents' phone number, in case Mister Makara wanted to contact them.

 

Then he placed the note on the kitchen table, ushering the children outside.

 

Gamzee only remembered to take his key along the very last second before the door shut.

 

\---

 

The thing about Sollux' parents was that some didn't consider them normal. Some because of their sexuality, some because of their hobby of breeding bees and collecting the honey said bees created, some found it odd that they had adopted a young boy with the temper of a storm and who was about as fickle as one. Some simply didn't call them normal out of spite, some whispered tales about the two men living outside the city with the huge garden and what _they_ thought Sollux parents did behind closed doors, suspicion piled upon gossip and the need to always have something sinister going on.

 

Without fail, whenever people had learned about Sollux fathers, fathers and not mother and father, 'proper' parents, they always asked the same question.

 

_Your parents are gay?_

 

Without fail Sollux would answer with _My parents are homosexual._

 

Because he had long learned that people always thought every homosexual man was the stereotypical gay man the media wanted to convey, all flashy gestures and and floaty steps and 'honey, you should so not wear that, here, put this on, why I've never seen something so delightful, you simply must buy it!' His parents, however, were not like that media depiction at all. They were calm, level-headed human beings which occasionally bickered over who had been supposed to do the dishes, what to buy for dinner, who curled up together on a couch to watch a movie. Who had raised a young child just like any other family with children had done. They were not the party animals with low standards people suspected they were. They lived in their own bubble of perfect normalcy and if one of them had been a woman, their neighbours wouldn't have batted an eyelash at their relationship. As it was, people still felt the need to gossip.

 

Sollux loved his parents regardless. They had raised him, been patient with his mood swings and held him through trembling nights, had hugged him when he'd announced his engagement to Aradia, had been so, so proud of him for living his life without being ashamed of any decision he had ever made (aside from not being there for Aradia when she'd needed him the most). No, Sollux had not always understood his parents, had his fair share of fights with them over rules and what-ifs and why-nots. But ultimately, he could freely admit this, he treasured his parents beyond measure. They were the best parents he could have asked for and the best grandparents Karkat ever could have had. The software designer could always come to them when he required help in any way, shape or form and they would try to help him out.

 

Nipping at his coffee, watching Karkat and Gamzee run around the garden, chasing after the football with the clumsy grace every child possessed, he decided to present the real reason for his visit to his parents. They were sitting opposite of him, a plate with fresh honey cookies placed on the table between them.

 

Without grandeur, Sollux jumped right on the train, placing his cup on the table before leaning back.

 

“How did you know you were interethted in men inthtead of women?”

 

Chances were high that he could have worded this more delicately but Sollux had rarely been one to dance around a matter. He had been raised better than to cover his intentions with sweet smiles, polite words and inaccurate compliments. Handling this subject as if it was glass wasn't going to make this any easier for everyone involved.

 

There was a thick pause before Lucas picked a cookie up and leaned back to give Sollux a questioning look.

 

“Where did that come from?”

 

“It'th jutht that-”

 

Sollux licked his lips and frowned. How was he going to explain this?

 

Paul stood up to grab the coffee can to refill his own cup, giving his son a reassuring, calm look.

 

“Just start at the beginning, Sollux. You've never bothered to ask before so there's obviously something going on here.”

 

Stifling an exhausted but fond sigh, Sollux wondered if his parents would ever stop being able to read him like an open book. Their meddling wasn't something he had always appreciated, had often fought against as a teenager but now he found their concern comforting. He wouldn't have known who else to talk to this about.

 

“Remember that job I took from the tiny little Deuthe guy? And how I met Ampora again thankth to that? The thelfish prick kept thticking around...”

 

Explaining everything took longer than Sollux thought it would. Explaining how they had not gotten along at first, how things had slowly shifted and how Eridan had been the one to initiate continued contact between them, how things went from professional to friendly or as friendly as they could with antagonizing each other with jabs could get anyway. How Eridan had saved Karkat, from going down with his classmate, how he had stuck around for the rest of the day sulking but a comforting presence at Sollux' back, soothing his frazzled nerves and helping him through his festering worries with words and teasing and-

 

And how he'd asked Sollux out.

 

And how Sollux still hadn't answered with a yes or a no or perhaps even a maybe. How he'd left Eridan hanging. How Eridan had left him a short email reading _Contact me when you're ready to reply._

 

By the time Sollux was done telling his parents the story, his coffee was cold, his throat feeling fuzzy and dry from talking so much and his fingers sticky from holding on to a honey cookie. He felt like he was thirteen again, shoulders hunched over, dull around the edges from exhaustion and confusion as to what the heck was going on with him and the world around him. Only now he was double the age but still had issues with his emotions. If Sollux didn't know that time hadn't, in fact, stood still, he could have convinced himself that nothing had changed at all.

 

His parents exchanged a look and Sollux knew what they were thinking. He'd been wondering about it during his restless night as well.

 

Sollux had never had to think about his sexuality. He'd been attracted to Aradia and Aradia only, his eye had never wandered to someone else and his mind had never whispered _What if?_ , he'd never considered dating someone else and he had been happy that way. He had never thought about anyone other than Aradia. He had never paused and looked around, especially not when people started trying to move his attention from his girlfriend and later, wife. Sollux had always firmly stuck by her side, held her hand through the years as much as she had held his.

 

He had been content that way, life was easy, life was good and nothing had to change and throw him out of his mindset.

 

Only that things had changed. Rapidly. And now he was at a loss.

 

“Sollux. You have to understand one very important thing, even if I'm sure you're aware of the fact already. You cannot decide who you are attracted to, whether it is men or women or men in dresses and women in suits or someone who is stuck in the wrong body or whatever else you can think of. You cannot decide one morning that you are now attracted to women and decide that you would rather 'be a homosexual' the other and then go back to women again just because you feel like it. It doesn't work like that.”

 

Paul picked up where Lucas had left off, leaning back to give the ceiling a thoughtful look.

 

“Your father and I grew up in an age where being homosexual wasn't considered correct or was in any way encouraged. We both struggled, Sollux. I wondered if there was something wrong with me for being attracted to men and wanting nothing more from girls than being friends with them instead of marrying them and being the father of my very own children. I can't speak for Lucas but every day was a battle for me, to hide from my co-workers and family and before that, from my classmates and teachers. I fought to be 'normal'. But normal isn't always the right choice to make, Sollux. It sure wasn't for me. But what makes my life easier is that I can look into the mirror every morning and say _I am who I am and I am happy to be me_.”

 

Sollux frowned, placing his cup on the table again and finally taking a bite out of his cookie. This wasn't really helping him all that much. He already knew that sexuality could not be decided on a whim, in a moody fit. He knew that accepting it was a struggle. But what his parents told him didn't really help him right now in any way whatsoever.

 

His attention snapped back to his other parent when he spoke up again.

 

“It was different for me. I'm not only attracted to men but also women. I've long decided that I can find something beautiful, something I can appreciate in people regardless of their gender. It just so happened that your father is a man. I would have fallen in love with him if he had been a woman just as I've fallen for him as a man. Gender doesn't matter to me. What you have to ask yourself now, Sollux, is this: Does the gender of your hypothetical partner matter to _you_?”

 

Sollux fidgeted. He wasn't sure how to answer that question. Did the gender of his partner matter to him in the end? If Eridan had been a woman and not a man, would he have fallen for her by now? Would he have flirted with female-Eridan, would he have insulted her reading in the very beginning, would he have asked her out on a date by now, would he have already started courting her? Would he have treated her differently?

 

He didn't know.

 

But Eridan was Eridan in the end, obnoxious and snooty and with a disdain for the world covering his softer core. Because there was a softer core or else Eridan wouldn't have given Sollux his number, wouldn't have jumped into the lake for two children, wouldn't have allowed Sollux to lean against him during that trying afternoon.

 

Paul broke his son out of his musings by speaking up once more, reaching out to twine his fingers with Lucas'.

 

“Would you have loved Aradia if she had been a man?”

 

Instantly, Sollux rolled his eyes. What kind of question was that? The obvious answer was-

 

was-

 

Was there even an obvious answer?

 

Frowning, Sollux started chewing on his bottom lip, mind running a mile a minute before he looked up at his parents, eyebrows knitted together in an indescribable expression.

 

“That quethtion ith not really fair, Dad. If I thay yeth, one might interpret it ath a thign that gender doethn't matter to me. If I thay no you'd obviouthly quethtion my love for AA. There ith no right anthwer to the question.” Sollux paused. “It'th like a woman athking her boyfriend whether or not he thinkth the drethh thhe'th wearing maketh her look fat.”

 

Lucas stifled a snort, lips curling into an amused grin.

 

“That's not the point. You don't even have to answer us. Just ask yourself the question and let yourself answer. It's not easy, a hypothetical question like this. Because it's always easier loving someone in your head than loving someone in person. Your imagination might doll things up, make you see everything though pink-tinted glasses but we know you can be truthful with yourself. A question like this doesn't even warrant a straight answer of yes or no. It's not impossible that answering the question is not even going to help you with the problem with Eridan Ampora. But maybe it's a question you should ask yourself.

 

“Fine.”

 

Sollux closed his eyes and let his mind mull the question over.

 

Would he have loved Aradia if she had been a man?

 

What he had always liked about Aradia was not what had been on the outside. He had loved her for her passion for archaeology, for old things, he had loved her for her wit and sweet nature, for being there for her few close friends, for listening to Sollux and taming his moods, for putting up with his jokes and even enjoying them, for being able to look at him and loving him. He had also fallen in love with her wide smiles, her quirky grins and her strong willed, headstrong expressions.

 

But would he have loved Aradia the same way had she been a man? He would have appreciated his passion for history, would have grinned at man-Aradia's jokes and remarks, would have been there to help him through black, splotchy spots of their teenage life.

 

He would have loved the grins and the smiles and the friendly but serious character Aradia would also have possessed as a man, just as she had as a woman. He would have loved her even as a man but would he have been in love with her?

 

He didn't know. Maybe he would have fallen in love with her even if she had been a man. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe their relationship would have developed differently one way or another and maybe-

 

Maybe.

 

Sollux was done dealing in maybes. He was done letting himself get dragged back and forth by his own wiles and doubts. He was done with not getting or giving straight answers.

 

It was either yes or no now.

 

Would he have fallen in love with Aradia as a man or not?

 

Hadn't the answer always been a truthful yes? If he had been blind he would have fallen for her. If he had only known her through text without ever being sure of her gender, he would have fallen for her. It wouldn't have mattered if she'd been a woman or a man.

 

Sollux would have loved her, fallen in love with him and would have tried to pursue a relationship with Aradia.

 

Finally, he looked up to give his parents a wordless, unwavering look. He had his answer. But how was it going to help him?

 

A long time ago, Sollux would have curled up between them, looking at them to fix every problem, for them to answer all his questions because they were his parents. They knew everything and could solve everything. But by now Sollux knew that parents did not know how to explain the way of things. By now, Sollux was able to reach his own conclusions and make his own decisions.

 

The two men who had raised Sollux shared a look, small smiles on their faces before turning back to face their son.

 

“We can only give you one more piece of advice, Sollux. Do not let labels stop you from obtaining happiness. Whatever you decide, _you_ have to be happy with the decision, not the rest of the world.”

 

All three, fathers and son, heaved an inward sigh, taking a simultaneous sip from their cold drinks.

 

And with the unexplainable sense of timing children seemed to possess, Karkat and Gamzee burst into the room, red-cheeked and with runny noses, grins on their faces and wind tousled hair, bringing with them the smell of autumn rain and change.

 

\---

 

After Aradia's death, Sollux life had very few but important constancies left. He had a house. He had a job, more or less. He had parents who were willing to help him through everything. And he had his son. If not for Karkat, Sollux wasn't sure if he had ever pulled himself back together and moved on even the slightest bit. Karkat dragged him out of bed when he didn't want to, demanded his attention, affection, clinging and pushing him away in the span of three seconds, forced Sollux to go and piece their fractured lives back together. Karkat kept an eye on his father as much as Sollux kept an eye on Karkat, would always offer his arms to his son when he looked ready to cry or about to explode from all the grief, anger and helplessness he was feeling.

 

This obviously meant that Karkat mattered to Sollux. A lot. More than other people who were still alive.

 

The thing was, Sollux knew that Karkat disliked Eridan. It wasn't really that difficult to notice, people didn't even have to squint and tilt their heads to figure out that Sollux' son held a lot of disdain for Eridan and barely respected him at all, only whatever manners Sollux had taught him kept Karkat from refusing to stay in the very same room as Eridan.

 

Hence, Karkat's possible reaction mattered. It mattered to Sollux whether or not his son would go back to pitching fits, would make Karkat go back to yelling angrily, crying and snarling, feeling utterly betrayed.

 

It didn't really matter that Karkat growled at Eridan like an angry young dog because Sollux knew that both Eridan and Karkat could handle it in the long run. But the possibility of Karkat getting himself lost in his own emotions was still there. And Sollux didn't want that to happen, not again. It had been a physically and mentally tiring experience.

 

Sollux worried.

 

He didn't want to talk to his son about this. Not yet, when everything was still somewhere up in the stars. Besides, talking to this about an seven year old who, as intelligent as he was, didn't need to be burdened with his father's worries about what-ifs and possibilities and what-abouts. Sollux would talk to him if he would ever start dating someone again.

 

And Karkat wasn't the person to talk to about it at all. He was a child. A child who didn't always have the patience to deal with the world. A child who could listen but not relate. Who would only worry about it himself and knit himself into twists over possibilities.

 

There had only been one person Sollux had been able to talk to when he had dark worries eating away at his mind.

 

Karkat was fast asleep, moon high in the sky and the night filled with patches of silvery light when Sollux Captor put on his coat, made sure he had his keys before pulling the front door shut.

 

\---

 

Pebble stones creaked under his shoes as Sollux pulled the gate shut behind him, the old metal squeaking in protest before falling silent. For a couple of seconds, Sollux didn't move, didn't breathe, waiting for someone to poke their heads out a window and check what the noise had been all about. But everything remained silent save a car driving past him, music blaring loudly from behind the windows before is turned around a corner, music fading away as Sollux made his way forward.

 

Near the end, far left. Moonlight was filtering through the clouds, giving Sollux just enough light to orient himself despite the fact that he could have found his way to Aradia's grave with a blindfold and his hands and feet tied together.

 

There was no sunlight to illuminate his path, no ray making his skin turn red beneath black clothes. No bird was singing its cheery song and the smell of flowers and grass wasn't filling the air, instead the air smelled of wet leaves and muddy ground.

 

Sollux marched on.

 

Second to last grave.

 

“Hello AA.”

 

Sollux' words were accompanied by a cloud of warm breath which disappeared into the night.

 

“You're probably why I'm wondering why I'm here in the middle of the night. Unlethh you really watch uth, in which cathe you're motht likely aware of what happened to KK. Thankth for making thure thomeone wath there to help him out.”

 

There was a long, pregnant pause during which Sollux didn't move, the wind rustling in the thinning tree branches, making more leaves fall down.

 

Sollux' voice shook when he spoke up again.

 

“It'th hard, AA. I don't know what to do. I thtill have... I thtill have my whole life ahead of me. I can do whatever I want, I could try and become an athronaut. I could run for president.” A grin appeared on Sollux' face only to fade as quickly as it had come. “I could move acrothh the country with KK. I could leave thith all behind, could watch him grow into a young man who would leave his own mark on hithtory. Who would find thomeone who could deal with all hith anger and help him thoothe it. I could watch it all, AA.”

 

“I'm not that old but my life theemth kind of uthelethh now. I wath thuppothed to thpend the retht of my life with you. I wanted to thpend the retht of my life with you at my thide, watching our thon grow up into thomeone he and we could be proud of. All of uth could be proud of. But I...”

 

He swallowed drily, throat itching and eyes burning.

 

“It'th only me that'th left of uth, AA. I mithh you. I withh you could come back to me. I withh you would jutht thtand in our living room again and thay _Fooled you!_ even if that'th ath impothhible ath KK not loving Crabdad.”  
  
“Tell me, AA. Ith it wrong that I might move on? That I might love thomeone elthe in a way that I had alwayth retherved for you? Thhould I even move on? What am I thuppothed to tell him, AA? What am I thuppothed to tell this idiotic excuthe of a human being? Would I be happier without him in my life?”

 

Would he? Eridan made him gnash his teeth together, made him roll his eyes and occasionally, Sollux wanted to do nothing more than wrap his hands around Eridan's pale neck and squeeze for being such an asshole. But Eridan also made him grin, made him laugh and tease and he was comfortable around the author. He liked it when Eridan's face would light up and how it would fall after an insult, a challenging look followed by one of triumph whenever he thought he'd won. How Eridan twisted his rings when he was nervous, how he would adjust his scarf when he wasn't comfortable. How he always said Sollux' name with a frustrated sneer in his voice an insult and a victory for Sollux.

 

He liked being around Eridan.

 

“AA? Pleathe. What can I do now? What if the way I feel about him ithn't the way I think it ith or what he wantth it to be? What if it turnth out that I only want to be his friend? That I'm not interethted in men that way? Are you-”

 

Sollux choked up, stifling his sobs as he reached up to remove his glasses, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes as his shoulders shook.

 

“Are you going to be dithappointed, AA? That I'm thinking about moving on?”

 

Guilt was eating away at him. Guilt was making his stomach churn and his chest burn. Reality felt like an endless fall right now and one way or another, he'd crash against a wall and crack. He was torn into two, the need to move tugging at his side and the old, the security and knowledge of having a loving son and having had a loving wife pulling at the other.

 

What was right? What was wrong?

 

“AA, pleathe! Anything. Jutht. A hint. A nudge.”

 

Nothing.

 

No wind, no sudden light to guide his way, no imaginary hand on his shoulder or ghostly white arms around him.

 

This wasn't one of the movies Karkat enjoyed so much. This was life. Cold harsh life in which miracles didn't exist and in which decisions could mean everything and nothing at the same time. But there was always opportunity, Sollux could always choose at the end of the road.

 

_Which road do you want to follow?_

 

The one which was well worn, the one he had threaded before, the one which led to his regular days, the ones with Karkat and his work and his visits to Aradia's grave?

 

Or the other one which was entirely unknown? Would he be able to walk this one with all the love and heartbreak, with all the joy and confusion it could bring? It was uncertain, unstable, with someone at his side who he might not end up loving after all, with someone who he had only known for a handful of months. Another man.

 

Sollux made a decision.

 

Right now, labels didn't matter. Who and what he liked didn't matter. All that mattered was what he _wanted_.

 

Back when they had decided to keep Karkat, to not give him away because they might not have handled taking care of a kid at their age, they had both felt as if they'd jumped from a high cliff into the cold water.

 

Maybe it was time for another leap of faith.

 

Sollux didn't care that it was two in the morning and that normal people slept at this hour. He pulled out his cellphone and selected Eridan's number from his contact list. It rang. And rang. Until the mailbox message started up.

 

With a knot of anxiety twisting in his stomach, Sollux ended the call.

 

And dialled Eridan's number again.

 

This time, the author picked up, a cross between a sleepy whine and an irritated snarl in his voice.

 

“Whoever this is better have a very good reason or I'll find out where you live. And I will make sure you never, ever call someone at this hour--”

 

“Tuethday. 11 am, the thmall café next to Dolorotha'th.”

 

There was a long pause before the rustling sound of Eridan sitting up crackled through the speakers.

 

“Sollux? Is that a-”

 

“Yeth.”

 

Eridan, now far wider awake on his end of the call, tilted his head back to give the ceiling an absolutely pleased look, a dopey smile tugging at his lips.

 

It was 2:16 in the morning and Sollux Captor had just agreed to go on a date with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The AO3 version has now caught up with the kink meme/tumblr one. Updates may come a lot slower. Thank you for sticking with me until now! <3 You're all awesome people. :D


	10. Chapter 9

Sollux could count the dates he had gone on after Aradia's death on one hand. He didn't even have to use a single finger because after his wife had died, he had stayed as far away from dates as he could. He had his son to take care of, work to do and a family to talk to when he needed to meet up with someone else. If he ever felt the need to talk to someone outside of his family, which was as rare as Karkat not being grumpy for a day, he could always brave the raspberry bushes, lean over his fence and talk with his neighbour. The chances of the man being somewhere else were slim, Equius Zahhak enjoyed taking old cars apart in his lawn, tinkering with them and recreating them from their skeleton bodies. The times he wasn't around were far and between, his house mate Nepeta more often than not the reason why the man was not in his lawn.

 

The only time Sollux had ever regretted having the pair as neighbours had been that one horrifying afternoon which none of them would mention ever again.

 

And if the software designer needed to talk to someone else who wasn't a mechanical genius with the social skills of an awkward pony, Sollux could still drive Karkat to school or pick him up and hang around to talk to Feferi for a bit. There were certain limits to what they could talk to each other about, of course. But the teacher rarely failed to get a grin out of Sollux and he would always find something to say or talk about when the expression on Feferi's face suggested that her mother had given her yet another call.

 

It was an easy companionship between the two of them and both were fine with it.

 

With Sollux occupied and mostly content with his social situation, the number of dates had remained at a total of zero.

 

There was always this tiny part in his brain that would have been fine with the number of dates remaining that low. The quiet, nostalgic and cranky part of him, the one who had a routine carved into stone, did not want things to change. Everything had been going well enough so nothing would have the change, right?

 

Only that Sollux had _wanted_ things to change. He had made his decision and gone through with it even if he had spent the trip back home fishing out his cellphone and contemplating calling it all off after all. But, surprisingly, the urge to go back to routine and security hadn't managed to win. The cellphone had ended up tucked away in his pocket next to his keys. Because this weird part of him, the one that liked to tease Eridan and banter back and forth with him, the one which enjoyed the way Eridan would frown or sulk or snarl before grinning and shooting his own come-back, the way he would look pleased with himself when things went smoothly, that part felt giddy. That one part of him was now strong enough to not waver under pressure. It even looked forward to the date and what it would entail, crowing loudly about how things would go smoothly.

 

The only problem was that Sollux doubted that things would go that way.

 

He was a pessimist by nature.

 

And as a pessimist, he didn't believe in the easy way out or that things wouldn't crash and burn. They could easily go down the drain, the date could turn out to be the worst date both participants would ever have had, Eridan could just be yanking Sollux' chain and pull a 'Fooled you!'. Why had he called the asshole again and asked him out?

 

Right. Because it had felt like the right thing to do.  Because he felt something like affection for the author. And because, Sollux had pulled a face at the realization, he held the slightest inkling of respect for Eridan. Besides, Eridan has already shown that he wasn't joking around or looking for an easy lay. Everyone would have stopped attempting to court him for fun after the first couple of growled insults. Not Eridan though, he had stuck around taken the punches, rolled with them and thrown them back at Sollux.

 

Not a lot of people could take scathing insults that easily and then manage to take both Eridan's and Sollux' words and twist them into affectionate feelings.

 

Into those kind of affectionate feelings that made Sollux' stomach curl very awkwardly. Wonderful.

 

Tuesday morning, Sollux sighed, rolled out of bed and went downstairs to prepare breakfast. Karkat would be up soon and they would need to have a little chat.

 

\---

 

Karkat knew the instant that he could smell the apple-pancakes that his father was going to announce something very unpleasant to him. It was somewhat of a ritual, a secret code between them. Sollux knew Karkat loved the taste of apple-pancakes and found out it would help Karkat keep his temper in check. If not completely, then at least enough for the boy to not start cursing as much as he did. Considering cursing was like breathing to the young boy, this was an accomplishment.

 

However, the smell of slightly bitter apples together with sweet pancakes made Karkat's mouth not only water, a weary sort of feeling was starting to clump together in the pitch of his stomach. Something was up. It was literally in the air.

 

With his eyebrows knitted together, Karkat slipped out of his bed, picking Crabdad up along the way to the door, tucking the plush crab under his arm. At least he would have an object to throw or hide behind if things got too much for him to handle. Crabdad had always served him well, worn down as the toy was, he still provided a lot of security to Karkat, even if he didn't always like admitting to it.

 

With a deep breath, Karkat opened the door and peeked outside. Yes, there was no doubt now. The smell wafting up the stairs was neither waffles nor simple pancakes. Stealthily, he crept towards the stairs, pressing his back against the wall. He was a man on a mission.

 

Karkat was pretty sure that the Mission Impossible theme wasn't coming from any speakers but from inside his head. A small grin slipped onto his face as he cranked his head to try and look into the kitchen. Nothing, not even a pair of mismatching socks was in sight. But judging by the noises coming from the room, Karkat was certain that his father was in there. No repeating the events of the November from the year before, where his father had had an epiphany, disappeared into his room and forgotten about the food still on the stove.

 

Sometimes, Karkat wondered if his father did these things on purpose. Then he remembered that he had a one track mind where his precious computers were involved and while Sollux was not always the best parent in the entire world, he wouldn't attempt to set the house on fire on purpose.

 

Another calming breath and Karkat was on the move again, slowly climbing down the stairs, stepping past the creaky one which would give him away. Crabdad was smushed against his chest with a tight hold, he didn't want to drop his friend and endanger their mission by giving their position away. With a soft 'thump', he jumped over the last step and held his breath. Had his father heard him? Had he noticed him being on the move?

 

There was just a clank as the pan scraped against the stove and the sound of a drawn out yawn.

 

Perfect, his father was still oblivious to all this. He was the master of sneakiness, he was like a fierce animal, a goose or a dragon or a lion! He would just have to do a roll into the kitchen and press Crabdad against Sollux' back and he would win this, he was a hunter on the prowl, head low and ready to pounce--

 

Wait.

 

Karkat cursed under his breath as he buried his face in his hands. He was acting like Nepeta, teacher-assistant and witness to the raspberry bushes incident. Fuck.

 

This was incredibly silly.

 

Sollux poked his head out of the kitchen and raised an eyebrow, lips curled into a smirk.

 

“Are you coming in or what, KK?”

 

With a cross between a pout and a frown on his lips, chin jutted out defiantly, Karkat marched into the war zone that was their kitchen.

 

\---

 

Breakfast was not a very noisy affair. Karkat kept shooting Sollux suspicious glances while the adult sipped at his coffee and would take an occasional bite out of the two small pancakes practically soaked with the honey Sollux had added to them. He knew that Karkat was weary and waiting for the bomb to drop. Neither of them was stupid, both knew that apple-pancakes meant one thing and one thing only.

 

Bad news for Karkat.

 

The only thing left to announce was what kind of bad news it would be this time.

 

With a small grin hidden behind his cup of coffee, Sollux watched Karkat's brain race for ideas. Had his son done something wrong? Broken something? Obviously not or he would have looked far more guilt ridden because Karkat's pokerface was as good as a Windows Vista computer after its first month. Tests were also out, Karkat had done well enough on his last ones. Grin widening slightly, Sollux watched Karkat rule that option out as well.

 

Finally, eyebrows drawn together enough to make deep wrinkles show up, Karkat looked up from his breakfast, scrubbing his mouth free from all that maple syrup he had dumped on them and held his breath. It was obvious he wanted to say something, wanted to explode or growl or sulk at Sollux but instead, Karkat employed the old technique he had figured out when he was four.

 

Hold your breath if you don't want to yell.

 

The silence went on until Sollux placed his cup on the table with a soft clanking noise. No point in drawing this out any longer. As much as he enjoyed seeing his son get confused and slightly irritated, this was serious and Karkat deserved to be treated with honesty instead of half truths. This involved his son as well and he didn't want to drop this on Karkat's shoulders unexpectedly by having him walk in on something he didn't want his son to see.

 

“KK, I'm going to meet with Ampora today.”

 

“Him again? You'd think with all the stuff you bought together, he would have enough computers to make a throne out of them and call himself king of asshats. Never mind that he's already the prince of poncetown, oh no. He needs to reign over a bigger empire, an empire big enough to handle his overly inflated ego! And which kingdom could that possibly be? Wait, is that...? I do believe it is! Look Dad, it's the mayor of dumbass town and he's ready to hand his crown over to the one person who happens to be a breathing insult to every author known--”

 

Sollux, torn between laughing gleefully at his son's creativity and trying to stand up for Eridan, cleared his throat and shot his son a grin. It was time to take the middle road and take the wind out of Karkat's sails.

 

“It'th going to be a date.”

 

Karkat's rant came to a stuttering halt as his eyes widened and his mouth opened in an unvoiced shriek of disbelief.

 

“Grothh, KK. I didn't want to know what half-chewed pancaketh looked like. Thwallow your food.”

 

The following stunned silence lasted for about three seconds before Karkat did as he was told, lest he choke and delay his objection for longer than necessary. The fork he had been waving around as he had ranted about the qualities Eridan possessed (or did not possess) dropped to the ground as two small palms hit the table's surface. Sollux could practically touch the little storm cloud forming above Karkat's head and for a whole second, he could enjoy the rich red colour his son's face had taken before Karkat opened his mouth, words tumbling from his mouth so fast that Sollux was barely able to follow.

 

“A date?! Dad! Did that fuckass brainwash you into doing this? Is this a dare? Were you high when you agreed to go with him? Did Miss Peixes set you both up and now neither of you want to back out?! What the fuck, you could have told me a lot sooner like yesterday, or the day before or as soon as you had agreed to go on that date! Ewww, Dad, with _him_? Didn't we just establish that Ampora is the worst choice ever, this is disgusting--!”

 

“What ith? Me dating men?”

 

Idly, Sollux raised his coffee to his lips again to hide his frown and knitted eyebrows behind it. He had expected the explosion, the anger and the shouting but he hadn't considered the distinct possibility that Karkat would react like this to his father being interested in men. Or rather, a man, period. He still wasn't sure if he was fine with going on dates with men other than Eridan. He wasn't really inclined to find out either way.

 

But he honestly hadn't considered the option of Karkat rejecting the idea, his son loved his paternal grandparents to death and Sollux still vividly remembered the fight Karkat had gotten himself into when someone had insulted his grandfathers. Had his son's opinion changed while Sollux had been busy working on his projects, working with Eridan and flinging insults back and forth while watching Eridan make awkward attempts at voicing what he really wanted? Fuck, he was a bad father, he should have spent more time with his son to make sure he was sound and healthy and still his sulky, loud self. Instead, Karkat had apparently taken on homophobic tendencies.

 

Inside his head, Sollux cursed himself for messing up his son. He was the most useless father.

 

For a couple of moments, Karkat remained quiet until he, in a motion perfected by years of practice which had started on the day he had realized that he could actively control them, rolled his eyes.

 

“Dad, I couldn't care less if you started macking on snails but Eridan Ampora? Seriously? Why _him_ of all people?”

 

So Sollux hadn't actually messed up. Inwardly, he breathed a sign of relief. Of course he hadn't messed up, where had that come from in the first place? He was a decent father with a son who was way too sharp for his own good. And who held a lasting grudge against Eridan Ampora.

 

But the underlying _Why anyone at all?_ still hung above them like a dark cloud. Weren't the two of them enough anymore? Didn't Sollux love Aradia anymore? Was their tiny little bubble which their shared with only a few people going to expand to let in one more, a single person who got Karkat to hiss and spit like an agitated cat, a person who had given Sollux too many headaches to count and who would most likely attempt to latch onto his little spot in the bubble, unable to let go even if things wouldn't work out? Where was their little world going?

 

Things were going to change. And judging by the closed off expression on Karkat's face, he didn't like the possibility of things changing and wouldn't approve of it any time soon.

 

But Sollux, for all he loved his son, had made up his mind. Karkat and his love for Aradia had been something to hold on to, to use as a crutch when he felt as if he couldn't move on. But he couldn't rely on his son and dead wife for the rest of his life. He needed to take one step forward and see where to road took him instead of shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

 

“He athked and I agreed and I'm not going to change my mind on a whim thith time. I know you don't like him, even I thtill want to punch him from time to time. But I'm going.”

 

Karkat's shoulders slumped in maybe not defeat but maybe a tactical retreat, expression on his face calculating and angry and worried to the bone, an expression which made Sollux' stomach churn. No child of seven years should be wearing such an expression. But this was something he needed to do, something he needed to be selfish about and couldn't dismiss because his son didn't approve.

 

“I really, really don't like him, Dad.”

 

“Not a lot of people do. He'th an utter douchebag. But I agreed on thith date for a reathon and I'm not backing out. Unlethh you can come up with a valid argument, KK, I'm going and no amount of thulking or angry yelling will be able to change that.”

 

Later, barely veiled glee coloured Karkat's voice as he gave their car a look of admiration before patting the door he had just closed behind him. The odd steam rising from beneath the engine hood promised nothing but more trouble and headaches for Sollux Captor.

 

“I'm pretty sure this counts as a valid argument, Dad.”

 

With a noise Sollux had only heard his son make when movies ended the way he wanted them to, Karkat turned around and walked walked off towards the school.

 

He could be such a little shit that Sollux was almost proud of him.

 

Almost.

 

\---

 

If there was one upside to having his life scarred by his neighbours forever, it was the fact that Sollux would just have to idly glance towards the raspberry bushes and Equius, holding on to his screw driver like a lifeline, would start sweating hard enough for his hair to cling to his scalp. The tall, imposing man which towered over Sollux by almost two heads would suddenly look a lot smaller and a lot more docile.

 

Until Sollux showed him the still smoking hood of his car. All it seemed to take for Equius to straighten his back, adjust his sunglasses and regain his posture was to lead him back into his own element.

 

Sollux knew all about feeling comfortable in one's own element.

 

The mechanic had taken his time to look at Sollux' car, tinkering here and there, half disappearing into the now open hood as he tried to assess the damage the car had taken. From what Sollux could hear, Equius kept muttering a lot of mechanical nonsense under his breath as he made Sollux fetch this and that and kept insulting the way Sollux had treated his car in the politest language Sollux had ever heard the mechanic muster. Equius was almost at par with Sollux' ex-father in law. After impatiently waiting for what felt like forever, Sollux had finally asked if his car would be fixed any time soon.

 

Sollux hadn't been sure if Equius had given him an annoyed or pitying look until the taller man had reached for a towel, rubbed his face against it and informed Sollux that no, his car wasn't going to run again today, yes, it was repairable but it would cost him a little bit. Yes, Equius would be able to do it for a lesser price but only because they were neighbours and only if Sollux promised to keep Karkat's mouth in check around Nepeta.

 

Sollux had rolled his eyes and agreed to the conditions. And if Karkat kept swearing around the teacher's assistant, well, he couldn't be held responsible for not flying in circles around his son like a helicopter now, could he?

 

The problem with this whole situation was that Sollux, for all he had told Eridan to be on time, was now running late himself. This day was already going down the drain and Eridan hadn't even been around to open his mouth yet.

 

Scowling, Sollux left Equius alone with his car, flipping his cellphone open to make two phone calls. Taxis were too damn expensive but after all Sollux had gone through to muster up the courage to agree to this date, he wanted to go. And if it was the last thing he did and if Eridan turned out to not be relationship material, he had at least done everything on his behalf to make this work. Or at least be there on time.

 

\---

 

“You're late.”

 

Eridan took an idle sip from his tea while Sollux, a little breathless but rolling his eyes regardless, gracelessly fell into the chair opposite of his date. It had taken forever to get ready and having the taxi be late despite the fact that he had told them he really, really needed it to be on time hadn't helped his situation either.

 

“Don't pretend you didn't lithten to the methhage I left on your phone at least once every five minuteth, Ampora,” Sollux shot back as he settled down, shoulders slouched and lips dropping into a small, unhappy scowl.

 

The downwards movement of the tips of Eridan's mouth told Sollux that he had hit bullseye and suddenly, the day seemed to be starting to look up. Why had he worried about being on time again? Teasing Eridan about his paranoia was much more entertaining. And he hadn't been able to take advantage of that awkwardness lately. It was time to make up for that.

 

“Did you mithh the thound of my voice that much, Eridan? Ithn't that jutht like the thhitty novelth you are writing, when the love interethtth finally admit to their... what did you write again in your noteth? Wathn't it thomething like ' _red, raw and deeply rooted, unbridled pathhion, love tho pure and bright that it would illuminate the world for nightth to come_ '? I think it wath thome purple thhit like that.”

 

“Your speech impediment is ruining the whole emotion behind the sentence!” There were two splotches of red on Eridan's cheek and he had set his tea down hastily, a snarl in his voice and a twist to his lips as his eyebrows knitted together, the picture of the righteously offended and unjustly criticised person.

 

It was like watching a fish fluff up when it felt like it was being attacked.

 

Sollux didn't bother smothering his laughter at the sight, a gleeful grin on his face as Eridan spluttered and snarled. “Hey, I didn't write that crap down and left it lying randomly around your houthe. That wath all you.”

 

“You still had not right to--!” Eridan, apparently noticing the looks a couple of nearby people shot him, took a deep breath and settled down, smoothing his hair back and straightening his back into a posture of condescending indifference. “I doubt you would ever find a piece of classic literature that you would approve of, simply because you have no taste whatsoever.”

 

“Are you trying to make me laugh, Ampora? Becauthe no one would call your novelth pieceth of clathhic literature, even if you got your plotth to bite them in the athh and thay ' _take me now oooh Mithter Reader ooooh_ '.” The higher pitched voice Sollux was trying out almost got a tiny grin out of Eridan before the other man got his expression back under control and returned to fuming silently.

 

“Stop mocking my books, Sollux, that's fucking rude. I want you to write a short story, a good short story, without it getting away from you and turning into what you call 'purple'!”

 

Sollux, peered over the edge of the menu he had picked up and gave Eridan a shit-eating grin. “The mouthe wath hungry. The mouthe got eaten by a thtupid thnake. Tragically, the thnake'th thtomach did not take well to the mouthe and both died. The end.”

 

“You have no imagination at all, Sol.” Despite the fact that Eridan sounded exasperated and his voice filled with offended dryness, there was a small crinkle around his eyes that spoke more of fondness than real anger. Sollux, who had never been good at reading people and who spent more time with his computer than was strictly healthy, almost missed it.

 

But his heart skipped a beat when he caught sight of it.

 

There was a comfortable silence between them as Eridan nipped at his tea before setting the empty cup back down, leaning forward to place his hands on the table, splayed over each other with the rings slightly clinking together.

 

Never ever had the software designer thought he would miss such a noise as much as he had but watching Eridan's fingers weave together and shift every so slightly, rings gleaming under the artificial light, Sollux realized that there were little things in life he had grown used to and was willing to get even more attached to. Watching Eridan fidget like this, hearing him cross and uncross his ankles under the table was relaxing.

 

It was also way too amusing, the way Eridan's hands were inching over the table but stopped whenever Sollux spared them a glance.

 

The author was really as subtle as a brick.

 

Snickering, Sollux put the menu back down, gesturing the waitress over with one hand while the other fell, very inconspicuously, right next to Eridan's, brushing against them. A brush, nothing more.

 

First dates always sucked. Not that Sollux had had many but the nervousness was very close to the one he had felt with Aradia. Their conversations had been less bickering and more teasing with the occasional jittery grin and smile shot at each other back then but this...

 

Watching Eridan try to hide a smile behind a cough and his scarf made Sollux, light-headed and happy. A dizzying feeling he thought he would never experience again.

 

But here he was, almost holding hands with a shitty novelist who thought he was hipster enough to wear scarves and glasses wherever he went, who thought that sneering at things he didn't like in public was perfectly acceptable and claiming he was the best of the best while writing very purple stories that people apparently liked. Who also happened to have very nice hands and a sense of humour Sollux wanted to make fun of forever, who could take and exchange of heated words and not fold like a house of cards. Who had enough pride to not take mockery of his books well, did not take insulting his profession well. Who had enough spirit and fire to get angry enough that he seemed taller, more impressive than he was.

 

Who was also only as human as Sollux, slightly nervously giddy, filled to the brim with a weird glowing sort of energy.

 

If someone had told Sollux this was going to happen a couple of months ago, he would have laughed at them and told them to keep on dreaming.

 

He still wasn't sure if he should be horrified and relieved that slowly, crawling at a snail's pace, things were starting to work out.

 

\---

 

“My family. Seriously?” Eridan raised an eyebrow and leaned back, somehow still prim and proper like the uptight man he pretended to be. The tea cup made almost no sound as it met the table's surface again, a little splash indicating that Eridan had added a sugar cube to his tea while Sollux rolled his eyes in a way that Karkat would have appreciated and approved of.

 

“No, Eridan, I wath kidding. Who wantth to know about the family relationth of a fishface anyway? It'th not ath if I am trying to get to know you, that would be thuch an utter wathte of time. Why did I come here again? Right, to thpend time with a posh douchebag who inthithtth on being thecretive for the thake of appearing more appealing. Go on then, therective one. Appeal to the man who knowth what kind of thhitty fanfiction you have thtored on your computerth.”

 

“Fuck you, Sol!” The author narrowed his eyes at the software designer, lips pressed into a thin line. His temper was flaring and that was something Sollux had aimed for. Getting Eridan to drop his perfectionist act was a lot of fun. “Did it ever occur to your measly mind that I simply don't want to talk about my family just like you don't want to talk about Aradia?”

 

“Meathly mind--?” Sollux swallowed the laughter threatening to spill over at the display of anger before the rest of the sentence caught up with him. And he almost caught the bait and latched on but the smug little quirk which appeared for a few seconds gave away what Eridan was apparently really trying to accomplish. “Are you trying to dithtract me from the topic by making me feel bad or getting me angry? No one hath tried that one before, Eridan, you are tho imaginative. Thtop trying to make a big deal out of hiding it, you're obviouthly itching to tell me all about your dramatic patht.”

 

There was a very short amount of time where something seemed to flicker behind the anger and the sharpness of Eridan's eyes and suddenly, Sollux wasn't so certain about Eridan trying to be secretive and mysterious for the sake of it anymore. What if Eridan really didn't want to talk about his family? If that was really the case, the man was enough of an actor to try and hide himself behind a well made curtain.

 

“Eridan. Yeth or no awkward patht tharing time?”

 

A snort was his answer before Eridan picked his cup back up and brought it to his lips to take a nice, long sip. His mind seemed to be spinning in circles and he was chewing on the inside of his cheek before he finally shrugged his shoulders and took off his glasses to clean them.

 

“Does the name Dualscar mean anything to you?”

 

Sollux' eyebrows knitted together. He had read about the name before, at Eridan's house. On his laptop.

 

“What doeth your thhitty thelf-inthert fic have to do with thith?”

 

“Nothing.” Eridan's voice was irritated, the jab at his private hobby of writing fanfiction not going unnoticed. “I am talking about the man, an artist everyone called Dualscar who was a great explorer, the one who knew more about the ocean than anyone else, who knew the tide and the waves and cliffs of the world like the back of his hand, the one who swam with the swarms of fish and the whales, who was as passionate about seahorses as no other.”

 

The admiration in Eridan's voice and the wistful look in his eyes made Sollux pause. Like this, slightly unguarded and enthusiastic and not stuck up, Eridan looked more handsome than ever. He looked so happy and pleased with himself and the world that the tiny part of Sollux, which he had assumed was withered and dry, woke up, growing like nature after the first warm spring day. Involuntarily, his lips quirked into a smile.

 

Until he actually remembered the man Eridan was talking about.

 

“You mean the crazy guy who hunted down thharkth, wrethtled with them and them decided to keep their teeth around ath trophieth? The same perthon who poked at thnakes with variouth equipment until they got fed up and tried to attack him? The one with the thhitty stage name who had hith TV thhow cancelled becauthe he wath an narcithhithtic athhole? That Dualthcar?”

 

“He was my father.” There was a bristle, a whisper of a promise in Eridan's tone. A quiet danger which would mean nothing good for anyone who would make fun of this man Eridan admired even after all his failures. Sollux knew that tone well, know the promise intimately enough because his own was wrapped around a bright smile, long messy hair and the most wonderful girl he would ever meet.

 

So Sollux shut his mouth and wordlessly motioned for Eridan to continue.

 

The author glared, mouth a thin line, the only warning Sollux was getting to not interrupt again. Their date was going into and utterly smashing direction. At least Eridan seemed to take Sollux' silence somewhat positively, even if his shoulders were tense.

 

Sollux couldn't blame him. Dualscar, from what he had seen on TV back when he was still young enough to watch someone anger dangerous animals and think it was the most brilliant thing in the world, was a man of two extremes. There was no middle ground.

 

“There was a lot of bullshit going on around because of his relationship with a much younger woman. She were barely legal when they started dating but Father always told me that they didn't give two shits about that. I don't know a lot of stories about her but they clearly must have seen something in each other because they hit it off. I could probably try to tell you a romantic tale about how they fought the wilderness together and how the conquered the unexplored lands to make them their own or how he kidnapped her away from her home but that stuff is for Disney movies and not real life.”

 

Eridan, eyes trained on a spot in the distance, leaned back.

 

A glorious life. A life filled with adventure and the discovery of nature, of exotic animals, of the deepest parts of the sea.

 

That's what Eridan's father had always wanted. And so had the young woman he had met in a remote place somewhere in a small town in the far south. Who had bigger, better dreams than being stuck at home and getting married like her old traditional family wanted her to, married into an equally rich and respectable family with the same traditional values.

 

Wild eyed and with a ferocious grin, the man called Dualscar by most of the world, had fallen for her hard and had indeed whisked her away, kidnapped from her small town and her boring life and offered her something grander. She had never looked back once and ignored all urgent calls, letters or messages from her family.

 

A wild and lively young woman who hungered for more than what the world had to offer for her. And Dualscar was her way out, the man with the fire in his heart and a head full if obtainable dreams. They travelled, discovered and lived together. Loved life and each other to their fullest while they could.

 

Pregnancies were not to be found anywhere in their future plans. It didn't stop it from happening.

 

For five years she had barely travelled, the child always nearby, in her arms, sitting on her hip or later, when he grew taller and older and found out that walking and exploring everything was a delight, clutching her hand or to her leg. She told him stories because the ones in the books were boring and taught Eridan nothing. Instead, she spun stories from her own imagination, of pirates and treasure, talking amphibians who were useless to the boy who saved them all, who could fly like the wind, stories of betrayal and oppression and rebellion and above all, destiny.

 

For five years Dualscar's lover had been able to sit still and watch him do what she had wanted to for all of her life. Watch him garner attention and outrage alike, a furious storm sweeping through TV shows and interviews, who shone brightly.

 

For five years, she had watched him follow his destiny while she rotted away with a child who looked more and more like his father every day, who didn't need her for stories any more because he was starting to think up his own.

 

Resentment was an ugly, ugly thing.

 

Spinneret, tired of waiting for life to offer her another chance, simply decided to find one on her own. Alone, without help, without someone else to steal the spotlight from her, someone she could look at and not find herself sneering because he was growing boring and predictable and way too comfortable with a life run by his manager. She had outgrown her need for Eridan's father.

 

She left one day, leaving no trace behind to follow.

 

And father and son were left alone for the first time. And while the actor and explorer Dualscar had once tried to fight a bear and had managed to get away only with scarring, who was someone who had seen alligators closer than anyone had before, he had no idea how to raise his own child. He didn't know how to handle Eridan's moods or how to explain to him that his mother was nowhere to be found. He didn't know Eridan's favourite meal or why his son had such a vivid imagination. He didn't understand why his son would rather tell of adventures that were impossible than step out of the house and seek his own.

 

Neither party knew how to handle the change.

 

It was fortunate that Eridan's grandfather, already quite old and with hair so white that it seemed see-through, heard about Spinneret's sudden disappearance. He knew his son well enough to know that he had no idea how to handle a child of five years who had just lost his mother. Forehead deeply wrinkled, he had arrived on their doorstep one day, taken one look at his son and grandson before ushering them inside.

 

Ten days later, Eridan hugged his father, standing on his tiptoes to get even close to being able to wrap his arms around his calves. Dualscar had snorted but grinned, lifted his son up and told him to be nice to his grandfather and yes, Eridan would be allowed to visit him soon enough so he would learn how to capture real animals because that didn't always go well, not smoothly because his work wasn't without danger and while yes, he liked to appear as if he didn't do any mistakes during his job, he wasn't flawless.

 

Things worked like that for a while, Eridan visiting his father whenever both of them had time, whenever Dualscar didn't have to deal with the newest scandal, whenever homework and school weren't burying knee-deep in trouble and grumbled complaints. It worked, until Eridan was fifteen years old, called out of his biology class halfway through and informed that his father had been bitten by a spider.

 

And while his father had been strong, tall and lucky enough to escape grave injuries until that point, poison wasn't something he had been immune to.

 

“My grandfather is still alive, who knows how. He lives in Scotland now, in the tiny summer house we used to visit. I finished school, went to college, got my first couple of short stories published during the time. Very successful short stories, too. I earned more with them than you have ever earned for one of your measly projects.”

 

Tea and coffee had long gone cold and the rush of lunch-time customers had already ebbed away. There weren't a lot of people left in the café, just an old couple near the doorway and a couple of teenagers who appeared to be skipping school.

 

The jab at Sollux' skills went sailing past the software designer, he knew that it was payback for mocking Eridan's father and so he let it go. Eridan deserved to come out as the winner once in a while.

 

“Now then.” The author waved his hand around lazily to attract the waiter's attention. “Despite the fact that there are much more skilled people out there, who could build computers you would drool over in a very unrefined way, you still have a job to finish. We're going shipping for computer parts next, Sol.”

 

The day Sollux Captor would ever understand Eridan's mood swings would be a miraculous day indeed.

 

\---

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Sollux didn't bother looking up from his cellphone as he typed in the number of the taxi service.

 

“Remember that part where my car ith currently being manhandled by my big, thweaty neighbour? And how my thon is home, alone with haplethh mountains of homework which he'th going to ignore in favour of the DVDth he hathn't watched yet becauthe homework boreth him and I need to go and make thure he'th actually doing it.”

 

Eridan fidgeted with his scarf before straightening his back and giving Sollux a sharp look.

 

“I could give you a ride.”

 

Sollux stared at Eridan for a while before flipping his cellphone shut and shrugging his shoulders.

 

“Okay. Your car ith the horrible purple one over there, ithn't it?” As Sollux walked over to the car, Eridan was left standing, looking utterly put-off and slightly irritated.

 

“That was easier than expected. Hey Sol, you should give straight answers like this one all the time, it would improve your life immensely and make you look less like a douche!”

 

Sollux flipped Eridan off without even turning around.

 

\---

 

Eridan turned the motor off and for a couple of seconds, neither of them said anything, only stewing in their own awkward atmosphere. Sollux wasn't sure what to expect or if he should be expecting anything more right now. This was usually where participants of a date were supposed to say goodbye and go on their more or less merry way to do whatever they wanted. But Eridan had made no indication that he was going to say anytime soon and when Sollux glanced over, Eridan's eyebrows were drawn together in a frown of concentration. He was obviously working on something so Sollux, amused by the way Eridan's face went red and then pale until it finally settled in a light pink dust. Grinning, he rested his elbow on the dashboard before nesting his cheek against his palm and decided to quietly enjoy the show of Eridan making a fool out himself by being unable to settle on a emotion.

 

Finally, the author cleared his throat and looked at Sollux, the superior, smug look which had started to appear on his face falling away at the sight of Sollux' wide grin.

 

“What are you grinning at?”

 

“You.”

 

Sollux had never realized that Eridan could look this painfully shy. Considering that Eridan wore a look of arrogance and haughtiness most of the time, this was a nice change of pace. And it made Sollux' heart give a tiny little flutter.

 

Eridan rolled his eyes behind his glasses before pushing them further up his nose, scowling openly at his date, time ticking by until the author finally schooled his expression back into the carefully controlled mask.

 

“I'll let the comment slide this time, if only because I enjoyed myself today. Even if you are a nerdy imbecile.”

 

Sollux' grin widened at what could only be a self-defence reflex from the other man, leaning back to waggle his eyebrows at Eridan. He could read the other like an open book right now. That and the way he acted seemed to throw Eridan off.

 

“Whatever, Eridan. I know I had a lot of fun getting you riled up today tho really. I don't care if your conceited little brain thinkth it wath only decent enough.” Chuckling, Sollux turned to open the door on his side of the car, they could finish their goodbyes once he had exited the it.

 

It was a good natured, half hearted jab and a tease but Eridan seemed to take the comment very seriously. He bit down on his bottom lip and reached over to grasp Sollux' hand. It was as if a switch had been flipped, the stifling atmosphere from before returned with a vengeance and made Sollux peek at Eridan over the rim of his glasses, one eyebrow raised high enough to disappear under his fringe. Eridan looked nervous and if Sollux squinted, it actually looked as if the other was chewing on the inside of his cheek.

 

Until Eridan seemed to give himself a much needed kick, moving, leaning towards Sollux' side of the car, still grasping the other hand firmly with his own and he was still leaning closer and closer and Sollux could feel the breath against his face. He was frozen, eyes widening slightly. He had expected this date to end in many possible ways but this, this had not been among the list and Eridan was still moving closer to him and the author looked really starved for affection for a moment. Wait, when had Sollux turned his head and started to raise a hand which was apparently on its' way to cup Eridan's cheek, what was this sudden romantic shit just happening, this wasn't going as planned, he wasn't _ready for this--_

 

The loud bang coming from Sollux' side of the car made them jump apart and the software designer whirled around to look at-

 

A small hand?

 

Oh. That was a very familiar glower. More than familiar, Sollux saw it every single day, when he teased his son, ruffled his hair just to see him shout and scowl, when he picked him up to carry him upstairs when Karkat had fallen half-asleep on the couch again.

 

This was indeed his son peering in through the car's window, looking less than pleased with this development.

 

Smothering a mix of a cough and a laugh behind his hand, Sollux unbuckled himself and opened the door a crack, waiting for Karkat, who's personal little storm-cloud was working overtime today, to step back.

 

“Talk to you later, Eridan. Don't get yourthelf lotht in your thhitty little novel world. I'll call you thoon enough.”

 

Eridan watched the pair walk back towards the house, Karkat gesturing angrily, waving his arms around, Sollux' smirk half visible thanks to his turned head.

 

The author let his forehead meet the steering wheel and groaned.

 

So close and yet so far.

 

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Biggest. Unplanned. Hiatus. Ever.
> 
> Hi guys, I'm not dead? Sorry for taking so long. :/ Inspiration is kind of shitty at the moment and has been since March so I hope you can forgive me for that.
> 
> My thanks to those who have patiently waited for a new chapter to come rolling around and I hope you're not too disappointed! Thank you very much for reading and over 110 kudos and all these lovely, lovely comments!!
> 
> Special thanks to zeecatfish for giving me the swift kick in the butt I needed to finish their chapter. ;3 Don't let the tanglebuddies eat your soul!


	11. Chapter 10

When the autumn weather got cold enough for the rain to turn into the weird slush of water and snow which announced the slow arrival of winter, Sollux had realized two things.

 

One, Eridan Ampora hummed to himself when he thought no one was listening.

 

Two, the author cursed a lot more than people gave him credit for. While the man couldn't give Karkat a run for his money, Eridan got similarly creative with his insults.

 

Snow coated everything, painting a picture of a town in a white blanket. People were now wrapped up in hats and scarves and gloves and children ran along the side walks, laughing and kicking up snow wherever they went. Adults grumbled as they shovelled the snow from the paths leading to their front doors or sweeping it off their front porches or, in some cases, wiped it from their fences. Christmas lights quickly replaced left over Halloween lights which their owners should have removed weeks ago, reindeer made of plastic and lights graced gardens while windows were illuminated from the inside by even more decorations. The smell of Christmas cookies seemed to fill every house and men and women alike started dragging Christmas trees into their homes so their loved ones could adorn them with enough Christmas balls and little sledges and lights to make the branches droop under the weight.

By that time, Sollux had learned two more things about Eridan.

 

The reason why the author had not become an adventurer like his parents was simply because of circumstance and sheer, non-existent luck. A child who heard all about his parents being explorers wanted to become one as well. Young Eridan, proud of his father to his very bones and filled with ambition to become just like his mother, had then and there decided to try and seek out adventures on his own.

 

It did not end well.

 

After two broken arms, one broken leg and several endless scratches, falls and incidents, including a single horrible meeting with barbed wire, as well as a dog who had not taken well to Eridan's approaches, the young boy had decided that he was not made for adventuring. He wasn't the type who laughed a broken arm off or boasted about having needed surgery to sew a finger back on. No, his mother had filled him with too many dreams of the perfect adventure.

 

The other thing Sollux had learned was the fact that Eridan and animals did not get along. He had chalked it up to the dog incident and initially assumed the mutual dislike was limited to dogs but one afternoon, Sollux had found Eridan having a stare down with Nepeta's cat, a small, very fluffy thing whose tail twitched back and forth during the match.

 

Ultimately, both parties backed down and went on their ways.

 

There had been no way for Sollux to not tease Eridan about that incident a couple of times.

 

The only pets Eridan actually did keep at his house were a couple of fish in a huge tank. He fed them regularly, cleaned the tank religiously every ten days and Sollux had once caught him crooning at them and using what Aradia used to call baby babble.

 

One more thing to mock Eridan about.

 

It balanced out the fact that Eridan made fun of Sollux for talking to his computers as if they were real, breathing things.

 

In Sollux' defense, he only talked to them when he had gone a night without sleep and a child to drag him away form his computer.

 

But it were little things like this that chipped away at the barriers, at the unknown that existed between them. They hadn't known each other for years and years and knew the other like the back of their hands. There were stumbles and revelations, a comment which would earn one of them a raised eyebrow or a gesture, sometimes a laugh and a smug grin of approval. Tiny little pieces of the puzzle starting to fit together, to overlap and bleed into each other. Sollux started keeping tea around his house for when Eridan would visit, put the author's number on speed dial if only because Eridan had whined about it. Even if the author still insisted that it hadn't been whining, it had been informing Sollux calmly about a fact, no whining involved. He was a grown gentleman, thank you very much.

 

Sollux had laughed until Eridan, angry and embarrassed, had ended the phone call. He'd sulked for two whole days until Sollux, after consulting Feferi, had dropped by Eridan's house and apologized in person for assuming that Eridan, author of the highest calibre and secret winner of the most ridiculous hair award, whined like a little child.

 

They had promptly resumed bickering with each other as soon as Eridan had accepted the apology.

 

But Sollux hadn't been the only one to adjust his life to include Eridan. The author himself had proceeded to try and genuinely put effort into listening to Sollux' computer rants, to his rambles and had even tried to comprehend what Sollux, when struck by an idea, scribbled down on whatever surface he could find.

 

It was an honest effort from both sides and at one point, Sollux had told Eridan where he kept the spare key while Eridan had removed his own spare one from the ring of keys he carried around, holding it out to Sollux with slightly trembling fingers but a semi-haughty look, as if he was afraid of rejection.

 

Sollux wondered how long Eridan had carried the spare key around until he had found the courage to offer it to the software designer.

 

Quietly, just as the snow that had started to pile outside all of their houses, their relationship grew. Like vines, their lives curled together, branched off in some directions before melting together again. Beneath all the stifling cold and harsh conditions in which their relationship had started, a tiny little sapling continued to grow, leaves growing stronger, seeking the sun.

 

There was, however, still the issue of Karkat and Eridan not getting along.

 

\---

 

Winter was usually the time of the year during which Karkat would bundle himself up in thick jackets, boots and ridiculous black cap with cat ears Nepeta had knitted for him. Judging by the way the woollen accessory stretched further than it had last year, even looked close to exploding, this would be the last year for the cap. Sollux wasn't sure if his son would mourn the loss or sing hallelujahs while setting the remains on fire.

 

But bundled up, warm and safe and with a runny nose, Karkat would jump into the snow and play in it, drag Sollux away from his laptop to join him and they would spend entire afternoons battling each other until one of them cried Uncle or Equius got enough of their shouting and laughing and not very subtle cursing and would, in a seething but very calm and polite voice, demand that they cease their yelling and battles for the rest of the day. He had work to do and didn't need anyone distracting him from it by yelling like a lunatic.

 

And because Sollux, despite it all, respected the man and because Karkat, grudgingly, did too, they did as they were told and would always stroll back into their house, dripping wet and freezing and filled to the brim with contentment. The day would always be concluded with coffee and hot chocolate and a movie.

 

That had been their tradition for three years now so seeing Karkat, whose mood usually lifted when the first snow fell, stare out the window with a grumpy, angry expression before storming upstairs and brooding in his room, was puzzling. Where were the expectant glances towards his father? Where was the sudden appearance of his son in his thickest jacket, holding out Sollux' shoes and cap to him?

 

Instead, Karkat holed up in his room with his books and didn't appear again until dinner. Sollux, torn between worry and amusement, waited for five days, played along because he hoped Karkat would come to him and tell him about his worries. But then again, Karkat had issues with talking about issues. Especially his own, emotional issues. Which made their relationship very difficult sometimes.

 

Yes, Karkat knew that he could come and talk to his father about everything. But that didn't mean that he actually did. Karkat's thoughts were a convoluted mess when it came to emotions, not unlike Sollux. But unlike the software designer, Karkat didn't have over twenty years of dealing with tangled webs of feelings at his disposal. He was a kid, a kid with lines between his eyebrows from frowning, worrying and fretting so much. A kid who had problems who needed to get worked out but wouldn't let anyone else enough to try.

 

So Sollux did what any sensible parent would have done and marched into the war zone, holding Crabdad like a shield and wielding Karkat's favourite movie like a weapon. It took a lot of coaxing, some promises and a could of long suffering noises before the young boy could be coaxed into migrating downstairs to their couch, arms wrapped around his 'rescued', much loved plush animal and watching the intro to the movie. Half an hour in, he snuggled up to Sollux, arms wrapped around his father in a death grip and the older man knew that this was the time to talk to his son.

 

All signs pointed to something not being quite right.

 

“Tho KK. Ith there any reathon in particular you enjoy playing Rapunzel now?”

 

Karkat, dragged out from the lull the movie had pulled him into, blinked and tilted his head back to stare at his father as if the had grown a second and third head. Or possibly grown a second set of teeth.

 

“What the hell?”

 

Maybe a swear jar would help them both gather enough money for Karkat's future education. A dollar any time one of them said a bad word and they would be rich in no time flat. And it was something they could spring at Eridan too, considering that the author was just as bad as the two of them.

 

“What 'what'? You're all holed up in your room and doing thingth you don't want me to know about but find out about regardlethh. What are you up to, writing thongth about how your life will be beginning thoon?”

 

Groaning, Karkat pushed his face against Sollux' chest before glaring up at his father. “You do know that's not what Rapunzel is not about, right? Me staying in my room had nothing to do with how the movie goes, Dad! You are so terrible at this, why do I let you watch movies with me again? Oh yeah, to educate you! You should be grateful or you would go completely culturally inept!”

 

Sollux didn't bother hiding his grin. This was way too easy.

 

Karkat, who realized his was being played, snarled before turning his back to Sollux and sulkily focusing on the movie again, grumbling something about his father being a shithead.

 

While Sollux ran his fingers through Karkat's tangled hair absent-mindedly, he gave the swear jar idea some serious thought. Until he remembered that getting Karkat angry and huffy wasn't why he had set this up.

 

The younger between the two of them made an indignant noise when Sollux paused the movie and adjusted his body from his slouched position.

 

“Rapunzel joketh athide, KK. Why are you really curling up in your room and inthithting on brooding? You're not uthually thith clothed off. And in cathe you haven't noticed it, there'th thnow everywhere. And when I thay everywhere I mean everywhere, or haven't you noticed how the kid from Texas bundleth up when I come and pick you up? Do I need to thhove thnow down your thhirt before your brain will catch up?”

 

Karkat seemed unwilling to dignify his father with a response and curled up instead, hunched over and his arms crossed over his chest, all defence and silent glower. He was retreating into his shell again and Sollux sighed in response, sarcasm falling from his expression as he casually rested his arm on the back of their couch.

 

“I'm theriouthly worried and you know we're both horrible at thith heart to heart thing but throw me a bone here, KK.”

 

Most of the time, Sollux understood Karkat's moods by figuring out the events or reasoning behind it and found it justified. There were always limits to how much shit father and son could take from each other and would, occasionally, end in a rather spectacular snap-off before they both settled down and apologized. But Karkat, ball of anger and tangled confusion and affection that he was, seemed to refuse to even let the slightest hint pass through the cracks of his armour this time.

 

“What if--”

 

“It's about--”

 

Father and son stared at each other before Sollux shrugged and gestured for Karkat to carry on. The boy chewed on his bottom lip for a couple of seconds before he spoke up again, shoulders still hunched and obviously trying to hide himself in his oversized sweater.

 

“Is it going to be like this forever now? Your time being split up between your work and Eridan? And I get to drag you out of your room when you're overworking yourself like a dumbass and make sure you don't forget to eat? Or make you play games with me because I'm--”

 

It all seemed to overflow now, all the worries and thoughts which had been gathering over the last few weeks.

 

“Because I'm being replaced with some stupid author who has no respect for anything? I miss it, Dad! I miss going outside with you or doing anything with you at all because all I see you do is spend time with author-douchebag any more! What happened to your reassurances of us being a family?”

 

The hiccups in Karkat's voice was the only noise in the room. Sollux held his breath until he could be sure this was what had been plaguing Karkat for a long time. When nothing else followed, Sollux pulled Karkat on his lap and held him close, ignoring the flailing, short arms.

 

Sometimes, he forgot. He forgot that Karkat had the same abandonment and anxiety issues Sollux himself had when he was just a child, taken from his biological parents and given to his fathers. He's been so angry and seething, small teeth snapping and he had felt more like a cornered animal than an actual child. But his fathers had been patient with him. Had held him through nightmares, been there for him when he had thrown eardrum shattering tantrums, when Sollux had given them his first smile and made him feel like he was flying when the feeling of _home_ had finally settled in.

 

Sometimes he forgot because Sollux believed that being around would lessen the possibility of his son going through a similar thing. To a certain degree, it had worked. But the fear of being left behind was still there, still rooted firmly into Karkat's thoughts.

 

Worse.

 

Karkat, who had self-doubt gnawing on his every action on the worst days, was scared of being left behind for another, better person.

 

If there had ever been a time for their constant banter to cease, it was now.

 

“KK. We are a family. I love you. And I will not abandon you becauthe I think you're not worth it any more. You mean the world to me. No matter how much we will argue or get on each other'th nerveth, I'll alwayth be right there.”

 

The small shoulders stopped shaking as badly and the breathing slowly started to calm down as Karkat pushed his snot-covered and runny nose against Sollux' chest.

 

The software designer grimaced.

 

“It'th like that movie you enjoy tho much, the one with the alien and the little girl. What wath it he learned? Fuck.”

 

Chewing on his bottom lip furiously, Sollux breathed out through his nose. He was terrible at this.

 

“Ouran? No wait, Obi-W-- Holy thhit, am I high? Maybe Obasomething?”

 

Karkat lifted his head and gave his father a highly offended look, eyes watery and cheeks splotchy and red. “It's Ohana, Dad. You are so stupid, how can you forget something like that!”

 

Sollux, on the other hand, looked at that small face, at the brown eyes and raised a hand to brush Karkat's hair out of his face. He was grinning widely and if Karkat hadn't been fighting a grin himself, he might have thought that his father had been messing up on purpose.

 

Then Sollux, who Karkat sometimes doubted to be the more mature person in their household, leaned down to blow a raspberry against Karkat's exposed forehead.

 

With a shout, the boy wriggled around until he tumbled to the ground, making a face before giving his father the finger.

 

“What the hell?! What were--?! Yuck! Dad! I'm not a toddler any more! Stop acting like I am, take your shmoopy stuff and shove it somewhere nasty!!”

 

Sollux made a noise that was more snort than laughter and got up to fetch their scarves and gloves.

 

\---

 

On the twenty-second day of December, Karkat announced that Gamzee would be coming over to stay with them for Christmas and wouldn't give a flying rats ass about any objections.

 

Sollux wisely read between the lines and shrugged, telling an agitated Karkat to go and clean up his room for his friend's arrival and then he would have no objections to those plans.

 

On the inside, he was honestly starting to wonder. Gamzee loved his father, he had seen as much by the pictures the boy had glued to the walls of the hole of an flat he lived in with this father and the stories he would always willingly and lovingly share with anyone.

 

But he always did it with this far away expression and there was always a distracted, tired and sad look in his eyes, yet Gamzee sounded strangely elated, all rolled into one curly haired bundle.

 

It was _weird._

 

Love didn't always mean healthy stability. And Sollux, for as long as his son had known Gamzee and had started to get to know the boy more and more, had yet to actually see his father. He had spoken to him on the phone twice and the voice always sounded weary, shaky and tired to the bone. If Sollux hadn't known about Gamzee's father working long and very unpredictable hours, this would have clued him in. But above all exhaustion, Sollux had never heard any disappointment and agitation in Mister Makara's voice when they were talking about Gamzee.

 

Which was why Sollux had to pause.

 

Why didn't Gamzee's father spend Christmas with his son?

 

 _Neglect_ was on his tongue but he didn't lend it a voice. There was no need.

 

Karkat had caught on long before his father had and was fighting tooth and nail to lend his friend a helping hand.

 

Which still didn't make it right.

 

But it helped.

 

\---

 

On the day before Christmas morning, Gamzee stumbled out of a car which had seen far, far better times if the trail of smoke lingering in the street after the car had left was any indication. The curly haired kid waved after the car until it had disappeared around a corner and for a second, Sollux thought he had finally caught a glimpse of the elusive Mister Makara. Until Gamzee turned to face them with a crooked grin on his face and explained that one of his father's friends had been the one to drop him off and wasn't that just nice of him?

 

Karkat had snorted and shrugged before admitting that yes, that had been rather kind of him. He didn't ask where Gamzee's father was and instead taken the small duffel bag the taller boy was carrying with him. Karkat's usual frown had deepened upon catching sight of the worn out sneakers, not at all suited for the cold weather but he hadn't commented on it. Instead, he had taken Gamzee's cold hand and dragged him into the house, Sollux raising his own eyebrow at the lack of gloves and scarf before walking away to make some warm drinks for both of the children. Even from inside the kitchen, Sollux could hear Karkat rant upstairs about the cold weather and the shitty snow and even heard Gamzee's somewhat softer reply about snow being tiny miracles falling from the sky and how they would miss them if they stopped. Karkat had grudgingly admitted to Gamzee maybe being right.

 

It had made Sollux smirk. It did wonders for Karkat's temper when someone as calm and relaxed as Gamzee was there to talk him down.

 

And for some reason, after watching movies and drinking hot chocolate and after the debating the up- and downsides of colder seasons, the two boys had practically tumbled into Sollux' office, both excited, one more, one slightly less, about the prospect of baking cookies. Gamzee was rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet out of anticipation while Karkat had his arms crossed over his chest, the frown of his face promising bad things if Sollux wouldn't agree to help them out.

 

Torn between amusement and exasperation, Sollux had pushed himself out of his chair and ushered both children into the kitchen. By then, Karkat's frown had evaporated and an equally pleased smile as Gamzee's had painted his lips.

 

Sometimes, it was good to know that both children were just that, moody, chipper and bright kids.

 

Even if it meant cleaning up a kitchen and two children sprinkled with chocolate frosting, eggshells, cookie dough and the smell of cinnamon.

 

It was not unlike the first Christmas Sollux and Aradia had spent with Karkat and it took Sollux a few minutes to realize that the pain in his chest wasn't as strong as all those years before.

 

\---

 

The doorbell rang when all three of them were curled up and squeezed onto the old couch standing in the living room. It had been pushed into facing the Christmas tree instead of the TV and the children were looking at it with drowsy eyes, mugs of hot chocolate cradled close and hair still slightly damp from the bath they had both taken. Small toes peeked out from beneath the blanket Sollux had covered them with before settling down to let Karkat curl against his side while Gamzee, unusually hesitant, had kept his distance until Karkat had reached out and tugged him closer.

 

Gamzee had yet to stop smiling, long limbs splayed out bonelessly all over the edge of the couch, the rest of him draped over Karkat.

 

There was a sort of bitter sweetness in the air, the kind of feeling when you were happy but something was lacking. Or someone, who was supposed to be there, wasn't. For Gamzee, it was obviously his father. The father who never seemed to be around but Gamzee only used the most affectionate tones when describing him, the father who was never around to pick his son up from school but had found a way to grant his son a chance at education. Someone who very much tried his hardest for his kid, to give him a chance at life.

 

Who loved and was loved unconditionally by his kid, a kid who loved puppets and painting and wore clothes not fit for winter, and was loved by his unusual child in return.

 

And while Karkat was right there, gaze tired but radiating happiness and pure contentment, all curled up against his father with a sort of wistful smile that was a joy to see while it evoked a painful kind of emotion, he wasn't the one Sollux was missing. Because he was right there, wouldn't hopefully ever be forced to leave like Aradia had but instead would move away to chase his life's dreams and hopes and would never fully disappear.

 

It was part of growing up.

 

It seemed strange to miss Aradia less this year. Sollux could still close his eyes and pretend that her long hair was brushing against his cheek, her pleased little hum and her long fingers wrapped around his own. She was there, in his mind. Singing Christmas carols and cheerfully bullying Sollux into joining her with his terrible, off-key singing.

 

It hurt.

 

And yet it didn't. For some reason, there was more contentment in the memory than the pain of loss.

 

In hindsight, it really wasn't difficult to figure out who was missing. Who was supposed to be there at Sollux' other side, smelling of ink and tea and some sort of expensive aftershave. Who would be surprisingly compliant and happy, sitting on this terribly uncomfortable couch and staring at the Christmas tree and the resting underneath it. Who would blush and fuss and fume at remarks before the hackles would go up and he'd defend himself.

 

It had only been half a year since meeting Eridan, they'd not even been dating for too long and yet, this was the person Sollux was missing. Someone who would act dignified and then get excited the impression of being smarter, mightier and generally better than Sollux would go flying out the window.

 

Eridan, who Sollux hadn't seen in the last couple of days because they'd both been busy with making arrangements and working on various things. They had called each other, yes. But face to face meetings had always been cancelled. The author had been working very hard on finishing the final touches of a story, sounding tired and frayed around the edges the last time Sollux had called him. They'd both decided it was better to meet up again when Eridan wasn't dragging his fingers through his hair and making it as much of a mess as Sollux did when he was hunched over his laptop.

 

None of the three people sitting in the living room had been prepared for the doorbell to ring. Gamzee had blinked as if coming out of a stupor, looking very confused before sighing and settling back against Karkat. The younger boy grumbled and glared at the doorway as if it had personally offended him, shifting slightly to push himself away from both of him, wriggling to try and slip out of Gamzee's grasp. Which proved to be a losing battle, seeing as Gamzee seemed to have wrapped all his limbs around Karkat, bear-hugging him to his chest. Sollux would have made a comment about Karkat being an oversized, miniature teddybear if the person on the other side of the door hadn't rung the doorbell a second time.

 

Someone was being impatient.

 

With a grunt, Sollux pushed himself onto his feet, knees cracking as he bent down to pick up the blanket, which had fallen to the ground during the strife between Gamzee's arms and Karkat's unwillingness to become a replacement for a creepy doll.

 

Said doll, resting on the back of the couch, looked at Sollux with a wide, happy grin.

 

The software designer shuddered.

 

“KK, you and Gamthee thhould go and brush your teeth. It'th getting pretty late and I jutht know that you'll be waking me up tomorrow by prethhing your cold feet againtht my thtomach at thix am thharp. Might as well get thome proper thleep in before you'll wake up extra cranky tomorrow morning.”

 

Karkat, with all the grace of a dying frog, lifted his hand and gave his father the finger.

 

Gamzee, on the other hand, tightened his hold on Karkat and got up, dragging his protesting friend with him to wrestle him up the stairs after wishing Sollux a good night with a toothy smile.

 

It was only slightly less unnerving than the doll's constant grin.

 

After making sure that the children were upstairs and brushing their teeth, Sollux made his way over to the front door and pulled it open, grimacing at the cold air invading the hallway. Wondering which intelligent person had chosen to visit their house after the sun had already settled and the cold taken over the streets along with the night sky, Sollux adjusted his glasses and squinted past the thick wall of descending snowflakes.

 

Eridan was standing a couple of feet away from the door, staring up at the sky with a sullen frown on his face. He wore a coat which seemed to belong to a person shorter to him, someone with a smaller waistline. Dimly, Sollux remembered seeing the coat on Feferi and he didn't bother stopping the snort of amusement from leaving him. The shoes the author was wearing looked too expensive to be worn in weather like this, not to mention dangerous. Even from the distance, Sollux could tell that they had very little profile.

 

It was a terribly cute, if confusing, sight to behold.

 

Sollux cleared his throat and Eridan, who had apparently overheard the door opening and apparently been on the verge of giving, whirled around, eyes wide before he caught himself and smoothed down his coat.

 

He wasn't wearing gloves.

 

“I finished the story.”

 

“What--”

 

Oh. The reason why they had agreed to not meet up until later.

 

And Eridan, mismatching socks peeking out beneath his shoes and not nearly looking as well-groomed as he usually did, must have sent it off to his editor before grabbing his keys and leaving his old, empty house behind. Driving all the way with heavy snow obscuring his view and making it difficult to navigate at all.

 

Just to spend the night before Christmas with his boyfriend.

 

“Oh God, my boyfriend ith a thap.”

 

Eridan bristled, eyebrows knitting together and opened his mouth to protest, to put in a very vocal objection about his spending time with someone he loved was not being sappy, it was called being romantic.

 

Sollux crossed the distance between them. The footprints in left in the snow was all Eridan could see before he closed his eyes, the kiss the only thing on his mind.

 

This was Sollux' favourite way of making Eridan shut up. Warm lips against slightly colder ones, fingers tugging at that scarf Eridan seemed to insist on wearing all year long and a red, frozen nose bumping against a slightly warmer one while the snow continued to fall all around them.

 

Eridan had very few complaints himself. Being shut up this way meant that Sollux wasn't able to talk either, making the night before Christmas a little more pleasant for everyone else.

 

They parted, breath puffing between them as Eridan leaned his forehead against Sollux'.

 

“Merry Chrithtmath, ED.”

 

Eridan smiled.

 

\---

 

Surprisingly enough, Karkat didn't wake his father up at six am by sticking his cold feet under the blanket and tickling his stomach with his even colder toes.

 

Christmas miracles happened after all.

 

Instead, the lack of space was ultimately what forced Sollux to open his eyes, cheek pushed against the pillow while the other was being smothered by messy dark hair. It seemed as if Sollux wasn't the only one who was used to more space, seeing as Eridan was currently using him as a body-pillow, snoring softly into Sollux ear. How this was supposed to be comfortable, the software designer had no idea because feeling Eridan's cheekbone dig into his skin was about as comfortable as hugging a cactus.

 

After a few careful attempts of moving away without waking Eridan up, Sollux sighed and just pushed the other man onto his back.

 

Eridan continued to snore, undisturbed, mouth falling open in the new position.

 

He was drooling on the pillow, too. Sollux was just happy this hadn't happened when he had been playing pillow for Eridan.

 

At least the author looked relaxed, wavy hair in a tangled mess around Eridan's had and the violet streak looking far from good, seeing as it hadn't been carefully groomed into place. It now looked as ridiculous as it always did to Sollux, an extravagance that made no sense to him. What mattered was the way Eridan's eyelashes fluttered against his skin, the way his snore were interrupted by short whining noises, the petulant, haughty expression he sometimes wore wasn't gracing the author's face any more. His fingers twitched against the blanket as he let out a snuffling breath and rolled onto his side instead, hugging the pillow to his chest.

 

Sollux raised a hand to his lips and found them to be curved into a happy smile.

 

He was as much of a sap as Eridan was, wasn't he?

 

Not bothering to cover his yawn with a hand, Sollux shuffled out of the room and down the stairs to prepare the yearly Christmas drinks consisting of hot chocolate and a cup of coffee with cinnamon sprinkles. This time, more cups were pulled out of the cabinet.

 

It looked like two of them simply didn't cut it any more, did they?

 

Upstairs, a door opened and someone shuffled along the hallway. Sollux was too familiar with his son and his house to not know who was walking to his bedroom. Merrily, he stirred his cup of coffee and waited.

 

For a few seconds, everything was quiet. Then twin shrieks came from the direction of Sollux' bedroom, one shrill and high while the other sounded a lot more confused and uncomfortable.

 

Something thumped against the floor in Karkat's room and Sollux could only assume that Gamzee had fallen out of the bed.

 

Simply because Sollux' Christmas morning hadn't started with cold feet to the stomach didn't mean that his son wouldn't try. And inevitably push them against Eridan's warm skin.

 

Heavy stomping followed the shrieks and Karkat came rushing down the stairs, cheeks and ears red, looking utterly humiliated and embarrassed and angry and he latched against Sollux' side with all the power he had in his arms.

 

Grinning, Sollux took a sip from his coffee and offered Karkat the cup containing the hot chocolate.

 

He could definitely get used to this.

 

\---

 

Gift wrappings were spread all over the living room and none of them had bothered to pile the gifts into neat little stacks, everything was a mess beneath the Christmas tree. Gamzee was lying on his back on the ground, Lil' Cal in his arms, clad in a soft, green suit that Eridan had pulled out of Feferi's coat- (“How did you manage to get your handth on her coat anyway?” “She was over last afternoon to ' _Make sure her favorite character doesn't get killed off_.' and she must have switched our coats out of spite when I actually did kill them.” “The Cuttlefithh?” “The Cuttlefish, yes.”) -and handed it to Gamzee with the words of 'I know a guy.'

 

Gamzee had looked utterly delighted and given Eridan a hug.

 

Sollux had pulled himself together to not comment on the flabbergasted expression on Eridan's face.

 

Karkat, aside from being given a variety of small gifts, had ended up looking very pleased with his copy of the new Moonshatter game he had been staring at longingly every time father and son passed a game store.

 

When Eridan had offered his gift to Karkat, the young boy had seemed as if he didn't want to accept it, at first. But after a few minutes of studying Eridan's face, the present and then the Christmas tree, Karkat had held out his hands to open it.

 

In the silence that followed, a needle could have dropped to the ground the even the neighbours would have been able to pick it up.

 

It was a collection of short stories for children. The collection had been published before Karkat had been born so neither of them had paid it any heed. But Eridan had. Eridan, who had also gone out of his way to get the book signed by the author himself.

 

_Merry Christmas, Karkat. Thanks for being such a faithful reader! :) Simon Nitram_

 

Judging by the way Karkat was hunched over the book, guarding it closely, it wouldn't take him long to turn into Gollum, with the book as his precious ring.

 

Watching the children were the adults, sitting on the couch, quiet and comfortable with each other. It was nice, spending time together like this, letting the atmosphere wash over them, the warmth of another person to keep them safe and happy.

 

It was pure, unadulterated bliss.

 

Then Sollux' cellphone rang.

 

Karkat looked up from his prized possession and pursed his lips.

 

Gamzee rolled over and landed on the horn which had been given to him as a gag-gift, the toy making a honking noise until Karkat reached over and pulled it out from beneath Gamzee's back.

 

Even Eridan looked less then pleased and Sollux couldn't blame any of them, especially since he didn't recognize the number. It was neither his parents', nor Aradia's father's number. Strangers calling on Christmas. Great. With a sigh, Sollux answered the call.

 

“Captor thpeaking.”

 

After a few seconds of listening to the other person, Sollux' eyebrow shot up to disappear behind his bangs.

 

Eridan, curious and nosy as ever, made a inquisitive noise.

 

Sollux, well-versed in non-verbal conversation as he was or perhaps simply to be an asshole, smirked at Eridan and moved to leave the room.

 

“Uh-huh... Yeah, no, I get it, thtop futhhing.”

 

His voice drifted into the distance the closer he got to his office and Eridan was suddenly well aware that he had been left alone with two kids, one who openly disliked him and the other never seemed fully there.

 

Karkat gave Eridan a baleful stare before getting up and walking over to him.

 

He was clutching his present to the chest like a shield.

 

“You didn't have to get me anything so... thanks. You're not quite the asshole I thought you'd be about this.”

 

Huh. That was new.

 

Eridan blinked before scoffing and opening his mouth to kindly accept the gratitude with utmost dignity. Karkat beat him to the punch.

 

“You're still a bag of dicks and I hope your editor will return the script because it's that terrible.”

 

Ah. Eridan couldn't help but allow himself a tiny smile, watching as Karkat bristled and went to help Gamzee up so they could get the presents upstairs.

 

That was much more in character.

 

\---

 

When Sollux had told him to get the door ' _becauthe if I leave now, I'm pretty thure the thythtem will crathh._ ' Never mind that the system in question was the electric kettle. But Eridan, gracious boyfriend that he was, grumbled only quietly before leaving to pull the front door open to let what he assumed to be Sollux' parents into the house.

 

It turned out that no, the person on the other side was not even one of the software designer's father. Not Karkat's maternal grandfather either.

 

Eridan was aware that he was openly staring but he honest to God didn't care. The man standing in front of him was tall, taller than anyone else the author had ever seen before, a willowy, stooping built with hunched over shoulders that implied years of trying to squeeze into a life made for different people. The man wore a long, snow-dusted coat, which had probably been white at one point but was now a faded grey colour. And, despite it's length, it was still too short, frayed sleeves far from reaching the thin wrists. The hands, long-fingered and wiry, were clinging to the brim of a round hat. His grip was shaky and when the man finally opened his mouth, he spoke with a slight stutter.

 

“Sollux C-captor?”

 

Eyebrow raised, Eridan gave the stranger another once over, taking in the frizzy and curly brown hair sprinkled with the first signs of grey, blue eyes with the beginnings of worry-wrinkles around them, the long nose and the slim, cracked lips.

 

Craning his neck, he looked past the man to catch of a glimpse of a very, very old looking car which seemed to be holding together by sheer force of will, courtesy to the men inside of it. They were two, slightly less shabby looking people waiting inside the car. The shorter one gave Eridan a hard, long stare.

 

The author shuddered, hiding it behind a cough before glancing up once more. A small, polite but ultimately nervous smile appeared on the man's face as he tilted his head to the side.

 

And things clicked into place.

 

“You're--”

 

“Oh good. Lookth like you didn't drive into a ditch and die after all. That would have ruined Chrithtmath for everyone involved.”

 

Sollux stepped out of the kitchen, a hand wrapped around the cup of tea he had apparently just finished fixing up for Eridan. And then the cup was suddenly being pushed into Eridan's hands and all he could do was splutter as Sollux pushed past him and held out a hand to the giant of a man standing in his doorway.

 

“ED, thtop blocking the doorway and move over. Unlethh you think your gaping maw ith very attractive. You thhould go and get an appointment with your dentitht becauthe that lookth pretty bad from over here.”

 

Eridan squared his shoulders and straightened his back, hurt flashing in his eyes for a split second before he rolled them. Leave it to Sollux Captor to be an insensitive dick to him on Christmas. Why had he thought it was a smart idea to stay the night again? Oh right.

 

Because he happened to be in love with the guy and his stupid obsession for things that went in pairs and the idiotic little snorting laugh that he sometimes let out when he was genuinely amused.

 

“Christ, Sol, you really know how to leave a good first impression on a guy. I'm surprised no one punched you in the face for being such an obnoxious shithead.”

 

“You're all jutht jealouth of my killer-lithp and witth.”

 

“Uhm...”

 

Before both of them could end up getting distracted by their bickering, the tall man had cleared his throat and finally grabbed Sollux' hand to give it a short shake.

 

“Pace Ingram, n-nice to meet you in person, Mister Captor.”

 

“Don't jutht thtand around like a pine tree, come in. Coffee, tea?”

 

Eridan frowned at the sudden excitement Sollux was brimming with, wondering if there was reason for him to be so pleased. On the other hand, he could relate. Technically, Feferi wasn't allowed to talk much about her students and their grades and their issues. That technicality did not seem to include Eridan, however. Not that he minded, while he hadn't wanted to listen to her issues and talk about his own instead when he was younger, he now liked listening to her. It made him feel appreciated and listening to his oldest friend was the least that he could do, wasn't it? It made him feel closer to her when she let her job fade into the background, let it fall enough to share her anxieties and worries about the children she taught. When it got really bad, when Feferi fretted and wanted to smother and care about the kids, she called him and he let her vent. Because she couldn't simply _fix_ everyone and everything, no matter how much she wanted to. It was too unhealthy for her and the children.

 

But she had shared her worries about Gamzee before. How his father rarely showed up to the parent-teacher meetings and when he did, he looked tired and over-worked and apparently in no position to care for a child. And Eridan knew that Feferi would have called the social services if not for the fact that Gamzee's father appeared to genuinely love his kid, always asked for her opinion and seemed to take her suggestions into serious consideration.

 

And now the man was standing in Sollux' house, shrugging off his coat and giving the ceiling and doorways calculating looks as if trying to find out how much smaller he'd have to make himself in order to fit in.

 

Both of them, Eridan and Gamzee's father, were startled out of their thoughts when Sollux unexpectedly called out Gamzee's name.

 

“Gamzee! Thanta dropped off another prethent for you! You thhould come and fetch it, it barely fitth into the hallway!”

 

There was a moment of silence in which Mister Makara gave Sollux a bemused look before shaking his head in resignation. Eridan was slightly tempted to follow his example. Sollux was simply unbearable sometimes.

 

A door opened upstairs and two heads pokes around the corner to look down into the hallway.

 

Then Gamzee came tearing down the stairs so fast that Eridan thought he'd slip and break his neck on his way down. He skipped the last three steps entirely and launched himself at his father instead, wrapping his legs around the scrawny chest, face hidden against the collarbone. His shoulders were shaking and the noises he was making were a mixture of pain, confusion and happiness. Gamzee sounded like an abused animal, the sound gut wrenching and ugly and in no time flat, his father's too short shirt was stained with snot and tears and laughter and borderline hysterics.

 

The boy was crying and stuttering and hiccuping and clinging to his father as if his life depended on it.

 

His father was clinging just as tightly to his son, face buried in brown curls and large hands supporting his weight. He was making nonsense noises and answering Gamzee's babbled questions in a low tone of voice.

 

Karkat, who had quietly followed Gamzee down the stairs, took Sollux' hand with both of his own and squeezed. Sollux grinned and returned the squeeze before wrapping an arm around Eridan's waist, drawing him closer.

 

Outside, the snow had finally stopped falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the delay and thank you all for being so patient with me. Writer's block sucks. I'm hoping this chapter still managed to entertain you. Because you're all awesome for leaving so many kudos and comments and I love you all. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments and I'll try to answer them.
> 
> 4/25 EDIT: I've decided to end this fic here. I'm sorry for those who wanted to read more. I don't have the energy left to finish this fic since I've mostly lost interest in Homestuck fanfiction and university has been eating me alive. What would have happened later would have been Eridan and Karkat grumbling at each other a lot, Sollux thinking that it would have been amusing as hell and Feferi would have meddled a bit. Also, Eridan would have had a talk with Aradia's grave in the end, with Karkat present. 
> 
> And that would have been it. 
> 
> Again, I'm sorry for not finishing this. Thank you for reading Out Through the Curtain. It was a lot of fun while it lasted! <3


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